Yes staring at 8 we began with gift cards from a place my child says his friend likes with a homemade card.

Cash seems to be the trend for that age group where I live!

It's fine. I stopped buying gifts for the kids that I don't really know. I get a gift card for TRU or Target. Sometimes I buy a nice card to hold the gift card, other times my kids want to make a card for their friend using one of the free card-making websites (it's great fun for a creative kid.)

Having a son who just went through that stage, cash if great. Some of them actually have something in mind they are saving for.

Well first, 20-25 seems high for a classmate. Second , don't wrap, use gift bags.

But if you don't want to get a gift, how about a gift card to an ice cream shop or the movies.

Anonymous wrote:Unless it is a Barnes and Noble gift card, my kids don't pick anything I want, I give them categories and sometimes specifics of what they are allowed. I appreciate the thought that goes into gifts, and I'm fine when some of the kids bring $3-7 small lego sets; actually the kids get a kick out of those, because they get more figures to go with all the buildings. There are two kids that come to our parties and never bring anything, and we don't worry about it. Because we don't open presents while the kids are there so that the other kids stand around bored, nobody else realizes that those two don't bring gifts, and my kids don't care, they just enjoy time with their friends and family. There's too much emphasis on gifts, so my kids don't return duplicates and get something else, they put them in the bag in the closet to donate to toys for tots at Christmas.

anything *they* want

Unless it is a Barnes and Noble gift card, my kids don't pick anything I want, I give them categories and sometimes specifics of what they are allowed. I appreciate the thought that goes into gifts, and I'm fine when some of the kids bring $3-7 small lego sets; actually the kids get a kick out of those, because they get more figures to go with all the buildings. There are two kids that come to our parties and never bring anything, and we don't worry about it. Because we don't open presents while the kids are there so that the other kids stand around bored, nobody else realizes that those two don't bring gifts, and my kids don't care, they just enjoy time with their friends and family. There's too much emphasis on gifts, so my kids don't return duplicates and get something else, they put them in the bag in the closet to donate to toys for tots at Christmas.

They all start doing this around fourth-sixth grade. Usually gift cards, sometimes cash.

My son's friends put the thought into the cards. They try to out do one another with humor. Last year it was unicorns, rainbows and Frozen. Before that, body humor. Middle school is more nuanced and actual wit.

Let him pick the card. I just take mine to the card aisle and let him have at it.

Anonymous wrote:Let me dissent here.
Yuk.

You should teach your son how to pick out a thoughtful gift.

Instead you are teaching your kids to throw money at everything,

OP here, I get what you're saying. He certainly helped me with the above from ages 2 and onward, so that box is definitely checked. Nowadays, he and kids his age seem to get more excited about earning cash and receiving cash, so that they can have the independence for buying what they really want. Thus the reason why I'm over doing the obligatory gift shopping at Target, etc.

Let me dissent here.
Yuk.

You should teach your son how to pick out a thoughtful gift.

Instead you are teaching your kids to throw money at everything,

My kids are 10 and 11 and for a couple years now I've been giving either a target gift card or a movie theater gift card.

I think it's fine too. If you didn't want to do cash, you could do a gift card.

Amazon brings all this stuff to our house.

I think it's totally fine, and my kid would likely be very excited about it.

At that age, I think that's great.

My son is almost 10, and I've decided I'm sick of going through the laborious task of going to Walmart, Target, wherever, finding a $20-25 gift, buying the wrapping paper and cards, doing all of the work with putting it together, and so forth. I've decided, to hell with it, birthday kid gets $20-25 in cash, son signs a generic birthday card, and we're done. Frankly, I wouldn't mind if fellow parents did that for my son's eventual birthday.

Am I being too cheapL tacky? How many more water guns, action figures, bey blades, and Pokemon cards could his friends possibly need, anyways?

I'll still do the toy gifts for my younger two kids' friends (7, 4), but it's cash here on out for kids turning 9+.