Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is exactly how we grew up. She's always been more lax on rules and structure, but this week seems particularly bad. I've always been more "together" than my sister I do not have children. We live 5 hours from them, but they will be moving to the west coast at the end of the month.

OIC. You're not a parent, but you're full of judgment for those who are. Typical.

Shut the fuck up. Dirty diapers, hiring and screaming is ok?

Actually, yes, it is.

PP again - now, the spanking is another issue but we don't know the facts surrounding the spankings, so I can't judge yet on that either.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is exactly how we grew up. She's always been more lax on rules and structure, but this week seems particularly bad. I've always been more "together" than my sister I do not have children. We live 5 hours from them, but they will be moving to the west coast at the end of the month.

Well, okay. This is new information to take into account. First, if this was how you were raised, I don't know where your sense of shock and outrage is coming from. After all, that's what she learned as far as parenting skills are concerned. Second, if you don't have children, it's impossible to understand IN ANY WAY how exceptionally hard it is to be a parent on duty 24/7. Like a PP said, I'm not saying her behavior was golden, but between the vacation atmosphere and her engrained habits (from her childhood and, likely, her daily life now)...it just is what it is.

I don't know that it makes her a horrible parent. It makes her a bad vacation buddy but I don't think you get to say that she's a horrible parent just from experiencing a few days of her parenting while on vacation. I wonder if it's that you have pent up anger about your own childhood and you're now projecting your frustrations and anger on your nephews? Because, really, I doubt they care about the dirty diapers, gramps smoking, and the sloppy kisses as much as you think they do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is exactly how we grew up. She's always been more lax on rules and structure, but this week seems particularly bad. I've always been more "together" than my sister I do not have children. We live 5 hours from them, but they will be moving to the west coast at the end of the month.

OIC. You're not a parent, but you're full of judgment for those who are. Typical.

Shut the fuck up. Dirty diapers, hiring and screaming is ok?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is exactly how we grew up. She's always been more lax on rules and structure, but this week seems particularly bad. I've always been more "together" than my sister I do not have children. We live 5 hours from them, but they will be moving to the west coast at the end of the month.

OIC. You're not a parent, but you're full of judgment for those who are. Typical.

OP here. This is exactly how we grew up. She's always been more lax on rules and structure, but this week seems particularly bad. I've always been more "together" than my sister I do not have children. We live 5 hours from them, but they will be moving to the west coast at the end of the month.

Yikes. I drink pretty liberally when I'm on vacation with my kids but never get uber wasted and wouldn't dream of leaving dirty diapers all over. But, try to cut her some slack for the vacation thing. now, if this is Tuesday night at home. No Bueno

I feel sorry for the kids, but they'll learn to fend for themselves pretty quickly with these kind of parents. For better or for worse.

Just out of curiosity, is this behavior consistent with the sister you grew up with? Or do you think it is due to the bad influence of her husband? Did your parents ever do anything like this?

I am not defending your sister's behavior at all, but I'm wondering if you were seeing her at her worst because she was "on vacation?"
Of course, parents should understand that vacation with small kids should NOT be like "beach week" after high school graduation, but I'm wondering if she and DH just decided to treat it that way, knowing you'd be there to pick up the slack.
Again, not AT ALL defending sister's behavior, and I think you are right to be concerned, but it might be good for you to visit them sometime at their own home and see what the level of drinking, filth, etc. is when it's not "vacation time."

They sound like alcoholics.

Holy crap. How far away do you live from them? Do you have kids of your own? Can you start taking the kids for long visits? Please try to be a stable adult presence in their lives. They will need you

We are American.

Are you British? I guess you aren't, otherwise you would have referred to cigarettes as "fags." But your sister sounds very British.

I rented a condo at the beach for a week. My husband had to work unexpectedly and was unable to come.
I decided to invite my sister, brother-in-law and her 2 sons.
I always knew she was very relaxed on rules and structure....but OH MY GOD.

-she and my brother-in-law drink like fish and barely supervise my nephews (5 and 2).
-they invited my BIL's father (who lives with them) who has done nothing but smoke cigarettes on the balcony-which I'm sure is aggravating my neighbors.
-my sister left dirty diapers all over the condo and never in a garbage can for some reason.
-they never enforced my "no food anywhere but in the kitchen" rule and allowed the kids to smash cookies and chips into the carpet.
-they cracked the door of the microwave by slamming it shut.
-they invited a friend (who I have never met) to join us for a day without my knowledge or permission. I was told 10 minutes before she arrived.
(Luckily she was very nice and was as horrified by them as I was).
-they got completely wasted, passed out and left their friend in the living room with no sleeping arrangements.
I had to make up a bed for her.
-they also left their 5 year old with no pajamas on amd without his teeth brushed. I had to get him ready.
-my sister yells at and spanks the kids.
-my sister gets drunk and proceeds to get sloppy and tell the kids "oh hug your Mommy..I love you so much." They hate it and try to get away from her.
It's fucking embarassing.

This is more of a vent and I've gotten really bad and I am really concerned for my nephews. She has turned into a horrible person.