Anonymous wrote:I did not know a 12 yo could have a 12 yo daughter...you sure sound like a middle schooler.

This! I can't imagine ever holding my kid back from going to a party because of past issues I had with the parents. At this age drop off is easy peasy...Just pull in the driveway and tell her what time you will be outside to pick her up. Its not like she's 4 and you have to walk her in and stay.

I did not know a 12 yo could have a 12 yo daughter...you sure sound like a middle schooler.

"Drama, drama, drama, drama, drama, drama." Let it go, OP. Life's too short!

Anonymous wrote:Unless you think she's going to hurt your daughter somehow, let her go.

This. Drop your DD off and let her know you will come pick her up at any point if she calls you. Try and stay within 5-10 minutes of the house (Starbucks or something).

Unless you think she's going to hurt your daughter somehow, let her go.

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
All of you are asking me to send DD to the party.

This woman has not left any school events to constantly insult me or hurt me.
I avoided them totally.
I don't keep in touch with couple of good acquaintances because they chose to make fun of me along with her or talk behind me.
That is the kind of influence she has.

One day at a school event she said that my DD was mean to her DD.
Then I asked if we can call the kids and talk about it. she said not needed.
But I went ahead and called my DD and asked if she was mean to the other girl.
I asked this right in front of kids, mom and other moms who were present there.
My daughter said no and her daughter said no. This woman mumbled something after that.
So this woman was just lying about it probably thought I will not speak up this time as well.

I know for sure that she spread some bad rumors about me and my DD. Things seems to have improved between the kids. But I don't trust the other woman. I really don't think she means well.

I don't mean this in a mean way, but you're being crazy. She tried to pull a power play on you, failed, and took it badly. The kids are TWELVE! They are old enough to be friends with whoever they like. Your daughter was invited because the other GIRL wants your DD to come. Not because the mom is planning to pour paint on your DD's head or some other humiliating act. Let your DD go. Be mature. I find that when I behave maturely and treat people as if of COURSE they too behave maturely, it helps them to actually behave maturely.

OP here.
All of you are asking me to send DD to the party.

This woman has not left any school events to constantly insult me or hurt me.
I avoided them totally.
I don't keep in touch with couple of good acquaintances because they chose to make fun of me along with her or talk behind me.
That is the kind of influence she has.

One day at a school event she said that my DD was mean to her DD.
Then I asked if we can call the kids and talk about it. she said not needed.
But I went ahead and called my DD and asked if she was mean to the other girl.
I asked this right in front of kids, mom and other moms who were present there.
My daughter said no and her daughter said no. This woman mumbled something after that.
So this woman was just lying about it probably thought I will not speak up this time as well.

I know for sure that she spread some bad rumors about me and my DD.

Things seems to have improved between the kids. But I don't trust the other woman. I really don't think she means well.

I sympathize with your feelings, OP. I would not want to have anything to do with people like that, either. Is it possible for somebody to come with you if you dropped DD off?

Anonymous wrote:Of COURSE you let your kid go. Know why your kid was invited? Because the other kid wants yours there! Your kid is 12 - just drive up to the place and say to your kid, "I'll pick you up right here at 4pm; have a great time!" and that's it.

That, or arrange a lift to and from with some other friend.

Let your DD make her own decision on this (without your opinion).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would accept. Your issue with mom has nothing to do with kid's friendship.

This.

Plus 1

Plus 2.

Of COURSE you let your kid go. Know why your kid was invited? Because the other kid wants yours there! Your kid is 12 - just drive up to the place and say to your kid, "I'll pick you up right here at 4pm; have a great time!" and that's it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would accept. Your issue with mom has nothing to do with kid's friendship.

This.

Plus 1

Anonymous wrote:I would accept. Your issue with mom has nothing to do with kid's friendship.

This.

I would accept. Your issue with mom has nothing to do with kid's friendship.

I don't want to get into too many details.
Basically 2 kids friendship and their respective parents friendship broke up due to something. This was 2 years back.

Now kids are 12. the other kid's parents invited mine to her birthday party. Clearly I am still hurt from all the things they said to me and behind me.
Even if I am the clueless one in the whole thing, I could not say a single thing at the time as that mom is a loud mouth and a popular mom.

My kid wants to go the cool party. I am not able to decide if I should send her or not.
DH is traveling so unable to help me out here.
I do not even want to meet the other parents while dropping or picking up my DD.
I still feel bad thinking of all the maligning and hurtful things that were said and done 2 years back.

What would you do if it is your DD and yourself trying to deal with such situation?