Anonymous
06/19/2015 17:06
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
^ having reread my post above - I do say - maybe not really freshmen year!
Anonymous
06/19/2015 17:04
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
Mom ~ you go to them.
You make visits to where they are - staying in a hotel, and not expecting very much of their time - a few meals out - at their convenience. Find things to do in their college area. Explore. And yes you drop the mother-role to a large degree. These kids will be adults. You should try to transition to a relationship that's a little more peer-to-peer. You won't be needed as before, but you are loved and will be enjoyed.
You make visits to where they are - staying in a hotel, and not expecting very much of their time - a few meals out - at their convenience. Find things to do in their college area. Explore. And yes you drop the mother-role to a large degree. These kids will be adults. You should try to transition to a relationship that's a little more peer-to-peer. You won't be needed as before, but you are loved and will be enjoyed.
Anonymous
06/19/2015 16:34
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
I was miserable for about 24 hours when my only son went off to school. Then I realized I could see a movie, call a friend, go out for dinner, read a book, go to the gym, watch TV all night....and nobody expected anything of me, was rude to me, asked for dinner, worried me with late nights, unfinished homework.....I work during the day but I have loved having so much freedom every night. Totally unexpected. Helps that DS was happy away at school too.
Anonymous
06/19/2015 16:34
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
I was miserable for about 24 hours when my only son went off to school. Then I realized I could see a movie, call a friend, go out for dinner, read a book, go to the gym, watch TV all night....and nobody expected anything of me, was rude to me, asked for dinner, worried me with late nights, unfinished homework.....I work during the day but I have loved having so much freedom every night. Totally unexpected. Helps that DS was happy away at school too.
Anonymous
06/19/2015 10:51
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
The summer before college is an interesting time. The parent wants to see e child more often, while the child wants to be with their friends every.available.moment. It's actually easier once they are in college-you don't expect to see them until fall break,Thanksgiving etc. Next summer,when they both come home, will be another time of transition. To the OP, this is all a totally normal phase.
Anonymous
06/19/2015 10:45
Subject: Re:I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
Hugs, OP. Please know that this is a natural transition in life and it is a good thing. Yes, take this summer as a glimpse into your future. What do you want to do next? How can you reconnect with your DH? This is your time now.
Anonymous
06/19/2015 09:49
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
OP when I went away to college was when my parents moved from being "parents" to being "friends". I think it was when I first started seeing my parents as on the same level as me, fellow adults and close friends. My mom made the transition easy, my dad still tried to parent me for a few more years. I'm extremely close to both of them now and I think it's from how they handled the college transition.
Anonymous
06/19/2015 09:47
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
OP, I'm in the same situation. While I agree it's a little bittersweet, you should also be very proud that you've gotten your kids to this point and they're clearly independent and ready to launch! I'm a little nostalgic myself, but also very excited to start the next chapter in my life. It's wonderful to be in a position where you can reinvent yourself (if you want) or engage in new interests, or just about anything. Embrace this time! 
Anonymous
06/19/2015 09:28
Subject: Re:I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
It is tough, OP, especially since you are losing both at the same time. Most of us have one child leave and then a few years later the other leaves.
Think about what you want to do with the rest of your life. This is a great opportunity to put plans in place.
Think about what you want to do with the rest of your life. This is a great opportunity to put plans in place.
Anonymous
06/19/2015 08:37
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
The slow pulling away is almost harder than when they are actually gone. Start getting into hobbies, making plans, or even getting a part time job now so that it's easier when they go off to college. I love the suggestion of a couples hobby!
Anonymous
06/19/2015 08:31
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
Get a couples hobby. Ballroom dancing is awesome!!
Anonymous
06/19/2015 08:31
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
Catch up with friends and I would definitely be planning some sort of trip with DH for when the kids are at school. Have something to look forward to!
Anonymous
06/19/2015 08:29
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
Find a hobby. Call friends for lunch and dinner plans. Find part-time work. Take weekend trips with your husband. It's time to get a life back.
Anonymous
06/19/2015 08:28
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
Have you thought about getting a job? Something new to keep you busy?
My kids are younger (12 to 16) but i already am anxious at night about it all being over. No regrets just pure sadness.
My kids are younger (12 to 16) but i already am anxious at night about it all being over. No regrets just pure sadness.
Anonymous
06/19/2015 08:21
Subject: I am getting the first pangs of "Empty Nest"
I have been the SAHM to my twins since they were born. They are seventeen and rising seniors in high school. This summer DD is in Europe in a language intensive but I thought I would have some quality time to spend with DS. Not what he had in mind - DS between working a summer job, doing volunteer work and spending time with his girlfriend - I haven't seen him for more than five minutes in the last week.
DH and I eat our dinners alone and go to bed with both of my children out of the house. I feel so depressed and lost. This is what next year is going to feel like when they are both off to college.
What now? There doesn't seem to be much of a point in cooking/baking when it is just for DH and me. The house doesn't even get that messy anymore. My job is unofficially over, isn't it?
If this is what next year is going to feel like, I have to start making plans now or I will be a wreck.
DH and I eat our dinners alone and go to bed with both of my children out of the house. I feel so depressed and lost. This is what next year is going to feel like when they are both off to college.
What now? There doesn't seem to be much of a point in cooking/baking when it is just for DH and me. The house doesn't even get that messy anymore. My job is unofficially over, isn't it?
If this is what next year is going to feel like, I have to start making plans now or I will be a wreck.