Out of curiosity--- how old is DSD?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am not sure why it is insane for me to think that my eight, nine, 10-year-old kids might not be comfortable sharing a bed. Again, my stepdaughter lives out of state. I don't understand why it would be more important to accommodate her comfort on the times when she is in town then to ensure that the children who are still minors are comfortable in their fathers home

All three are his kids. Maybe OP kids only sleep over one night a month and other daughter is there more. She isn't saying the entire situation.

Again, the twins live 10 minutes away from him and I would love for them to spend a few nights a week with him, as they ask often, but he keeps claiming that they can't because...any excuse he can come up with, including that he doesn't have a bed for them. SD lives in california and visits for two-four weeks total per year. When she is in town, she splits the time between ExDH and her mom's house. So max she will be there 14 nights per year, but he wants to accomodate her more than he wants his actual child-aged kids to be able to visit. Ugh. I guess the bed isn't the issue. Just one more example of him failing to prioritize the twins but going above and beyond to please DSD.

Anonymous wrote: I am not sure why it is insane for me to think that my eight, nine, 10-year-old kids might not be comfortable sharing a bed. Again, my stepdaughter lives out of state. I don't understand why it would be more important to accommodate her comfort on the times when she is in town then to ensure that the children who are still minors are comfortable in their fathers home

All three are his kids. Maybe OP kids only sleep over one night a month and other daughter is there more. She isn't saying the entire situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am not sure why it is insane for me to think that my eight, nine, 10-year-old kids might not be comfortable sharing a bed. Again, my stepdaughter lives out of state. I don't understand why it would be more important to accommodate her comfort on the times when she is in town then to ensure that the children who are still minors are comfortable in their fathers home

It's insane for you to think that there would be a *law* against it. Think it through.

I thought it might be worth checking. If not a law then a guideline or reccommendation. I was just hoping to have some other authority than my own to make the case.

Anonymous wrote:Buy 2 twin beds. An adult is perfectly capable of sleeping in a twin occasionally. Even more than occasionally.

There's probably not a law. But at some point, the kids are going to say that they don't enjoy going to dads because of X or Y. Why would he want to make sure his adult daughter is comfortable when she visits but is not concerned about the comfort of his younger children?

This is my feeling. (OP here). I know if he buys this bed now he will insist that he can't afford to replace it later and my kids will have to choose ebtween being uncomfortable when they visit and just not visiting. His older DD basically walks on water though, so he wants to impress her more than he wants his other kids to be happy visiting him. I want my kids to have a relationship with their dad and just think this is going to end up making them hesitant to visit. They are already starting to want more privacy and DS is AWFUL to share a bed with (kids like crazy).

You're not insane to be concerned about your children's comfort when visiting Dad. However, the law is typically silent on questions of rooming/sleeping arrangements for siblings. There are lots of rules & regulations for the same as it applies to foster children, but for families...not so much.

That said, this is very jurisdictional, and you would do better to address any legal questions to the lawyer who helped handle your divorce.

Signed, a completely non-qualified web developer.

Anonymous wrote: I am not sure why it is insane for me to think that my eight, nine, 10-year-old kids might not be comfortable sharing a bed. Again, my stepdaughter lives out of state. I don't understand why it would be more important to accommodate her comfort on the times when she is in town then to ensure that the children who are still minors are comfortable in their fathers home

It's insane for you to think that there would be a *law* against it. Think it through.

Buy 2 twin beds. An adult is perfectly capable of sleeping in a twin occasionally. Even more than occasionally.

There's probably not a law. But at some point, the kids are going to say that they don't enjoy going to dads because of X or Y. Why would he want to make sure his adult daughter is comfortable when she visits but is not concerned about the comfort of his younger children?

There's no law.

I am not sure why it is insane for me to think that my eight, nine, 10-year-old kids might not be comfortable sharing a bed. Again, my stepdaughter lives out of state. I don't understand why it would be more important to accommodate her comfort on the times when she is in town then to ensure that the children who are still minors are comfortable in their fathers home

He needs to buy two twins he can push together for the daughter.

Do you have a lawyer? That message coming from a lawyer might be more powerful.

There are no laws. It sounds like they are barely over his house but his house, his choice. I think its strange but if she is over more than they are, it makes sense to him. Toddler beds are not ok at 6.

For real? Of course there's not a law against that, that would be insane.

We have been separated for about 6 months. Have 6 1/2 yo bg twins. When we movednout of the shared house, I bought new beds for my house and offered DH the kids old beds (which were toddler beds but workable), or at least the mattresses. He refused both and instead kids sleep on old preschool nap mats on the floor on the occasions they stay over with him. He has an adult daughter from first marriage who lives out of state and he recently informed me that he is going to buy a queen-sized bed instead of twins or bunk beds because he wants a nice bed for her to sleep on when she visits. I feel that asking them to share a bed regularly beyond the next year or so is going to be really inappropriate. I don't want them to feel that they can't sleep at dad's because the sleeping arrangements make them uncomfortable. Are there laws about having opposite-gender kids in the same bed?