Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to 11. My son does not have ADD or anxiety issues and literally flipped a switch when he turned 11. It lasts for about a year. I found myself engaging in circular arguments in an attempt to reason with him. I quickly learned that it was just as useful as reasoning with a toddler. So I stopped.

Just stay consistent and calm. Do not engage in the arguments. It's okay to say, "I'm walking away now. Let me know when you're ready to talk calmly." And be consistent with any consequences around disrespectful behavior. It's okay to be upset. It's not okay to call names, talk back or speak to me in a mocking tone. Any of that results in a serious loss of privilege---the precious phone is taken away.

OMG, this. Now can you tell my DH this? Circular, spun up arguments!

Last night, after DS wen to bed, I mentioned to DH not to engage DS (as our therapist instructed us). His response, "Well, you do X, Y, Z." I did not engage in what comments to rile me and remained calm. I said, "This isn't a criticism."

DH repsonds, "Of course it's a criticism!" and stomps off to pout. It's double the emotional regression.

Seems like a criticism to me. I don't know what alternative there is, though, if he's not going to follow directions.

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to 11. My son does not have ADD or anxiety issues and literally flipped a switch when he turned 11. It lasts for about a year. I found myself engaging in circular arguments in an attempt to reason with him. I quickly learned that it was just as useful as reasoning with a toddler. So I stopped.

Just stay consistent and calm. Do not engage in the arguments. It's okay to say, "I'm walking away now. Let me know when you're ready to talk calmly." And be consistent with any consequences around disrespectful behavior. It's okay to be upset. It's not okay to call names, talk back or speak to me in a mocking tone. Any of that results in a serious loss of privilege---the precious phone is taken away.

OMG, this. Now can you tell my DH this? Circular, spun up arguments!

Last night, after DS wen to bed, I mentioned to DH not to engage DS (as our therapist instructed us). His response, "Well, you do X, Y, Z." I did not engage in what comments to rile me and remained calm. I said, "This isn't a criticism."

DH repsonds, "Of course it's a criticism!" and stomps off to pout. It's double the emotional regression.

I'm really glad you started this thread. My 11 yo DS (ADHD, Anxiety) just started with all this drama maybe 3 weeks ago. All of a sudden it's like he's a toddler again - he gets upset, and next thing I know he's literally laying on the ground crying. I'm just super confused by it all. Glad to know I'm not alone.

This has been happening with our DS (12) for the last 6 months. Puberty/adolescence is tough! Add issues like ADHD to the mix and yes, it can be hellish!! At times, we feel like we're dealing with a 2 year old. Broadly speaking, many friends report the same types of issues in their kids (with or without special needs).

Welcome to 11. My son does not have ADD or anxiety issues and literally flipped a switch when he turned 11. It lasts for about a year. I found myself engaging in circular arguments in an attempt to reason with him. I quickly learned that it was just as useful as reasoning with a toddler. So I stopped.

Just stay consistent and calm. Do not engage in the arguments. It's okay to say, "I'm walking away now. Let me know when you're ready to talk calmly." And be consistent with any consequences around disrespectful behavior. It's okay to be upset. It's not okay to call names, talk back or speak to me in a mocking tone. Any of that results in a serious loss of privilege---the precious phone is taken away.

I think puberty causes meltdowns and flying off the handle generally, and hormone cycles cause issues with many, many, special needs, medical conditions, disabilities, and generally with mood. I can't speak specifically to AdhD/anxiety but I would not be surprised if estrogen/progesterone played a role.

My DD with ADD and Anxiety and sensory issues is suddenly at newly 11 display8ing habits she hasn't in years -- having meltdowns, and scratching her siblings and flying off the handle at little things. Is there any pattern with kids where puberty sets this stuff off again? Any ideas?