That's a good point, PP. We have done everything you're supposed to do to help our DC with his/her ADHD issues -- medications from different psychiatrists, talk sessions with psychologists, placement in an ADHD-friendly private school, and probably thousands of talks and reminders over the years. However, as DC makes some progress in terms of organization, the demands of school ratchet up more quickly than DC is able to mature to deal with them. It's a very disheartening process, and it often feels as though nothing truly makes a difference long-term. I have spent many sleepless nights worrying how he/she is going to cope with college, maintain a job, raise a family. DC's I.Q. is high, but he/she seems unable to "manage" his/her life after many years of trying to deal with this issue. I guess I"m being a bit melodramatic, and there are parents who have to cope with children with much more severe issues and disabilities, but the last few weeks have been especially rough.

Anonymous wrote:As the mom of an ADHD kid and as someone who had undiagnosed ADD through my school years, I've learned you have to get after your kid to follow-up when assignments are not clear. While I appreciate accommodations, there is a line. We have to prepare our kids with techniques to cope in the job market and the real world, where not everyone will bend over backwards for our kids.

I can't imagine there are many parents who would not agree with this. The question is: how do we teach the kid those skills and techniques, and how do we support them while they are mastering those skills?

I tell my kids that the diagnosis/testing identifies the areas where they will have to work extra hard, as well as the areas where they learn easily but other kids have to work extra hard.

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- Yes, my DC is medicated, but it has not proven to be enough. My DC still has very poor executive functioning skills. I wish the medication had been as effective for my child.

NP here, with a similar experience. The meds are very helpful in reducing hyperactivity and improving focus, but don't do anything for internal organization/executive function skills. The medication allows him to focus enough to benefit from instruction, but still needs specific instruction in organization and planning.

OP here -- Yes, my DC is medicated, but it has not proven to be enough. My DC still has very poor executive functioning skills. I wish the medication had been as effective for my child.

Anonymous wrote:I know kids with ADHD at all the major privates (Sidwell, STA, St Patricks, Landon, etc..). They are medicated so it's under control. Is that what you mean? Or is it a kind that can't be, or for others reasone isn't, under control?

Can the OP answer this? My DC has some ADHD indications and is on Ritalin. Post-Ritalin, he's a pretty perfect kid -- gets straight As, is a music virtuoso, is a stellar athlete, and gets the most glowing reports from his teachers. It was a different story before a couple years ago when we started with the Ritalin. Teachers would complain that he was disruptive and would take ages to finish tests and classroom work (and homework was always a struggle). Are you asking about a school that takes kids with ADHD who do NOT take Ritalin or equivalent medication? Having seen the miraculous difference in my DC, I can't imagine (read CAN - NOT - IMAGINE) not getting meds. I guess they don't work the same for all kids though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the mom of an ADHD kid and as someone who had undiagnosed ADD through my school years, I've learned you have to get after your kid to follow-up when assignments are not clear. While I appreciate accommodations, there is a line. We have to prepare our kids with techniques to cope in the job market and the real world, where not everyone will bend over backwards for our kids.

Agree 100%. We can cripple our children and not prepare them for life if we do not help them find their own ways to cope and manage their disability.

NP. Agree as well. Both at home and at school ("self advocate, self advocate, self advocate"). Yes, also to Commonwealth Academy. The program is designed to teach the kids how to deal with ADHD via a system of supports and organizational tools and methods. By late sophomore to early junior year, the extra supports are removed (100% go on to college). It's 3-12. I wish I had known about it for my DC who is now having difficulty in college even though he had an IEP and attended privates that were supposed to help. The fact of the matter is that so much is whirling around in his head that he can't write a paper. And it's too late to teach that now.

Anonymous wrote:As the mom of an ADHD kid and as someone who had undiagnosed ADD through my school years, I've learned you have to get after your kid to follow-up when assignments are not clear. While I appreciate accommodations, there is a line. We have to prepare our kids with techniques to cope in the job market and the real world, where not everyone will bend over backwards for our kids.

Agree 100%. We can cripple our children and not prepare them for life if we do not help them find their own ways to cope and manage their disability.

Anonymous wrote:Commonwealth Academy really "gets" ADHD kids. No complaints.

The entire purpose of Commonwealth is to serve kids with ADHD, right? I would check it out, OP.

A lot of mainstream schools have "learning centers" and admit kids with ADHD, but I think the reality is that they don't provide a lot of in-school supports. The kids with ADHD I know at completely mainstream schools all take medication, and most have tutors. It's a trade off.

Commonwealth Academy really "gets" ADHD kids. No complaints.

I know kids with ADHD at all the major privates (Sidwell, STA, St Patricks, Landon, etc..). They are medicated so it's under control. Is that what you mean? Or is it a kind that can't be, or for others reasone isn't, under control?

As the mom of an ADHD kid and as someone who had undiagnosed ADD through my school years, I've learned you have to get after your kid to follow-up when assignments are not clear. While I appreciate accommodations, there is a line. We have to prepare our kids with techniques to cope in the job market and the real world, where not everyone will bend over backwards for our kids.

Anonymous wrote:While Flint Hill does offer a Learning Center, we have felt that the individual teachers are not particularly supportive or willing to accommodate students with ADHD in practice in the middle and upper grades. Other parents have voiced the same concerns to us. The teachers in general do seem to give students the mandated extra time on tests, but often forget to post assignments on the website, etc. Has anyone found a school where the teachers have gone out of their way to work with kids with executive functioning issues? A learning center may not be a be-all and end-all in terms of dealing with the issue since the students spends the majority of his/her time with the subject teachers.

New School of Northern Virginia is small enough that it works well for ADHD kids. The classes are also not so formally structured and interesting, and ADHD kids find it a nicer environment.

While Flint Hill does offer a Learning Center, we have felt that the individual teachers are not particularly supportive or willing to accommodate students with ADHD in practice in the middle and upper grades. Other parents have voiced the same concerns to us. The teachers in general do seem to give students the mandated extra time on tests, but often forget to post assignments on the website, etc. Has anyone found a school where the teachers have gone out of their way to work with kids with executive functioning issues? A learning center may not be a be-all and end-all in terms of dealing with the issue since the students spends the majority of his/her time with the subject teachers.