Anonymous
06/29/2015 19:21
Subject: Re:chores--how much does it matter?
I disagree that kids should start chores when preteen or teen. If kids are in the habit of helping from 1-2 (yes, it's not really help, but that's not the point...), they never get out of the habit. Every child here has three chores per day, and of course they are different based on attention span and strength/ability. I posted a list a few days ago with examples from start of helping up to 11+. They're all things the kids actually do, and none of the kids takes more than 2 hours a day to do chores, and that's only if they are dragging their feet.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 19:17
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
Anonymous wrote:I do think that anyone can figure out basic chores as an adult. So, the purpose of involving kids when they are kids isn't to teach them how to do the tasks. The purpose is to teach them that everyone has a role to play in keeping the house running, that work is rewarded with pay (allowance/commission), that mom/dad are not their servants, that it's important to take care of the things we have, to practice doing a job well, etc. You can choose any, all or none of these. That's an individual decision for each family. But, the value of doing chores as a kid is not to learn the task....it's to learn something about personal and/or community responsibility.
I'm tinkering with this myself. Recently read and implemented the Dave Ramsey (commission based) approach. It worked well for my child who was begging for a tablet (i.e. he was motivated to work to earn $$... my 8 yr. old was teaching my 11 yr. old how to do laundry!). It's not working at all for my other child who wants nothing... she sees no reason to do any commission-based chores. I'm thinking of scrapping the Dave Ramsey chore chart and just setting expectations that the kids have to do certain tasks. I don't know how I'm going to set it up or how the $$ might come into play. I just know that the commission-based system doesn't work if your kid doesn't see a need to earn $$.
We use a variation of this. Basic chores are part of being the family. Extra things are how you earn money. We don't do allowance, so anything they want comes out of what they earn.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 19:15
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
Anonymous wrote:Make a list of skills your kids need in order to fuction successfully. Start checking things off that list. I think it's fine if you do the dishes most of the time, but they should know how to wash dishes by hand, how to load a dishwasher properly, etc.
My list would look a bit like this:
Finances:
how to create a budget
How to use a credit card
How to build savings
Personal:
How to schedule doctor/dentist appointments
How to obtain medical insurance and how insurance works (deductible, etc.)
How to treat basic wounds/burns at home
First aid/CPR
How to properly care for their bodies (bathing, brushing, flushing, etc.)
Basics of nutrition
Home:
how to do laundry
How to plan/shop for/prepare basic meals
How to keep their room tidy
How to clean a bathroom
How to clean up after a meal
Basics of food safety (how to thaw meat, avoid cross-contamination, etc.)
How to use a stove, oven, microwave
How to wash dishes and load a dishwasher
How to do basic housecleaning (dusting, windows, etc.)
Car:
How to change a tire
How to check oil
How to fill gas
There's more I am sure, but this is off the top of my head. Think of it as a countdown: how long until they have to actually practice this skill every day in addition to schoolwork, instruments, etc. (because that stuff gets more demanding in college; it doesn't disappear)? Right now my kids have 12 more years and we have checked off a few things on each list. If I were you, I would do something like every Saturday you pick one kid to teach on skill (clean the bathroom together, make dinner together, etc.) and do that until they have worked on a given skill on at least 10 different occasions. Then you can check it off the list.
I would add these to the car:
How to wash the windows without leaving streaks
How to change the air filter
How to add windshield washer fluid
How to check tire pressure
How to jump a battery
How to add coolant to the radiator
How to check oil and know when to add more (and that that would mean you have a leak)
How to change the oil filter
How to know when something is going wrong and have an idea of what to do (ie. when it's appropriate to find the nearest mechanic vs. adding water to the radiator until you can find a gas station or auto parts store)
My mom made sure I knew how to change the tire to the spare, could pump gas without it going everywhere and could change the oil. Some of the things that I listed (adding water to the radiator in an emergency) I learned on the fly, without or without learning the hard way and getting hurt.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 19:06
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
I think it is important that your kids feel that they are contributors and not guests.
Due to illness, we slacked off on what we asked regarding chores - homework and instrument took up so much of his limited time time. Right choice at the right time, but a year later and I'm not happy where we landed.
Due to illness, we slacked off on what we asked regarding chores - homework and instrument took up so much of his limited time time. Right choice at the right time, but a year later and I'm not happy where we landed.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 16:59
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
I think it's important for kids, starting in middle school probably, to do chores on a regular basis. Families require the contributions of all members (to echo a PP), and there's no reason preteens and teens can't load and unload a dishwasher, fold clothes, dust, sweep, vacuum, scrub a toilet/bathtub etc. - to say nothing of cleaning their own rooms.
I was an excellent student and was involved in a number of extracurricular activities. I also did chores. I thought that was the norm!
I was an excellent student and was involved in a number of extracurricular activities. I also did chores. I thought that was the norm!
Anonymous
06/29/2015 16:27
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
I was a very easy going kid who did chores when asked and never got away with not doing my chores. Thus I did dishes/laundry for at least 2 hours a night through high school.
My parents couldn't ever force my sister to do the dishes. It still burns that I had to do SO much more than she did.
My parents couldn't ever force my sister to do the dishes. It still burns that I had to do SO much more than she did.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 16:21
Subject: Re:chores--how much does it matter?
I have all my kids doing chores and have been doing so since they were young. At first it was to teach them. As they got older, I think it has had more to do with being considerate. Every single one of us has a lot on our plate - parents both have big jobs, kids all have school and activities. But, kids definitely have more free time than we do and in that situation, the considerate thing to do is to get the things done that need to be done. At this point, I rarely actually have to ask - I come home to the cat box having been cleaned, dishwasher unloaded, house vacuumed, laundry started, etc., just about every day.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 15:55
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
I don't think any tween can't find the time to take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, or do a load of laundry. I promise they're finding the time to text and watch inane videos.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 15:35
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
I do think that anyone can figure out basic chores as an adult. So, the purpose of involving kids when they are kids isn't to teach them how to do the tasks. The purpose is to teach them that everyone has a role to play in keeping the house running, that work is rewarded with pay (allowance/commission), that mom/dad are not their servants, that it's important to take care of the things we have, to practice doing a job well, etc. You can choose any, all or none of these. That's an individual decision for each family. But, the value of doing chores as a kid is not to learn the task....it's to learn something about personal and/or community responsibility.
I'm tinkering with this myself. Recently read and implemented the Dave Ramsey (commission based) approach. It worked well for my child who was begging for a tablet (i.e. he was motivated to work to earn $$... my 8 yr. old was teaching my 11 yr. old how to do laundry!). It's not working at all for my other child who wants nothing... she sees no reason to do any commission-based chores. I'm thinking of scrapping the Dave Ramsey chore chart and just setting expectations that the kids have to do certain tasks. I don't know how I'm going to set it up or how the $$ might come into play. I just know that the commission-based system doesn't work if your kid doesn't see a need to earn $$.
I'm tinkering with this myself. Recently read and implemented the Dave Ramsey (commission based) approach. It worked well for my child who was begging for a tablet (i.e. he was motivated to work to earn $$... my 8 yr. old was teaching my 11 yr. old how to do laundry!). It's not working at all for my other child who wants nothing... she sees no reason to do any commission-based chores. I'm thinking of scrapping the Dave Ramsey chore chart and just setting expectations that the kids have to do certain tasks. I don't know how I'm going to set it up or how the $$ might come into play. I just know that the commission-based system doesn't work if your kid doesn't see a need to earn $$.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 15:29
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
Make a list of skills your kids need in order to fuction successfully. Start checking things off that list. I think it's fine if you do the dishes most of the time, but they should know how to wash dishes by hand, how to load a dishwasher properly, etc.
My list would look a bit like this:
Finances:
how to create a budget
How to use a credit card
How to build savings
Personal:
How to schedule doctor/dentist appointments
How to obtain medical insurance and how insurance works (deductible, etc.)
How to treat basic wounds/burns at home
First aid/CPR
How to properly care for their bodies (bathing, brushing, flushing, etc.)
Basics of nutrition
Home:
how to do laundry
How to plan/shop for/prepare basic meals
How to keep their room tidy
How to clean a bathroom
How to clean up after a meal
Basics of food safety (how to thaw meat, avoid cross-contamination, etc.)
How to use a stove, oven, microwave
How to wash dishes and load a dishwasher
How to do basic housecleaning (dusting, windows, etc.)
Car:
How to change a tire
How to check oil
How to fill gas
There's more I am sure, but this is off the top of my head. Think of it as a countdown: how long until they have to actually practice this skill every day in addition to schoolwork, instruments, etc. (because that stuff gets more demanding in college; it doesn't disappear)? Right now my kids have 12 more years and we have checked off a few things on each list. If I were you, I would do something like every Saturday you pick one kid to teach on skill (clean the bathroom together, make dinner together, etc.) and do that until they have worked on a given skill on at least 10 different occasions. Then you can check it off the list.
My list would look a bit like this:
Finances:
how to create a budget
How to use a credit card
How to build savings
Personal:
How to schedule doctor/dentist appointments
How to obtain medical insurance and how insurance works (deductible, etc.)
How to treat basic wounds/burns at home
First aid/CPR
How to properly care for their bodies (bathing, brushing, flushing, etc.)
Basics of nutrition
Home:
how to do laundry
How to plan/shop for/prepare basic meals
How to keep their room tidy
How to clean a bathroom
How to clean up after a meal
Basics of food safety (how to thaw meat, avoid cross-contamination, etc.)
How to use a stove, oven, microwave
How to wash dishes and load a dishwasher
How to do basic housecleaning (dusting, windows, etc.)
Car:
How to change a tire
How to check oil
How to fill gas
There's more I am sure, but this is off the top of my head. Think of it as a countdown: how long until they have to actually practice this skill every day in addition to schoolwork, instruments, etc. (because that stuff gets more demanding in college; it doesn't disappear)? Right now my kids have 12 more years and we have checked off a few things on each list. If I were you, I would do something like every Saturday you pick one kid to teach on skill (clean the bathroom together, make dinner together, etc.) and do that until they have worked on a given skill on at least 10 different occasions. Then you can check it off the list.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 15:29
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
My younger kids do a lot of chores. In part because I anticipate they won't have enough time as teens so I'm making sure they learn now. I also don't want them to feel entitled. I see that among some of my younger colleagues and it's not good.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 15:25
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
I use summer as a time to get the kids more involved in chores. It gets them more familiar with the various tasks and more aware of the work that goes on behind the scenes by us parents. ("What?!? We have to change our sheets again?")
Anonymous
06/29/2015 15:18
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
It's important to me to live in a clean and fairly neat home. It's important to me that everyone who lives here contributes to those goals (yes, even though they're mine).
Also, I want them to be good guests when they're at friends houses. I don't want them to think it's okay to leave messes when they leave.
Also, I want them to be good guests when they're at friends houses. I don't want them to think it's okay to leave messes when they leave.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 15:18
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
There is a difference between knowing how (being able to) and doing it on a regular basis. My parents made sure that I knew how to do laundry, load the dishwasher, and prepare basic meals before I went to college. I never had chore charts though. Our "job" was to study, practice, and volunteer in the community. We took it seriously and devoted a ton of time and energy to those things.
When I got married and we purchased a house, I had no trouble adapting.
When I got married and we purchased a house, I had no trouble adapting.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 15:15
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
I am really struggling with how much of priority to place on my tweens doing/ learning chores. We have never been good about making the kids do dishes, laundry etc during the year because they have homework and musical instruments to practice. my attititude has been that they will learn how to take care of a house when they have one, but I do see a lot of chore charts etc when we visit other families. really struggling here as I don't care about doing the dishes myself (although I don't particularly like it either) , but don't want to raise kids who can't do any household work.