Not the OP, but a followup question. Does this kind of favoritism/politicking extend to high school sports? Do the high school coaches actually pick and play the best players? Do we just need to stick out the nonsense in Little League to get to a system that is more equitable?

Even at that early age, some coaches have visions of prepping the kids in the same school for the high school team. But if it's not this, there will always be something. Lots of parents politic very heavily with sports whether its parent or professional coached. It doesn't even totally go away when your son becomes too good to be ignored. The good news is he'll come out of it with stronger character. But don't leave making a switch too long in favor of a never ending life lesson if he continues to make no headway with the coach. Reps are important and so is recognizing how it feels to be part of a better situation. There's no reason at that age for players not to be able to play different positions, A golden rule we were told is "Go to the best team where you'll play".

At this age parent coaches start to freak out that they have 2-3 more seasons to get their child ready for HS sports. It's irrational, but you can't change them.

Change teams. Teach your child you do not stick around in a bad situation.

This is why most of us go travel around this age.

My team this season behaved in similar fashion, but if my kid was really into the sport as yours is, I would get involve with the coaching end of it. Baseball culture tend to be very cliquish, It's hard to break into the clique if you were not part of the team since T-ball. My kid played a position he hated all season long, but I really couldn't say anything because I did very little than attend the games and take my kid to practice.

I am sorry. This sucks. The world isn't fair and you can not ensure that your son gets a fair shake. Coaches are human and subject to their own concious and unconcious bias. I've been in your shoes and definately felt my kid was overlooked and it stinks. However, trying to fix it will in all liklihood make it worse for your son.

You and your son have to decide whether you will a) accept the fact that this coach plays favorites but stay becasue he likes to play with this team or b) move on for greener pasture. If you do say anything to the coach I would wait at least 3 days until your emotions have cooled. Then, I would encourage your SON to email the coach expressing his disappointment that he wasn't recognized and asking how he can improve to meet the all star criteria next season.

I suggest you reframe the favoritisim as an opporunity for your son to learn some grit. He should take pride in the fact that he works hard not because he's recognized as an All Star but because he gives it his all no matter what. The team does have an interest in developing other pitchers and sometimes individual goals are sacraficed for team goals. No coaches are perfect. If your son likes this coach and you choose to stay on the tem, try to support him as much as possible.

Finally, when something similar happened to my DD, we made the coveted award a bit of a joke in our family to take the sting out of the situtaiton. Something akin to calling each other "All Stars" whenever you blow your top "Ha Ha." A sense of humor helps heal all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to volunteer to coach or make friends with them. It's not all about skills, same with life #LifeLessons

OP here. Yeah, DH and I are not baseball coaching material. That's why we contribute to the team in other ways. And we are friendly with the other parents -- we just don't see them outside of baseball because we aren't in the same school district. Little League should not be limited to kids whose parents know enough about baseball to coach.

Yes, but that is life, especially in this town. If you want your child to have the best chances, you need to be involved in the "politics". Not saying it is right or wrong, but there it is. Also you don't have to coach, just get involved.

Her DH does field maintenance and helps at practice and she scores the games. Those are two important ways to be "involved."

OP, what scoring system do you use? Are you keeping a paper book? I recommend looking at Gamechanger. It's a good way to keep the stats cumulative and help illustrate your points about how players are performing.

Yes, we keep a paper book. Thanks for your recommendation -- I will look into Gamechanger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to volunteer to coach or make friends with them. It's not all about skills, same with life #LifeLessons

OP here. Yeah, DH and I are not baseball coaching material. That's why we contribute to the team in other ways. And we are friendly with the other parents -- we just don't see them outside of baseball because we aren't in the same school district. Little League should not be limited to kids whose parents know enough about baseball to coach.

Yes, but that is life, especially in this town. If you want your child to have the best chances, you need to be involved in the "politics". Not saying it is right or wrong, but there it is. Also you don't have to coach, just get involved.

Her DH does field maintenance and helps at practice and she scores the games. Those are two important ways to be "involved."

OP, what scoring system do you use? Are you keeping a paper book? I recommend looking at Gamechanger. It's a good way to keep the stats cumulative and help illustrate your points about how players are performing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to volunteer to coach or make friends with them. It's not all about skills, same with life #LifeLessons

OP here. Yeah, DH and I are not baseball coaching material. That's why we contribute to the team in other ways. And we are friendly with the other parents -- we just don't see them outside of baseball because we aren't in the same school district. Little League should not be limited to kids whose parents know enough about baseball to coach.

Yes, but that is life, especially in this town. If you want your child to have the best chances, you need to be involved in the "politics". Not saying it is right or wrong, but there it is. Also you don't have to coach, just get involved.

This is the way any parent coach team works, to varying degrees, irrespective of sport. Some are better than others at being even-handed, but I have yet to see a parent coach that doesn't favor his/her child and his/her friends on the team in some way. Nothing you can say will change the way this particular coach acts towards the team.

Anonymous wrote:You need to volunteer to coach or make friends with them. It's not all about skills, same with life #LifeLessons

OP here. Yeah, DH and I are not baseball coaching material. That's why we contribute to the team in other ways. And we are friendly with the other parents -- we just don't see them outside of baseball because we aren't in the same school district. Little League should not be limited to kids whose parents know enough about baseball to coach.

You need to volunteer to coach or make friends with them. It's not all about skills, same with life #LifeLessons

Ha! I can definitely see this happening. Sometimes it isn't so much favoritism as the coach just sees things in a certain way. Or has a bias based on the style of pitching they like. This happens on my son's team. Where are you? Maybe time to try out for a team that isn't parent coached?

Anonymous wrote:In our fastpitch softball league (not affiliated with LL), all-star selection criteria is pretty transparent and dictated by each individual team. Being the best player is not necessarily the most important thing. Each player and each coach gets a vote, and the top vote-getters get the slots.

For travel select team, however, there are tryouts, and they're not necessarily the same coaches as House.

Sounds like you need a different team in any case.

OP here. There was no voting in our case -- the head coach just picked the All-Star players. Presumably the All-Star teams are supposed to be the best players.

In our fastpitch softball league (not affiliated with LL), all-star selection criteria is pretty transparent and dictated by each individual team. Being the best player is not necessarily the most important thing. Each player and each coach gets a vote, and the top vote-getters get the slots.

For travel select team, however, there are tryouts, and they're not necessarily the same coaches as House.

Sounds like you need a different team in any case.

I am becoming increasingly frustrated with the favoritism parental politicking in our Little League Baseball League. My son is 10 and is a good baseball player. His pitching, hitting, and fielding record ranks at least in the top 3 players on his team. He has the best hitting record on the team. He works hard, and is never late to practice or a game. My husband volunteers to help maintain the field, and helps out at practice, and I contribute by keeping score and planning team celebrations. (I mention this only to illustrate that we contribute to the team.)

DS rarely got a chance to pitch this season, because the coach had a roster of pitchers he said he wanted to develop. All of these kids were the sons of the coaches, or the friends of the sons of the coaches. They all go to the same school and are in the same class. (DS and a few of the other kids go to a different school.) Statistically, my son is a better pitcher, with more strikes thrown, and fewer walks. He has politely asked the coach if/when he can pitch, and has been repeatedly brushed off, even when he pitches very well when given the chance.

This year 4 kids on the team were picked for the All-Stars, but my son was not. Statistically, he has a better record than 3 of the kids. One kid picked never hit the ball the entire season and never pitched. Another was thrown out two games for yelling at the umpire, and fights with players on the opposing team. (Bad sportsmanship.) All of the kids picked were sons of the coaches or team manager.

DS is really upset, and so am I. I am considering asking the head coach what the criteria is for All-Stars, which I know will back him into a corner, since he's obviously not using performance or even sportsmanship as the criteria. We could just ask for a different coach next season, but to some degree this kind of favoritism is standard for the league -- this team was just the worst we have encountered. How can we help ensure DS has a chance to excel and doesn't just want to give up because other kids keep getting chances he doesn't?