Anonymous wrote:My MIL always set up a sort of competition where my DH would have to choose between her or me. I told her I wasn't playing and she could just say she won and that he loves her the most. It felt great and she does not try that shit anymore.

This is what my MIL does every time she visits. I don't get it at all!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone telling OP to grow up? Sounds like she stood up for herself and her kids and called her MIL out on behavior that was potentially affecting the kids. Isn't that a good thing?

Good for you, OP, to clear the air. Maybe you and MIL can change up your dynamic a bit now.

+1000

Too many bitter MILs here, clearly.

your turn will come, don't worry.

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone telling OP to grow up? Sounds like she stood up for herself and her kids and called her MIL out on behavior that was potentially affecting the kids. Isn't that a good thing?

Good for you, OP, to clear the air. Maybe you and MIL can change up your dynamic a bit now.

+1000

Too many bitter MILs here, clearly.

Anonymous wrote:I've never done that, though my MIL has given me a lot of grief because I'm not from her race/culture. My husband has spoken with her, basically saying that however she feels about me, he loves me and that she needs to accept it and to treat the kids better, too.

She just ignored it and treated it all as a joke. I'd never tell her off, because it would be pointless and upset people needlessly. We set boundaries with her, and don't let her go overboard. Can't change people.

OP here. This is what I did! I may have phrased it wrong. Anyway I feel better!

Another bit*h DIL thread...

My MIL always set up a sort of competition where my DH would have to choose between her or me. I told her I wasn't playing and she could just say she won and that he loves her the most. It felt great and she does not try that shit anymore.

Why is everyone telling OP to grow up? Sounds like she stood up for herself and her kids and called her MIL out on behavior that was potentially affecting the kids. Isn't that a good thing?

Good for you, OP, to clear the air. Maybe you and MIL can change up your dynamic a bit now.

Anonymous wrote:"Telling someone off " is childish and immature. Emotionally mature adults address issues as they arise in a mature and controlled manner.

+1.

Grow up, OP.

I've never done that, though my MIL has given me a lot of grief because I'm not from her race/culture. My husband has spoken with her, basically saying that however she feels about me, he loves me and that she needs to accept it and to treat the kids better, too.

She just ignored it and treated it all as a joke. I'd never tell her off, because it would be pointless and upset people needlessly. We set boundaries with her, and don't let her go overboard. Can't change people.

You may need to be more assertive and set boundaries with her. I always felt worse after telling someone off, so I just bite my tongue and try to limit my interactions.

"Telling someone off " is childish and immature. Emotionally mature adults address issues as they arise in a mature and controlled manner.

Better to make it a habit to stand up for yourself, than to blow-up and "tell her off"

Wow. How terrible was she?

How does she take it out on the kids??

I basically told my MIL that I know she doesn't like me, and that it is a non issue, but she needs to not take it out on the kids, because I avoid her, anyway. It felt good to get that off my chest. Thanks for "listening". Anyone else?