Is this similar to "if you have a booger hanging out your nose would you want someone to tell you or prefer to remain clueless?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So most folks are telling the wife in the other thread NOT to tell the OW's husband about the affair. But some of us feel like he has a right to know.
If your spouse was cheating, would you want someone to clue you in? Or would you prefer to remain clueless?

This is a very individual thing. I wouldn't want to know. I wouldnt appreciate you telling me on the basis of what "most people," either. I'm not most people and if you don't know what I want, you should keep your mouth shut. Since you never know what people want, you should ALWAYS keep your mouth shut and MYOB.

...said the OW.

Anonymous wrote:So most folks are telling the wife in the other thread NOT to tell the OW's husband about the affair. But some of us feel like he has a right to know.
If your spouse was cheating, would you want someone to clue you in? Or would you prefer to remain clueless?

This is a very individual thing. I wouldn't want to know. I wouldnt appreciate you telling me on the basis of what "most people," either. I'm not most people and if you don't know what I want, you should keep your mouth shut. Since you never know what people want, you should ALWAYS keep your mouth shut and MYOB.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a man would want to know if his wife was cheating.

DH here: I think this is right. Not saying I would pull the plug on the marriage necessarily, but if she is having the opportunity to enjoy hot extramarital sex I would want the same.

Sound like a five year-old.
"But that's not fair! Sally got three cookies and I only got one I should get an extra cookie too!"

Anonymous wrote:I think a man would want to know if his wife was cheating.

DH here: I think this is right. Not saying I would pull the plug on the marriage necessarily, but if she is having the opportunity to enjoy hot extramarital sex I would want the same.

If it was a relationship bw the two wayward spouses then I would absolutely want to know. That's just something that undermines the marriages as long as it goes on. And the good spouse might blame oneself for the relationship woes or accept blame from the wayward that he/she doesn't deserve.

If it was a one night thing then I'm not sure.

I would want to know.

I think a man would want to know if his wife was cheating.

It's one thing to find out on my own - through my own inquiries/investigations based on my own suspicions - obviously in that instance I want to know what's going on. But if I'm totally oblivious to the fact and happy with my marriage then I'd prefer to stay that way. No way would I want some total stranger intruding into my personal life and taking it upon themselves to decide what's in my best interest.

A one night stand, protection used? No. An ongoing love affair because our marriage was in a bad place, yes.

Yes, I'd want to know. I did advise her to focus on what she wants to do about her own marriage. Her energies need to be on herself and her kids right now.

I was glad to know. I'd still be in a lonely marriage if I hadn't found out. I have kids and wouldn't have left otherwise. Finding out about the affair gave me my "get out of jail free card."

Yes.

I'd rather remain clueless. Dhs job brings us a lifestyle and other opportunities to see the world that I could never dream of achieving in my own profession. Of really rather remain blissfully ignorant in order to keep the lifestyle.

So most folks are telling the wife in the other thread NOT to tell the OW's husband about the affair. But some of us feel like he has a right to know.
If your spouse was cheating, would you want someone to clue you in? Or would you prefer to remain clueless?