Anonymous wrote:Hate to be cliche, but OP I can hear the blades spinning...

Forcing your kid to go somewhere that YOU want = an unhappy kid

Incoming!

I want what he wants, it will be one of his first major adult decisions. I'm glad my parents let me choose even though I went far away and to a big city, they let me. It was expensive and I pay lots of loans but it wast choice and I had a great experience.

OP here, thank you!

Anonymous wrote:

What did you guys want for your kid?

Wanted my DC to be happy, healthy and participating in the academic and extracurricular life at whatever place he chose.

I think he got it right. He seems to be doing all of the above after two years there.

+100

What did you guys want for your kid?

Wanted my DC to be happy, healthy and participating in the academic and extracurricular life at whatever place he chose.

I think he got it right. He seems to be doing all of the above after two years there.

Hate to be cliche, but OP I can hear the blades spinning...

Forcing your kid to go somewhere that YOU want = an unhappy kid

According to the 'provider thread' and 'are women having kids earlier thread', you should probably want to send DD to a place where she'll have the highest chance of falling for someone who'll be a 'provider'

I want a college she can get into. That's all.

If I were a college consultant I would do the following:
Ask each parent where they went to college and listen if they generally were satisfied with their experience. Public vs private. It's important for families to support the decision and usually parents place more value on the experience they had. Since your DD is probably not too focused on this yet, use this time to nail down what you are willing to provide, an honest assessment of total cost. Does your child deficient in any areas -meaning are there any areas that could prevent her from majoring in anything her heart desires (math or foreign language talent) Again, since your daughter may not be too invested yet, pick a few schools you think might be good and research (not so much cause you want her to go there but because the steps are important) Look at the online undergraduate catalogue and see what the requirements are for different majors, notice the % of greek participation, % of on campus housing, % or undergraduate vs graduate enrollment. Overall you want to know how you can help your daughter find information once she mentions an interest. The goal of course is that it's your daughter's decision, and the parents are happy too.

Anonymous wrote:and I'm thinking what do I want four years of college to be like?

She wants to be about 4 to 6 hours away from DC. I'm thinking a safe environment and not too urban, good mix of academics and social. Not too much drinking and partying, but enough to have that experience of making sound decisions without seeking permission from a parent. A good group of friends that she can rely on. Ah..stay focus on her major. I can't believe these years have gone by so fast.

What did you guys want for your kid?

DD was undecided but had a fairly good idea what she did not want or could not do. We hoped for a place within our budget where she could find herself.

We left the budget up to our kid. We told them how much we could pay and they decided if they wanted to get loans to make up the difference.

Anonymous wrote:We wanted her to find a place she liked, felt comfortable and could be successful. And most important--a place we could afford.

All that other stuff--big vs. small, urban vs. rural, preppy vs. hippie, that's up to the kid (as long as it's in the budget).

When did you set you budget? Before college visits, during, after - that's the one thing we haven't discussed in great detail.

We wanted her to find a place she liked, felt comfortable and could be successful. And most important--a place we could afford.

All that other stuff--big vs. small, urban vs. rural, preppy vs. hippie, that's up to the kid (as long as it's in the budget).

We wanted him to find a school that had his major and that he could be successful.

and I'm thinking what do I want four years of college to be like?

She wants to be about 4 to 6 hours away from DC. I'm thinking a safe environment and not too urban, good mix of academics and social. Not too much drinking and partying, but enough to have that experience of making sound decisions without seeking permission from a parent. A good group of friends that she can rely on. Ah..stay focus on her major. I can't believe these years have gone by so fast.

What did you guys want for your kid?