Maybe she's concerned for her son and worried that you'll never work again.

Anonymous wrote:How close are you with her? Why don't you just ask her why she keeps asking?

Say something like "I've noticed you keep asking me about working, even though I have been clear about not returning to work. Is there something that is concerning you that you want to talk about or something? I have made my decision and I'm sure it's not the right decision for everyone but it is for me. You can be the first to know if anything changes."

It's none of MIL's business to know anything more than what you've told her. Are you asking her to explain her life choices and expect her to tell you first if she changes her mind?

She might be curious. She might be trying to gauge how long you plan to sah. She might be trying to get a sense of whether you're hsppy in you're new role. She might believe women should work. The constant questions might be annoying, but they wouldn't really bother me beyond that. She's entitled to her opinion, if she has one. You don't need to give it weight when deciding how to live your life.

Anonymous wrote:How close are you with her? Why don't you just ask her why she keeps asking?

Say something like "I've noticed you keep asking me about working, even though I have been clear about not returning to work. Is there something that is concerning you that you want to talk about or something? I have made my decision and I'm sure it's not the right decision for everyone but it is for me. You can be the first to know if anything changes."

OP here. We are not really close but I like this, I might try it. I do wonder why she keeps asking which is part of why it bothers me. I always check in with my husband afterwards to make sure he is happy with the arrangement, etc. I am not a big spender or anything and I think I take good care of my child so I don't know where it is coming from. If I went back to my old job I would be working 12 hour days and traveling a lot, I was a lawyer. To the PP who suggested that she is concerned about me, I can assure you that she is not! I do wonder if she liked telling people that her son is married to a lawyer, she is kind of like that.

One of the pp's again

Yes, I do get this, and it makes me rethink my decision not to tell them I have a trust fund that interest alone matches what my DH makes. Since they obviously think I'm leeching off him lol

It's annoying, but I keep referring them to DH to explain he's happy with the arrangement

I would find that beyond annoying. But what can you do? Just take it in stride

You are most likely not misinterpreting and she is unable to keep her concerns about you not working to herself.

Your options are to deal with it head on yourself ("MIL, you seem really concerned about me not working with all these questions) or have DH talk to her.

Personally I do a combination of the two, and direct my MIL to my husband (MIL, you seem really concerned about me not working with all these questions lately. We've told you I'm staying home, do you need to talk to DH more about tbis since I'm not able to help you understand?)

How close are you with her? Why don't you just ask her why she keeps asking?

Say something like "I've noticed you keep asking me about working, even though I have been clear about not returning to work. Is there something that is concerning you that you want to talk about or something? I have made my decision and I'm sure it's not the right decision for everyone but it is for me. You can be the first to know if anything changes."

Honestly it used to bother me. Then I realized this is my choice and if someone else takes issue with it, thats on their own insecurity. My last is about to enter kindergarten and I don't intend to go work, I am sure I will get questions about it again - this time it just won't bother me. I'll happily strike up a conversation with all the ways I'm going to fill my time while she is in school

Also I agree, have your DH talk to his mother.

I worked out of the house full time when I had my first. My MIL was always asking - "don't you want more time off" "can you afford to stay home" etc. People just ask dumb questions when they don't understand your decision. It's annoying. Be firm and try to politely end the questioning - "Sally, I really enjoy staying at home and that's my plan for the foreseeable future. When you ask me all the time I feel like you're unhappy with my decision, but I assure you that I am happy with it".

Anonymous wrote:You MIL is concerned about you. Don't take it personally. She's had more experience being a mom.

Ha! Good one, pp.

Time for your DH to step in and tell his parents to knock it off.

You MIL is concerned about you. Don't take it personally. She's had more experience being a mom.

I experienced this with my mother, to some extent. My ILs are very gracious people and don't harass anyone.

It wouldn't bother me. I would just keep on saying No, quite bluntly, and would ignore the implied criticism.

I have one 18 month old and MIL constantly asks me if I'm going back to work with different variations of the same question. Do you miss work? No. Has your old job contacted you about going back? No. Do you want to go back? No. Will you ever go back? No. Would they take you back if you wanted to? I don't know. I am so tired of these questions. Am I being too sensitive? I had a very demanding job and we are in good shape financially partially because I saved tons of money when I was working. Does anyone else experience this from their inlaws?