By asking you to pay for a nursing home, she is telling you she needs help and cannot do this by herself.

Taking care of someone with dementia is a hard, hard, task. Not everyone is capable of doing it. You are asking for her to care for him round the clock? I think you're wrong in saying he doesn't need a nurse.

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't have money. He has dementia and is not of sound mind/body. I suggested that he could live with her (they are both in the same city and he lives with her now anyway) and I would pay her a stipend of sorts (2k/month) for her role in caring for him. He doesn't need a nurse to care for him because my sister is at home all day anyway.

You sound like a peach.

She doesn't have money. He has dementia and is not of sound mind/body. I suggested that he could live with her (they are both in the same city and he lives with her now anyway) and I would pay her a stipend of sorts (2k/month) for her role in caring for him. He doesn't need a nurse to care for him because my sister is at home all day anyway.

jump on to this...my in laws are in PA. currently paying for their own nursing care. their assets will run out....as the sole provider in my household is there any way I could get stuck footing the bill for my MIL and FIL?!

Your dad should pay for it with his assets.

What does your DAD want?

More info please.

Other poster here (asking about nursing homes). If this is not my sibling posting (same situation as this post)....

It depends on where your parent is located. Different states have different laws.

You need to watch it, if your sibling is anything like mine, they will try to play martyr (to an academy award winning extent) - and definitely pocket whatever they can.

Sorry to hear there is more than one of us in this situation.

Where is your father? State?

I would personally appreciate people who have been through this chiming in; as it seems like there are some posters trying to challenge our situations. It is stressful enough, without more antagonism, that is for sure.

What is your sister doing--is she paying the other half (meaning it's $14K a month!) Has she been the primary care giver? Give us more context please.

I think we need more info. Who's taking care of him now? How much savings does he have?

And to the pp who wanted a less expensive alternative, 7k is pretty cheap. (sadly)

So don't

Say no. Problem solved.

Who is going to take care of him if he's not in a home? You? Or do you expect someone else to do it? Would you pay bills either way? Can you find a less expensive alternative?

7k per month. She wants to put our dad in a home. I don't want to, she is trying to make me pay.