Anonymous
06/25/2015 11:04
Subject: Re:WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Talk to a lawyer. If was not of sound mind when he entered the marriage and if she is mismanaging his pension now that he is worse, you may be able to get a neutral third party to have power of attorney and be the executor for his pension. This isn't necessarily going to mean money goes to your mother but it could stop her from bleeding him dry and then you are left with two broke parents.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 11:01
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Anonymous wrote:Stop barking up this tree, OP. Your father is mentally gone and your mother is on her own. You need to find a solution for helping your mother that doesn't depend on your father's money.
The mistake was made when your mother failed to get a formal divorce agreement that would almost certainly have entitled her to some portion of his pension.
Where was your concern then?
I told her to do that. I did not expect him to remarry, but I did tell her to get a formal agreement. He was close to demented when he married her (she was his doctor).
He was very controlling and abusive when younger and my mother was afraid of him.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:45
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Your mother should have planned for her future better. Its too late now that she's 80, so there isn't much she can do except rely on you and other kids. These things happen all the time. She should have gotten married to your father or set up her own retirement accounts.
My father is 82, a widower and fairly wealthy. I don't think he would ever marry some random woman, but I do worry a little about this scenario if he ever becomes less capable. However, its his money.
My father is 82, a widower and fairly wealthy. I don't think he would ever marry some random woman, but I do worry a little about this scenario if he ever becomes less capable. However, its his money.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:43
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Talk to a lawyer who specializes in elder issues. Not to random jabroneys on the internet who don't know what they're talking about.
Is this a term from the specialized lawyer?
It is, in fact. Although not specializing in elder law.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:42
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Anonymous wrote:Talk to a lawyer who specializes in elder issues. Not to random jabroneys on the internet who don't know what they're talking about.
Is this a term from the specialized lawyer?
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:39
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Talk to a lawyer who specializes in elder issues. Not to random jabroneys on the internet who don't know what they're talking about.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:37
Subject: Re:WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
The situation sucks but I doubt you would win in court. They are married.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:36
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
If he had a diagnosis before marrying, you could argue that he was not capable of entering a legal contract like marriage. But I'd imagine your best bet is to let it go. Sorry, OP.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:34
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Stop barking up this tree, OP. Your father is mentally gone and your mother is on her own. You need to find a solution for helping your mother that doesn't depend on your father's money.
The mistake was made when your mother failed to get a formal divorce agreement that would almost certainly have entitled her to some portion of his pension.
Where was your concern then?
The mistake was made when your mother failed to get a formal divorce agreement that would almost certainly have entitled her to some portion of his pension.
Where was your concern then?
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:33
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Nothing you can do but help your mom in any way you can.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:30
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Anonymous wrote:Seriously? Woman, you and your mother need to get jobs.
Exactly! It is so easy for an 80 year old woman to go get a job. That's why when I go out and about on my errands to Target, the gas station, the library, the DMV and Whole Foods, why, the average age of all the people with jobs is probably 75-85 yrs.
That's exactly who's "getting jobs" these days.
(and the fact that you posted so quickly in the middle of a work day suggests that maybe you don't have a job yourself, hmmmm?)
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:21
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Seriously? Woman, you and your mother need to get jobs.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:21
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Anonymous wrote:Years ago I posted about my father who was borderline demented engaged to marry a gold digger woman. Everyone slammed me and said that I should let my father be happy and make my own money and stop worrying about an inheritance....
Fast forward and as expected she takes his $9000 monthly pension and gives the caretaker $500 a month and pays about $500 in other expenses. No other expenses since house is paid off. She ignores him (he is totally demented) and takes the money to buy herself a new car, pay off her son's debt, and pay for the son's wedding. Meanwhile, she cut my mother off. My parents had a loose, non legal, spousal support agreement. My father used to give my mother $3000 a month. THIS IS A MESS.
Now that my mother had to give up her house, we are thinking of suing. The marriage is 4 years along.
Any chance of winning?
Not a chance unless there's some kind of actual elder abuse going on (e.g., refusing to pay for basic needs). Otherwise his money is their money, and she's definitely not obligated to give it to his ex just because he was generous for so many years when there was not legal agreement.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:19
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
if they are married you can't do much
Anonymous
06/25/2015 10:18
Subject: WWYD, father's money being taken by new wife
Years ago I posted about my father who was borderline demented engaged to marry a gold digger woman. Everyone slammed me and said that I should let my father be happy and make my own money and stop worrying about an inheritance....
Fast forward and as expected she takes his $9000 monthly pension and gives the caretaker $500 a month and pays about $500 in other expenses. No other expenses since house is paid off. She ignores him (he is totally demented) and takes the money to buy herself a new car, pay off her son's debt, and pay for the son's wedding. Meanwhile, she cut my mother off. My parents had a loose, non legal, spousal support agreement. My father used to give my mother $3000 a month. THIS IS A MESS.
Now that my mother had to give up her house, we are thinking of suing. The marriage is 4 years along.
Any chance of winning?
Fast forward and as expected she takes his $9000 monthly pension and gives the caretaker $500 a month and pays about $500 in other expenses. No other expenses since house is paid off. She ignores him (he is totally demented) and takes the money to buy herself a new car, pay off her son's debt, and pay for the son's wedding. Meanwhile, she cut my mother off. My parents had a loose, non legal, spousal support agreement. My father used to give my mother $3000 a month. THIS IS A MESS.
Now that my mother had to give up her house, we are thinking of suing. The marriage is 4 years along.
Any chance of winning?