I feel you OP my MIL is the same way. Isn't it up to you had DH to decide who gets the bed? Obnoxious yes, but easy to solve.

OP, what culture is MIL from that she puts a man's comfort ahead of a pregnant woman's? Or is she just wacko? I'd ignore it all and do as I please. It's just a visit. Your husband had better be looking out for you.

Anonymous wrote:Of course you don't agree with her sexist patriarchal views so why would you even think of doing what she says you should do.

I also don't understand why any family would willingly put themselves in the situation that you are in. Once I had kids, I stopped the 30 people trying to survive in one house kind of visits. This is fine for a meal but not for sleeping and bathing.

You went along with this op.

+1

Oh wow. I think I would have had "car trouble" for a day or so to avoid this kind of a trip.

If the comments continue, I'd let DH know that your pain has increased to the point where you need to get a hotel room just for yourself to deal with it

Not completely related to your vent, but I was able to get physical therapy prescribed for sciatica in my last pregnancy and the therapy mainly consisted of a weekly massage at the PT office. It made a world of difference.

Dh wasn't there for the comment, but is very understanding that I need the bed.

Where does your dh stand in all of this?

Of course you don't agree with her sexist patriarchal views so why would you even think of doing what she says you should do.

I also don't understand why any family would willingly put themselves in the situation that you are in. Once I had kids, I stopped the 30 people trying to survive in one house kind of visits. This is fine for a meal but not for sleeping and bathing.

You went along with this op.

Anonymous wrote:Nope, no need to engage. You're going to sleep on the bed and you don't need anyone's comment on it. I'm sure someone here will think of something witty to say to MIL, but I don't even think she's worth it. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

+1

Ignore her and do what you want.

Did she give an ostensible reason why she thought your DH should get the bed and you should get the futon? Like you would be taking turns on the futon or something?

OP, if you aren't into it, just say you're not feeling well and get back in the car and go home!

Let DH speak up on this one. "Mom! I am not taking a bed away from my pregnant wife! I'm fine on the futon."

Nope, no need to engage. You're going to sleep on the bed and you don't need anyone's comment on it. I'm sure someone here will think of something witty to say to MIL, but I don't even think she's worth it. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Why keep your trap shut?

Life's too short to put up with this shit.

I worked all day and drove 4 hours to join my dh, my 2 kids, and dh's family for a very long 4th of July week/weekend. Dh has three brothers who are here with wives, kids, girlfriends. All in all its 14 people under one roof--- pretty crowded. The sleeping arrangements have ended up with me in a bed and my dh on a crappy futon, which is a bummer for him, but he is the one who wanted to come on this trip. I am 6.5 months pregnant and having pretty terrible sciatica. My mil just suggested that after tonight when I "catch up" on sleep I can give up the bed to my dh for the rest of the trip and I can sleep on the crappy futon. No advice needed (except to remind me to keep trap shut) but wth? I watched as her husband sat at the table and asked why she hadn't brought his dessert out yet. she defers to her husband and thinks I'm selfish for not putting my dh's needs first. I'm quite pregnant with my third kid. I genuinely can't sleep on a bad futon. It will leave my back in enormous pain.