Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.

Meh, more likely attachment issue than ODD. - signed, an adoptive mom

She has a diagnosis in hand. Take your arm chair dismissiveness and leave. Retread her post and then yours. Unempathetic, unhelpful, and rude...starting at your first word. You being an adoptive mom of A kid doesn't make you an expert in HER kid.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.

Meh, more likely attachment issue than ODD. - signed, an adoptive mom

She has a diagnosis in hand. Take your arm chair dismissiveness and leave. Retread her post and then yours. Unempathetic, unhelpful, and rude...starting at your first word. You being an adoptive mom of A kid doesn't make you an expert in HER kid.

Because no diagnosis has ever been wrong? As an adoptive mom, I have seen plenty of therapist with not enough experience with adoption make an alphabet of diagnosis and be wrong. And yes, attachment issues can be present even when a child is adopted as an infant.

You can have attachment issues and also have a diagnosis for ODD. The two aren't mutually exclusive. The labels don't matter nearly as much as the behavior.

True. But as a pp pointed out ODD will usually have anxiety as an underlying cause and the anxiety can have attachment as the underlying cause. In all adopted children, it's best to first look attachment and rule that out as an issue or rule it in and treat it, then move on to treating the other conditions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.

Meh, more likely attachment issue than ODD. - signed, an adoptive mom

I was thinking the same thing. If OP didn't get the diagnosis from a therapist who specializes in adoption issues, I'd at least read up on attachment issues, including but not limited to reactive attachment disorder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.

Meh, more likely attachment issue than ODD. - signed, an adoptive mom

She has a diagnosis in hand. Take your arm chair dismissiveness and leave. Retread her post and then yours. Unempathetic, unhelpful, and rude...starting at your first word. You being an adoptive mom of A kid doesn't make you an expert in HER kid.

Because no diagnosis has ever been wrong? As an adoptive mom, I have seen plenty of therapist with not enough experience with adoption make an alphabet of diagnosis and be wrong. And yes, attachment issues can be present even when a child is adopted as an infant.

You can have attachment issues and also have a diagnosis for ODD. The two aren't mutually exclusive. The labels don't matter nearly as much as the behavior.

I agree that the OP should make sure she is getting a dx from an adoption competent provider to make sure it's not attachment related. But if it is true ODD, there are many studies out there now that ODD is an anxiety disorder, and treating underlying anxiety can improve things a fair bit. I would explore that for the longer term while getting the Kadzin book for immediate help.

Teen years can be hard for any kid, but it is unrealistic to think that being adopted with three natural siblings is probably not a factor as this boy defines his identity. OP and DH are on the right track in finding a competent therapist for their son and they, too, will need some counseling in how to work with him during the turbulence which can come wit ODD. My sister's middle child was adopted and about the same age she had some a really difficult time - imagine also being the only adopted grandchild of 20 youngsters, most of whom lived in the immediate area. Her folks actually moved school districts in the Boston area to be sure she got the services she needed. She is now mid-20s, college grad and very well settled as a person, but it was a bumpy period for a time as a teen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.

Meh, more likely attachment issue than ODD. - signed, an adoptive mom

She has a diagnosis in hand. Take your arm chair dismissiveness and leave. Retread her post and then yours. Unempathetic, unhelpful, and rude...starting at your first word. You being an adoptive mom of A kid doesn't make you an expert in HER kid.

Because no diagnosis has ever been wrong? As an adoptive mom, I have seen plenty of therapist with not enough experience with adoption make an alphabet of diagnosis and be wrong. And yes, attachment issues can be present even when a child is adopted as an infant.

She isn't asking if you think the diagnosis is wrong. You also don't say perhaps it could be something else or were other diagnoses explored! You say it is,"most likely" an attachment issue. You have NO idea if that is true. Also, starting a response to her clearly heartfelt post with, "meh" is rude and dismissive. Hope you are warmer in real life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.

Meh, more likely attachment issue than ODD. - signed, an adoptive mom

She has a diagnosis in hand. Take your arm chair dismissiveness and leave. Retread her post and then yours. Unempathetic, unhelpful, and rude...starting at your first word. You being an adoptive mom of A kid doesn't make you an expert in HER kid.

Because no diagnosis has ever been wrong? As an adoptive mom, I have seen plenty of therapist with not enough experience with adoption make an alphabet of diagnosis and be wrong. And yes, attachment issues can be present even when a child is adopted as an infant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.

Meh, more likely attachment issue than ODD. - signed, an adoptive mom

She has a diagnosis in hand. Take your arm chair dismissiveness and leave. Retread her post and then yours. Unempathetic, unhelpful, and rude...starting at your first word. You being an adoptive mom of A kid doesn't make you an expert in HER kid.

Retread

. Ugh...autocorrect. Reread

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.

Meh, more likely attachment issue than ODD. - signed, an adoptive mom

She has a diagnosis in hand. Take your arm chair dismissiveness and leave. Retread her post and then yours. Unempathetic, unhelpful, and rude...starting at your first word. You being an adoptive mom of A kid doesn't make you an expert in HER kid.

Retread

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.

Meh, more likely attachment issue than ODD. - signed, an adoptive mom

She has a diagnosis in hand. Take your arm chair dismissiveness and leave. Retread her post and then yours. Unempathetic, unhelpful, and rude...starting at your first word. You being an adoptive mom of A kid doesn't make you an expert in HER kid.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.

Meh, more likely attachment issue than ODD. - signed, an adoptive mom

OP,

The Kazdin Method was written based on research done with kids with ODD. It's evidence based and is actually in parenting any kind of kid.

You may be able to take a class specifically on this method. A behavioral therapist would probably able to help. CHADD often has helpful online classes and support meetings. (There will be some similarities for kids with ODD and ADHD.)

Agree with PP. The SN forum may have additional resources.

Join us over on special needs.

Tough stuff. My 5 yo nearly made diagnostic criteria for ODD. It's a hard road.

Anyone have experience parenting an ODD DS (14)? Newly diagnosed and we are floored in some ways but not surprised in others. Oldest, adopted with three younger sibs (all birth kids who are relatively easier). Minor depression but no other issues diagnosed. Help.