I bet most guys wouldn't have an issue with dating a larger woman or someone outside of their preferences if they felt a connection. But when asked directly in the survey, of course men would put that they prefer thin.

I'm petite and never had a shortage of dates, but pretty sure most men would prefer average height (5'4-5'7).

Anonymous wrote:Men contact me through online dating sites who state that they don't want kids and are not open to someone with kids. It clearly states that I have kids who live with me all of the time. My friend and I were talking about this and she chalks it up to men being NID (not into details). LOL! I'll say. If the guy seems normal, I will email him back. Within the first few emails, I let him know that I have kids and that they live with me 24/7. 90% of the time, I never hear from them again.

I think a lot of guys are just doing some kind of rapid "click + Ctrl V + submit" motion that allows them to hit up dozens of women in minutes.

Men contact me through online dating sites who state that they don't want kids and are not open to someone with kids. It clearly states that I have kids who live with me all of the time. My friend and I were talking about this and she chalks it up to men being NID (not into details). LOL! I'll say. If the guy seems normal, I will email him back. Within the first few emails, I let him know that I have kids and that they live with me 24/7. 90% of the time, I never hear from them again.

Anonymous wrote:Probably looking for late night booty call because they're too lazy to make an actual effort to find or make a connection with a woman.

FIFY

Probably looking for late night booty call after their failed nights out

Be careful, some men contact plus size women because they think they can treat them like shit and that they will be thankful for the pity lay. It's sick.

Guy here: in most cases, a preference is exactly that, a preference, not an absolute requirement. I'd keep my player radar up a bit, but would not recommend ruling guys out on this basis, and since your pictures are reasonably representative I wouldn't give it further thought.

Also, a lot of people post deceptive profile photos, so they might have determined that your photos are honest, and you still are attractive enough for them.

It's a common belief among male online daters that men need to cast a broad net and hit up large number of women at once, because so few women respond. If they spam 50 women at a time, maybe 5 will respond and then they can be picky about who to engage with.

Agree with other PPs - no need to reply to double check anything. They saw your photos, and (some) read your profile, and clearly they are interested in connecting with you, as you are. As long as your photos are accurately representative, which they are, then don't think twice about any of it. Now, it's your turn to decide whether or not you're interested in the guys that come your way. You sound really down to earth and fun, and I bet that is shining through in your profile and cute photos

If you've got representative pictures up, I'd go ahead and reply if you're interested. But if this is your first time online dating, be aware that many men message ALL the women with absolutely zero intentions, or only the intentions of getting laid. If that turns out to be the case with some of them, please don't think your size has ANY bearing on that.

Here's my experience: Many guys over my year or so of online dating go IMMEDIATELY to the sex after I respond to their polite, non-sexual first messages, or make plans and then never follow through. In my experience, it's a little less than 1/3 guys who ask me for a date, we never end up going on one. They just don't contact me the day of the date, or make up an excuse and then don't reschedule. I'm a size 8.

I wanted to say this because you're obviously conscious (but not self-conscious, which is awesome) about your size, and my BFF is a plus-size gal who was the same way. When shitty dates happened to her, she sometimes was prone to blame herself/her size, when, in my experience, that's not the case. Guys will flake on/only want sex from women of all proportions, especially online.

When I was young, I wanted a girl that was tall aND willowy. Now I'm OK with a girl that's short and willing.

Go ahead and respond. Most men aren't going to send a message unless they've checked out all the pictures.

I think as long as you have full body pictures, you are all set. They are clearly seeing those pictures and seeing that you are full figured and have no problem with it. Maybe the fact that you are active and do things like 5k's, etc., is ok with them. It's one thing to me plus size and lazy but clearly you are an active person and that must be appealing to them.

Would appreciate advice about whether and how to respond to men who contact me when they list preferred body types that don't match mine. I listed myself as "full figured"; I'm a size 18. Many men who are contacting me list their preference as "slender; athletic and toned; average". They themselves are athletic or average body types. Many specify that they take care of themselves and are looking for someone else who does as well (which I read as meaning no fat women).

In addition to choosing "full figured", I have flattering but representative pictures of myself, including several full body shots. I travel, I'm active, I just ran a 5K--my pictures show me doing activities I love, and they do show that I'm active--but fat.

I guess I'm afraid that if I meet up with one in person, despite having accurately represented myself in my profile, these guys are going to be displeased by seeing my dimensions in person. I'm not overly sensitive, but I don't want to waste my time and I don't want to feel hurt. Part of me wants to respond and make double sure they know I'm plus size--but that just seems defensive and negative.