OP: Hang in there, and definitely keep your eye on the job market and network like crazy - no one will mind you doing that professionally - it is NOT taking advantage, as long as you aren't asking for anything above the "I'm in the market, so any advice or leads would be appreciated". I've had two good leads in the pipelines from just this type of activity (fingers crossed).

I also am in a job with a lot of behind the scenes politics which are affecting my own job satisfaction. I have to remind myself (by talking out loud in the car on my drive to work, like a crazy person) to keep my head down, get what I can out of it, and keep looking for other opportunities. I have also been looking out for some small projects I can join to make my day more interesting and which involve people outside the politics arena. Finally, I have set a drop-dead date of a year from now - I'll leave no matter what if things don't improve, and that also helps me get up on a Monday.

I really feel for you, OP, but read and re-read all the great advice and comments here and know that something will work out sometime - hopefully sooner rather than later (for both of us!)

I regret that I took a job that my gut told me wasn't right in terms of fit and in terms of what I was looking for longer term. I was so desperate for a change that I ignored several signs that this job, and even more, the company, was not where I wanted to be. Ended up leaving for another job after 18 months but was pretty miserable during that time. Silver lining is that I found a great job with a fantastic company (still here after four years) and I learned to trust my instincts about whether a job was worth taking.

Biggest job related regret is TAKING an offer too quick. I didn't know what I was getting into. People will lie to get your resume on a proposal. Then there is no work. Was naive and trusting. Big mistake in beltway bandits jobs around dc.

Never regretted NOT taking an offer.

Yep, the first day I stepped into the building of my new job at that time I knew I made a mistake. The tension was so thick but I tried to stick it out and in the end, ended up leaving after a year.

OP, so much of life is serendipity. There were two jobs I wanted - both people who were hired were gone within 15 months. Hated another job but it motivated me to go to grad school and I like where I can go with new credentials.

You Trusted your gut - you turned Down the job for a reason. You could have jumped from the frying pan into the fire.

Trust you gut again - something promising will come along.

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. The fact is you're not stuck. You made a decision about the potential job and probably for good reason - there's no guarantee that you would have been happier there given what were clearly reservations. But nonetheless, the experience hopefully showed you that you are a desirable candidate and, as importantly, probably clarified the things you're looking for in a new employer (and the things you don't want). This will help you land the job that you want down the road.

Next step is, when you're ready, start looking for new jobs. You will find the right one. Not a matter of if but when.

OP here again, thank you all!!!

These posts help so much. I was really feeling down and deflated.

But I've spent the morning preparing applications for a few jobs. They're all kinds of shots in the dark. One flat out said on the posting that they get large volumes of applications. But it's pretty much the only thing I can do.

I'm planning on touching base with a few people I know to get some feelers out. I've never been good at that sort of thing. I don't like people to feel like I'm using them. But it feels like such an impossibility to get your resume seen among the hundreds.

Hi OP,

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. The fact is you're not stuck. You made a decision about the potential job and probably for good reason - there's no guarantee that you would have been happier there given what were clearly reservations. But nonetheless, the experience hopefully showed you that you are a desirable candidate and, as importantly, probably clarified the things you're looking for in a new employer (and the things you don't want). This will help you land the job that you want down the road.

Next step is, when you're ready, start looking for new jobs. You will find the right one. Not a matter of if but when.

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm in the same situation you describe, except I didn't turn down a job. A job I (thought I)really wanted didn't work out, and I quickly realized that it was for the best, in the long run. In the short run, I'm still in my terrible job and horrible working environment, but I'm continuing to apply for other jobs and press on.

This happened to me - went to a new company that was a horrible fit. I knew from day 1 it wasn't the right place for me, after 6 months it had begun to wear on me mentally and emotionally. The feeling of dread would hit me as early as Saturday afternoon because I'd have to go back to work in a day and a half. I tried to go back to my old job, but a reorg theremade it impossible. I started applying to other companies, finally landed a position closer to home and for more money and I've happily been there for almost 8 years. I agree with another pp, Things have a way of working out on the long run. Good luck pp!

OP I'm in the same situation you describe, except I didn't turn down a job. A job I (thought I)really wanted didn't work out, and I quickly realized that it was for the best, in the long run. In the short run, I'm still in my terrible job and horrible working environment, but I'm continuing to apply for other jobs and press on.

Im old enough to know that jobs are like mates...there is not ONE perfect job for everyone. Some will be great fits, some won't. Some will look really incising but suck. Some will be perfect but come along at the wrong time. Some you will never know about, good or bad. Theres just so much chance, timing, right time wrong place, wrong place right time, etc that goes into these things. Something else is on its way OP no worries!

OP here. This is DCUM at its best. I really appreciate the posts. It helps to hear it.

I knew when turning it down that I'd regret it for many reasons. But I also knew that I'd feel regret it if I took it.

But I didn't realize that things would take such a dark turn at my current job. And that's what is causing me to panic and feel pangs of regret so strong I actually have moments where I feel like I just had a swift kick to the gut and I can't breathe.

Thank you for the positive posts. It helps.

There were times that I have turned down promotions where I thought "Wow, what am I thinking? I don't know if another opportunity this good will ever come along." Or times where I've had a bad team member, or a crazy boss, or some really sucky assignments. Or even a fight with a great boss.

It has ALWAYS worked out. Life just does work out, especially if you're ambitious and act toward what you want. We go through what I always refer to as "dark times" and I've always come through it.

It's not over 'til you're dead. I don't know if that is encouraging or sort of dark (maybe both?), but the long view is so helpful. Unfortunately it's much easier to have perspective looking back than forward. I'm 10 years into my career and have maybe 4 or 5 major "Oh shit" moments, and just in the last year have I gotten to the point where I don't freak out over them, I can more easily recognize that this too shall pass and I'm resourceful, I'll sort it out.

I find it's often good to take the long view. It's sounds hokey, but things often have a way of working out. I was in a horrible job, truly abusive. I did finally get out, but if I HADN'T had that job, there are some skills I wouldn't have been able to put on my resume, and it also helped me gain an understand on what kinds of things I did want out of a work environment. School of hard knocks, but I'm glad I had that job, despite the hell it put me through.
My husband had been dissatisfied with is job for the last 5 years. He applied and made it to final round of interviews twice. Didn't get the jobs. Was REALLY disappointed and depressed. However, if he had taken those jobs, there are some opportunities at the original job he wouldn't have had, new mentors he wouldn't have met, and ultimately when job opportunity #3 came around, it was a much, much better fit, and a better job situation overall. It took a while, but things worked out.
Just two examples, but I'm sure there are others. It will turn out okay for you, too, OP!

I turned down a job offer recently because it was low and some other concerns. I thought my current job, despite some issues, was still better. But things have quickly spiraled downward at my current job and now I feel stuck.

I'd really like some words of encouragement. I've been looking, but nothing seems to be on the horizon. I thought I was being a good advocate for myself. But now I think I just made a horrible mistake and am stuck in a bad situation that could even potentially get worse (way worse) due to behind-the-scenes issues I didn't even realize until now.

Anyone ever experience this and then have it turn out okay?