Anonymous wrote:I read a study not long ago about sex and marriage and a sexless marriage was defined by the researchers as 10 times or less per year.

Who cares about the definition. its either enough sex or not. 10 times per year might be ok for some but not for others. I hope OP isn't trying to get a number so she can tell her DH that they aren't in a sexless marriage.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should probably add that we co-slept and one or both our kids still climb into our bed. They like to sleep next to us. It supposedly makes them feel safe.

OP, you sound like you make a lot of excuses. If your DH is unhappy then there's no reason to have to define it as sexless. No need for terms, either you're both happy with the frequency or not.

It's unlikely your DH's drive has dropped all that much if he (like you) were up for it 7 days a week. He's probably quite unhappy in that regard.

And if you're a high drive woman, find your drive again for yourself! Life can be a drag, so have a lot of sex!

I read a study not long ago about sex and marriage and a sexless marriage was defined by the researchers as 10 times or less per year.

Maybe I'm too literal, but I thought sexless meant truly sexless. I don't think once a month is good, at all, but I wouldn't have hought that was sexless.

But it's only a problem, if one of you thinks it's a problem. There is no minimum that you have to have to have a good marriage.
I don't have kids, but we still only have sex 1-2 a month. And lately due to some life/health issues, it's been once in 4 months. But we are still affectionate and cuddle on the couch when we watch TV. We still love and desire each other. Just not happening right now for us.
Talk to your DH and see how he feels. Does he want it more? Do you want it more, or just think that you should have it more? Then work out a plan to meet both your needs.

Every other marriage in DC?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should probably add that we co-slept and one or both our kids still climb into our bed. They like to sleep next to us. It supposedly makes them feel safe.

Perfect recipe for sexless. I'd consider once a month sexless too.

I think this is really unfair.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should probably add that we co-slept and one or both our kids still climb into our bed. They like to sleep next to us. It supposedly makes them feel safe.

Perfect recipe for sexless. I'd consider once a month sexless too.

Anonymous wrote:You can have sex in the shower, in the middle of the day on the weekends, etc. If the two of you wanted to have sex more often you could have sex more often. You have a sexless marriage. If you are happy then fine. If not then fix it. It's not rocket science.

Ditto.

You can have sex in the shower, in the middle of the day on the weekends, etc. If the two of you wanted to have sex more often you could have sex more often. You have a sexless marriage. If you are happy then fine. If not then fix it. It's not rocket science.

OP here. I should probably add that we co-slept and one or both our kids still climb into our bed. They like to sleep next to us. It supposedly makes them feel safe.

I would consider once a month sex and sexless.

No because you still have sex now and then, but what you need to do is initiate more, even when you're tired. Even if it's only a quick few moments at 3 a.m., it will still help you both bond to one another.

Before we got married, we used to have sex everyday. After we got married, maybe 3-4x per week before I got pregnant. I puked and felt sick and probably only had sex 1x per month, if not. Then baby was born and didn't have sex for about 6 months. For about a year, we'd have sex about 1-2x per month, got pregnant with our second and again no sex for a few months. We are back to having sex about once per month.

Is sex once per month considered a sexless marriage?

Our kids were not good sleepers. One or both of us often passes out while reading stories to our children. My sex drive has plummeted. I know DH would prefer to have sex more often but he is also often exhausted.