Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have suggested more than once. Advice not taken.

+1

My doctor uncle suggested it to my mom.

Advice not taken.

+3

I am in this situation now, with my father. I have asked my mother to call his doctor, in advance of his next appointment (already scheduled) to discuss depression + other anxiety issues he is having, and ask to have him screened in a way that is couched as a normal aging-process-screening sort of thing. It's clear to us (the kids) that he needs some kind of mood-stabilizer, but he absolutely does not see that there are any problems, much less something that he needs to talk to a doctor about. This is about the only thing we can think of to alert his doctor of the problems, without doing it in -front- of my father which would be an absolute disaster.

My mom has agreed to do that and the plan is that if she feels like she can't, then she will give me the number to call. The tricky thing is that my mom has to live with the repercussions of this, not us because we are out of state. So if the doctor screws up and says, "well your wife says X,Y,Z", then it will be awful for my mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom suffered a lot of family deaths when I was young. About as long as I've known her she's shown classic symptoms of depression.

Has anyone approached this subject with a parent. I feel like it's dicey but I really think it could help her. Thoughts.

Wouldn't it be up to her physician to determine whether she needs an antidepressant?

This is a a naiive response given that most physicians see their patients for like 20 minutes maybe once a year at most. Unless depression symptoms are glaring, or unless OP's mom levels with her doctor and specifically asks about medication, it's a crap shoot whether the physician will write a prescription or make a psychiatrist referral. OP, if you feel able to suggest meds to your mom I think it's worth a try. Just be prepared that she might be resistant. You can also suggest talking to a therapist. Sometimes people are more open to therapy than meds, and a therapist could help both by giving her someone to talk to , and also sometimes therapists will suggest adding medication as part of overall treatment.

But it's not always a losing proposition to have the mom see her own doctor. The OP can alert the doctor before the visit to the mom's signs of depression. Depending greatly on whether mom and doctor are both OK with the adult child being present at an exam, the OP could even bring it up in front of the doctor with mom there (preferably after discussing it with mom, so it's not a surprise to her).

Some parents are not going to deal well at all with the adult child saying "Have you considered meds" because some in the older generation are averse to the idea of psychiatric medications (basing that statement on my own elderly mom and many of her friends whom I know well). And many older people won't take any medical advice from their own kids but might listen more to an authority figure like a professional third party whom they already know. Then there's the trust issue: Saying, "Mom, I'd like to suggest you see a therapist and I've made you an appointment with Dr. X (whom you've never seen before) to talk about possible depression" could scare mom off, whereas if her own regular doctor says, "I want you to see Dr. X" she might listen.

A great deal depends on OP's relationship with mom, mom's own experiences with and opinions about doctors and mental health, and mom's own doctor who may or may not be good at seeing signs of depression in the elderly. OP, think about how your mom might react, but please do something. Go with your instinct here and talk with your mom first. Maybe she'll be receptive right away to either therapy or meds or both, but don't be surprised if she resists, or feels that "It's just my personality, I've always been this way" etc. Consider the type of person she is -- would she be receptive if you, for instance, show her studies and articles, or is she the type to open up better if a peer her own age brings this up, etc.?

Not exactly, but my mom is on an Effexor and if she's acting crazy I ask her if she's forgotten to take it. at least 90% of the time, she has. She isn't offended because I'm right!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have suggested more than once. Advice not taken.

+1

My doctor uncle suggested it to my mom.

Advice not taken.

Yes. My bro even bought my dad st johns wart. My dad wouldn't go to a dr about depression. He wasn't angry about it but nothing's changed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom suffered a lot of family deaths when I was young. About as long as I've known her she's shown classic symptoms of depression.

Has anyone approached this subject with a parent. I feel like it's dicey but I really think it could help her. Thoughts.

Wouldn't it be up to her physician to determine whether she needs an antidepressant?

This is a a naiive response given that most physicians see their patients for like 20 minutes maybe once a year at most. Unless depression symptoms are glaring, or unless OP's mom levels with her doctor and specifically asks about medication, it's a crap shoot whether the physician will write a prescription or make a psychiatrist referral. OP, if you feel able to suggest meds to your mom I think it's worth a try. Just be prepared that she might be resistant. You can also suggest talking to a therapist. Sometimes people are more open to therapy than meds, and a therapist could help both by giving her someone to talk to , and also sometimes therapists will suggest adding medication as part of overall treatment.

Anonymous wrote:My mom suffered a lot of family deaths when I was young. About as long as I've known her she's shown classic symptoms of depression.

Has anyone approached this subject with a parent. I feel like it's dicey but I really think it could help her. Thoughts.

Wouldn't it be up to her physician to determine whether she needs an antidepressant?

Yes!

My dad finally started seeing a therapist, and in conjunction with that has meds. He has some chronic health issues that are really difficult to handle, and these trigger depression in him. It seems to be helping somewhat, thank goodness. He at least has someone else to talk to who is trained to help.

MIL has severe anxiety and some depression. I would sell tickets to the moment I would tell her what I have always wanted to. The woman is long overdue for meds.

Anonymous wrote:Have suggested more than once. Advice not taken.

+1

Have suggested more than once. Advice not taken.

My mom has more anxiety than depression and I've suggested both medicine and therapy. I don't think her current medicine is helping and that she really needs the help of talking it out with someone objective. Agree it depends on the relationship...but then again, if it can't get worse, then maybe you might as well

I have and she is on one. She got on them after my sister died and has been on and off ever since. Now is back on them with my dad being sick. Suggesting will depend on your relationship with your mom. A therapist is good for them too so they have someone independent to speak to

My mom suffered a lot of family deaths when I was young. About as long as I've known her she's shown classic symptoms of depression.

Has anyone approached this subject with a parent. I feel like it's dicey but I really think it could help her. Thoughts.