Anonymous wrote:Op - so I spoke with our kg teacher, without giving her any names of the girls, and she suggested not asking for a switch - bc it's a very organized camp - lots of activities - and the total group of kids is 12-14/group. She says that if I'm really concerned, I should talk to the other parent to figure out if we can encourage them to be friends..
Thoughts?

NP, and I think you should think about what you want to model for your daughter. I actually dealt with a similar situation in my DD's school because when classes were announced, she was in class with someone who had been a source of real problems for her the year before. I requested a change, which was a bummer because DD's best friend was also in the class, but this year is almost done and I'm SO GLAD I did it. I've heard parents complaining about the other child's behavior in the other class.

What I feel I modeled for my DD is that when someone is really making you sad or uncomfortable, it's not your job to get along with them. It's your job to find other people to play with and hang out with, people who make you feel good about your time with them. Me, I don't think you should reach out to the other girl's mom. It's camp - I'd just request the change and leave it at that. There are no guarantees there won't be different mean girls in your DD's group at camp, but at least she won't be dealing with someone who has already made her unhappy enough she wants to quit the Daisies.

What do you want your DD to learn from this OP? What action do you think you should take (or not take) in order to model that lesson?

What is kg?

Op - so I spoke with our kg teacher, without giving her any names of the girls, and she suggested not asking for a switch - bc it's a very organized camp - lots of activities - and the total group of kids is 12-14/group. She says that if I'm really concerned, I should talk to the other parent to figure out if we can encourage them to be friends..
Thoughts?

Sorry to hear that your daughter is going through that with the other girls. Have you thought about calling the camp, explaining the situation, and letting them determine what options might work best? Praying for the best outcome for your DD.

mommato2lilmonkeys

I'd let it be.

If they do end up in the same camp group, I would have a brief and private conversation with the group's counselor at the start of camp. Without being overly dramatic, I'd let him/her know that the two girls sometimes get along and sometimes have conflict when they're together. Then I'd ask that he/she keep an eye on them to see how they're doing, and let him/her know you'll touch base in a day or two to see how it's going.

Hopefully they do well together without the third girl in the mix. If so, this will be a great lesson for your DD. That sometimes friendships work themselves out and that people can learn to make better choices and be nicer friends.

Finally, if they are able to do well together in camp, it may put things on a better path once all three girls are back together in Daisys, and it may help DD avoid anchoring on the social drama these girls previously put into play.

Of course, if the other girl is unkind or mean at camp, by all means work with the counselor to find ways to resolve it, including switching someone's group if necessary.

You could go ahead and call the camp to be safe, but given how young the kids are, it is entirely possible that the girls will get along better in a different setting without the other "queen bee" girl there. So call the camp and see what they say, but if the switch doesn't work, the dynamic may work better than you think.

Anonymous wrote:It is camp, not school meaning you are paying for it and it should be fun for your daughter! By all means, call them and put her with her friend!

+1. A camp will not want two kids grouped together with this dynamic anyway.

It is camp, not school meaning you are paying for it and it should be fun for your daughter! By all means, call them and put her with her friend!

Yeah, I'd probably go for the switch. I think there's a good chance being in the same group could actually resolve things. But it might not, and I don't really think asking the camp to accommodate you should be a big deal.

Tell the camp who your D wants to be with and that she does not want to be with the other girl. That's all you have to do.

OP here - another concern is that everyone could make requests - another good friend requested to be in my DD's group; I'm concerned that they may move DD, but leave all her friends in room with the bratty kid.

I would be the PITA mother! She will enjoy camp much more if she is not anticipating dealing with this girl.

Does the camp require a mutual request from both parties to group them together?

I wouldn't put my kid with a child she doesn't like. Camp is supposed to be fun not something a child dreads.

Honestly, I'd call and have her switched.

Kg girl has been in daisy's all year. She's liking it less and less as the year goes on and she's refusing to go to the last meeting - which is early next week. She says it's because if two specific girls who she doesn't like. I've volunteered several times and have noticed that the moms in charge have poor control of the group and that the 2 girls my DD identified can be loud, demanding, and bratty (for lack of a better word). One is the troop leader's daughter amd is the ring leader - a queen bee girl. At one meeting, they tore DD's homework folder - something about it being "Frozen" themed and frozen not being "cool" - it happened very quickly and I think the tearing was not so diberate, but the teasing was. It happened during the "free play" time, so the leader moms didn't know about it.

In any case, bratty kid #2 is signed up for camp with my DD and the mother told me recently that she called camp and requested that my DD and hers be placed in the same small group. I mentioned this to DD yesterday (when DD was telling me she wants to quit Daisies) and she asked if I could switch her out of the camp group.

No other kids from school will be at camp.

Do you think DD might develop a friendship with this girl, given that the other strong personalities will not be there?
Or should I honor her request and call camp and be a PITA mother?