Hi XXX,

Thank your for your email. XXX really enjoys Thomas, Hot Wheels, etc. We love getting new books as we read nightly but also greatly appreciate any new stuff that we may not have considered buying as that we've often have had more success with that stuff being a hit than the normal go-to toys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He loves Thomas the Train and animal books. But really, anything your child enjoys, my child would too.

Just no. It's useless if it's not true...

Agree with response to this poster. It's not true. And it's people like you that have bought my child toys he doesn't play with or finds a totally piece of junk, which makes me wonder: why did you waste your money?

Anonymous wrote:Why do parents feel uncomfortable with that question?

(it would not occur to me)

As an asker of this question, it comes down to this. 1) I'd be thrilled to buy your child a present. Or I would not ask.

2) I deplore the amount of crap we get from well-intentioned people. I don't want to spend my money on a piece a junk your child won't play with and would rather get something that your child would genuinely enjoy.

3) I've always taken people who are asking as genuinely wanting to know, and provide suggestions that span different low prices $5 and $20, to let the other parent do what makes most sense to them. When DS was younger I'd answer: He seems to never have enough playdough; he's also really into baking. People got us cans of playdough, cookie dough mix, cookie cutters, playdough, a cook book for kids, a dress up chef hat. More recently, I've answered: we never seem to have enough art supplies as he loves glitter glue and colorful tape. He's also really into legos. People got us origami paper, glitter crayons, glow in the dark paint, tape rolls, and a few people bought lego city or smaller lego sets. I really didn't feel that I was putting anyone out with my suggestions. And if you feel that way, I'd recommend not asking, because I'm the kind of mom who will answer you.

I'd email the person privately. I think it seems odd to post a response to a public board intended for one recipient. Yes, I realize the original responder put it on the public board, but you should respond in private with something like, "I saw your response to the Evite. John is so happy that Josh can make it. Thanks for asking what type of gift to bring. He really likes Lego sets and books right now. Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday."

I just say books.

There's nothing wrong with answering a direct question like that. Just suggest some general ideas: "Oh, she loves books and always likes to get new ones." or "He's really into dinosaurs right now." or "He loves Legos, especially the Star Wars kits." Just give them some idea of your kid's interests so they can figure out where to start. They ask because they want to get your kid something he will like.

And I'd respond publicly, since other parents may be interested in the information.

Anonymous wrote:He loves Thomas the Train and animal books. But really, anything your child enjoys, my child would too.

Just no. It's useless if it's not true...Just give as much guidance as you are comfortable with.

"As long as it's not electronic we are all for it!" makes clear the one thing you don't want and leaves everything else open.
"He really loves dinosaurs right now." makes everything dinosaur themed possible...books, figurines, board games, movies etc. etc.
"He loves stegosauri right now." makes the huge field of dinosaurs very specific.

Why do parents feel uncomfortable with that question?

(it would not occur to me)

I just give whatever my kids are into at that time (legos, trains, dora, etc)

I just say he'd be thrilled with anything. My kid had never met a present he didn't like. But right now he's into Legos, action figures, and animals. Books are great too.

I hate it too, but being on the receiving end of invites where I don't know the child or the family well it rally does help to have some sort of guidelines. With girls it's even worse- you don't know if they're a barbie family or militantly anti-barbie or what. When all else fails I go with a craft for a girl (which as the mother of a girl I actually hate - we have at least 3/4 unopened craft boxes in our basement right now).

I would respond via email and just generally give a few idea - he's really into spiderman and Transformers Rescue bots these days. She's really into legos and likes the new Fairies line and of course the Lego Friends. She also likes My Little Pony and Littlest PetShop. He's really into Legos and enjoys the city line, but is also really into books, too. Just 3 or 4 parameters that give the poor parent who doesn't have a clue about your kids what kinds of things he might like.

He loves Thomas the Train and animal books. But really, anything your child enjoys, my child would too.

A parent (who I don't know) responded to our DC's birthday party evite in the public comments section asking for gift ideas. How do I politely respond? Should it be kept in the comments section of evite or emailed privately? And what's the proper way to respond to that question in general?

I'm always a little uncomfortable giving gift ideas.

Thanks!