It could be any number of things. Budget, different grieving process, doesn't put importance to funerals, dealing with major issues.......

Maybe she can't afford it and is embarrassed to tell you that.

Sounds like depression.

Translation: the family was making her depressed, her therapist told her to go somewhere and make a new life and not engage with these toxic people (who probably judge her and try to run her life)

Leave her alone.

Anonymous wrote:It's not about seeing me. She didn't want to come for holidays and other events because of this same reason. I think it's kind of selfish.

I don't know OP, I think it's selfish of you to make travel plans because that's what YOU want. You're not entitled to make those kinds of decisions or others. Live your life. As long as your sister isn't actively really harming anyone (and it doesn't sound like she is), let her live her life. It isn't your place to tell people what to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How close was she to the deceased?

Yes, if it's not someone she was close to, I wouldn't expect her to attend.

Or if she was very close, she may want to grieve her own way. Funerals are about helping the living cope, not the dead.

Anonymous wrote:How close was she to the deceased?

Yes, if it's not someone she was close to, I wouldn't expect her to attend.

Sounds like she's smoking a lot of ganj.

Okay, she's selfish? So what? She's not coming to the funeral. Move on.

How close was she to the deceased?

Anonymous wrote:It's not about seeing me. She didn't want to come for holidays and other events because of this same reason. I think it's kind of selfish.

You're missing my point. Maybe she just doesn't come because she doesn't like you. Maybe she's just too polite to say that.

I know it's hard for you to see, but you are unreasonable to expect/demand that she do anything. You can think it's selfish of her, but ultimately that doesn't matter and doesn't make her wrong just because you would do something differently. She can do what she wants.

It's not about seeing me. She didn't want to come for holidays and other events because of this same reason. I think it's kind of selfish.

Yes, you are unreasonable. Let people mourn however they want to. Maybe she can't tell you the truth - that she just doesn't want to see you?

She moved to the Caribbean a few years ago and hasn't returned since. We told her about a death in the family and she insisted that she can't come home because being in the U.S. Is too depressing. Am I unreasonable to expect her to get over it for 2 days for a funeral.