Anonymous wrote:Don't spend every waking moment with them even if you are sharing a house (poor planning on your part). Plan activities with your DH and kids everyday--walks on the beach, mini golf, fishing and figure out a rainy day activity. If the arguing makes you uncomfortable, grab the kids and take a walk.

I agree. Also, please be sure to invite your nephew on outings with your family so he gets a break from his parents. Maybe frame it to SIL and husband as "The kids would love some time with Jimmy and you two can hit the beach or do what you like while we take all the kids to play mini-golf" or whatever.

If you like SIL's company on her own, when she's not around her husband, find something for just you and her to do for an afternoon while the two dads take the kids somewhere. Or the dads go out to do something while you and SIL have the kids--whatever combination works and gives everyone a break. You can't do that stuff all the time, but you can set up some half-days where you are with your own family only, or you/your husband are with half of this bickering couple, or nephew is with you without his parents around.

Don't wing this stuff or you might flounder. Go online now and search for activities at the destination so you and your husband can have specific suggestions for things to do other that just a ton of hanging out time at home or at the beach. And do be sure your own family gets alone time without the other family.

Next year....lesson learned.

Well, your kids will get some insight into a bad marriage. And they will learn something.

Anonymous wrote:We are about to start our summer vacation with my SIL and her family. We have gone on vacation with them before, years ago when the kids were little, and fairly oblivious to the fact that my SIL and her husband fight a lot. Being with them for long periods of time always makes me uncomfortable, and if I had my choice we would not be vacationing together. But it's a done deal, and I'm wondering what I should tell my now older and more aware kids when the bickering and yelling start. This is not an abusive relationship, just an unhappy and loud one. And I feel sorry for my nephew, who's an only child and has to deal with their crazy all the time. Any good advice?

OP you don't like them and you don't want to be there. Try to make the best of it. What should you tell the kids? You tell them that you're going to make the best of the situation and will not be adding in your drama to theirs.

It's once a year, and I don't think seeing relatives argue is going to damage your child. At some point in their lives they are going to be exposed to people who argue. The question is whether your children enjoys time with the nephew, or whether the environment just ruins all the fun for him. Obviously it does not sound like fun for you, so that's something to consider as well.

If they start bickering in front of everyone, say "do you guys want to go for a walk? We will keep an eye on (nephew)" so they know you're not okay with the bickering in front of your kids.

But let it go...they don't have your relationship so you can't control theirs

Don't spend every waking moment with them even if you are sharing a house (poor planning on your part). Plan activities with your DH and kids everyday--walks on the beach, mini golf, fishing and figure out a rainy day activity. If the arguing makes you uncomfortable, grab the kids and take a walk.

We are about to start our summer vacation with my SIL and her family. We have gone on vacation with them before, years ago when the kids were little, and fairly oblivious to the fact that my SIL and her husband fight a lot. Being with them for long periods of time always makes me uncomfortable, and if I had my choice we would not be vacationing together. But it's a done deal, and I'm wondering what I should tell my now older and more aware kids when the bickering and yelling start. This is not an abusive relationship, just an unhappy and loud one. And I feel sorry for my nephew, who's an only child and has to deal with their crazy all the time. Any good advice?