I've started paying for my mom's train ticket when she comes to visit. It's just a nice gesture. Wouldn't dream of doing it for my siblings (not to mention, mom is usually coming to help out as well as visit

Anonymous wrote:I can think of very few cases where I would pay for a family member's hotel costs. Why do you feel obligated? If I take my family to visit others, I always pay my own way.

This

Hiw old is BIL? If he's a college student or something, and you're well off, you could pay. If he's a grown man with a decent job and doing ok, then you'd be treating him as such to let him cover his own hotel costs. Paying for your in-laws seems like a respect issue and a way to pay back a bit of the support they've given your husband in the past.

I pay for a hotel room for my mom when we go on vacation, because she's on a fixed income. I wouldn't pay for my brother because he's working, just like I am.

I'm completely with you -- pay for the parents, but not for siblings (unless the dude is broke and couldn't afford to come otherwise, and you are well off and it won't matter to you).

I would pay for the in laws because of the elder respect thing for your husband's parents since they don't visit that often. I would not pay for BIL, SIL, etc.

Since BIL knows that you don't have extra room but still wants to come, then he should expect to pay for his own lodging. You should not feel obligated to have to pay for extended family unless you invited them and you know they can't afford it.

Anonymous wrote:If I were well off, I would pay for a nice hotel for them with a spa. And then I would book some spa treatments for MIL, mom, and me.

I think this would depend on your level of finances and your relationship with them. Because the most important point is this: Whatever you do becomes the precident. If you start with hotel+spa treatments, next time if you book the Quality Inn it could be awkward.

My il and Bil came for a baptism. Our house was full. Bil and his wife and kids don't have a lot of money. We paid for both hotel rooms. Some of the family stayed at our house so I felt that it would be unfair to have some stay with us for free and other pay for a hotel. It was for 1 or 2 nights. How long are they staying? I would pay but it also depends on their financial situation. Are they well off? I knew the hotel expenses may have strained that young family and I would have felt guilty.

Anonymous wrote:We're not that "well off" but we always pay for ILs hotel expense.

Including BILs and SILs or just the parents?

The suite with pull-out for BIL is an idea but I don't think he'd want to share a room with his parents...

I can think of very few cases where I would pay for a family member's hotel costs. Why do you feel obligated? If I take my family to visit others, I always pay my own way.

We're not that "well off" but we always pay for ILs hotel expense.

Pay for the hotel. It's cheaper for you than buying a home with a guest room and they've paid the expense of travel.

I would pay for a nice size hotel room where BIL could stay on a pullout or whatever if desired.

If I were well off, I would pay for a nice hotel for them with a spa. And then I would book some spa treatments for MIL, mom, and me.

We don't have a guest room because my parents are local and DH's parents live far away and don't visit often. I feel a little bad though that we can't host them when ILs do visit. Anyone routinely pay for the hotel in this situation? They're not poor but we're pretty well-off. If we do, is it okay not to pay for BIL's hotel? They're all coming to visit our new baby. I feel like paying for MIL and FIL is a respect-your-elders type thing. I just don't see the point of the gesture to BIL. Thoughts?