Anonymous wrote:We were dating then, but for Christmas one year my now DH gave me battery operated roadside flares, a phone charger for my car (this was the 90s and I'd just bought my first new car)...some other uber practical things I can't recall...and a lovely pearl ring.

He called his mom a few nights before and told her what he bought me and she was horrified at how utilitarian everything was and advised him to please buy some jewelry.

I had a bf once who gave me a jewelry box wrapped with a bow - with a tire gauge inside. I thought it was very sweet, as I had just gotten a car and mentioned that I needed one. Might have not thought so had it been for xmas though.

He might be a HfA for lots of other reasons, not just because he believes himself to be hands on. Sorry for the misstatement.

Thank you PP. I have no idea what his problem is. I've suggested couple's therapy for years. I've suggested therapy for him and continue to do so on a weekly basis. He might be a high functioning autistic because he believes himself to be a hands on parent. He does nothing around the house other than the yard. He won't even put his clothes away (I leave them folded in an ever growing pile) and complains when I ask him to help clean the table after he eats dinner.

He has had some major medical issues which concealed a lot of our marital issues as well. Not sure why he begged me for children (which I adore and are the center of my life) when he expects to come home and find them in bed. He does not lift a finger to help me in the mornings, preferring to sleep in until the last minute. he keeps talking about another child and I don't know how to tell him that he barely cares about his current children, and we are not having more. I dont have family nearby and do everything myself. He might be depressed, but he doesn't care enough about me and the kids to do anything about it and better his life.

I'm very sorry, 20:13. Is he depressed? Does h need therapy? You probably need couples therapy.

This morning I woke up at 5:30 to deal with the screaming toddler. My husband loudly complained when he was woken at 7am by the same toddler. I got both kids ready on my own, and my husband didn't even pour me a cup of coffee. I got a card from my kids and husband that he bought the night before at the grocery store- leaving me to put the kids to bed by myself. I got a cake from the same grocery. Otherwise the day was the same or a little bit worse than normal. I changed all of the baby's diapers. I dealt with the toddler's tantrums. I made every meal and cleaned up after every meal. All I wanted was a bike ride as a family. But husband was too hot and decided he wanted to buy shoes for himself again. I got no gifts at all. Finally at 5 I got my bike ride. My husband acted completely put out despite the fact that I got both kids ready on my own. We took a very short ride and brought the kids to the playground while I locked up the bikes by myself with a crying baby in my arms and toddler on me. My husband didn't want to deal with it. He sat on a bench by himself while I played with the kids. When they cried on the way home, he yelled at them and at me.

At one point he shouted to everyone for absolutely no reason, "I HATE TODAY!!" It really freaked out both kids. I made dinner for the kids, fed them, and cleaned everything up while he read the paper on the sofa. I got the kids bathed, dressed and in bed on my own. He did take care of the garbage which is something he'll be patting himself on the back for hours. I nursed the baby while he watched tv downstairs. And that's my "wonderful" day.

Anonymous wrote:
Yep for my birthday just one of many bad gifts I have gotten over the years from a "great" gift giver(just ask she and she will tell you what a great gift giver she is).

That is so strange, its kinda cute. My kid would have loved that or picked it out.

We were dating then, but for Christmas one year my now DH gave me battery operated roadside flares, a phone charger for my car (this was the 90s and I'd just bought my first new car)...some other uber practical things I can't recall...and a lovely pearl ring.

He called his mom a few nights before and told her what he bought me and she was horrified at how utilitarian everything was and advised him to please buy some jewelry.

Lingerie which he was proud to inform me he got as an Amazon lightening deal. Double no.

Yep for my birthday just one of many bad gifts I have gotten over the years from a "great" gift giver(just ask she and she will tell you what a great gift giver she is).

Today I received a jar of jam for mother's day.

I wasn't expecting anything extravagant, but would have appreciated it if he'd just set his alarm this once to make the coffee and get the baby up and take care of the pets like he said he would.

I've never received a gift . Apparently, I should just be satisfied with a card and dinner.

Cable TV (never installed), "permission" to join a health club (not even signing me up), exercise classes for two later which DH wouldn't go to because he doesn't like classes, nothing, nothing, etc. And those are things he thought of himself.

A new vacuum cleaner - so I would "enjoy housework more" and an exercise bike so I could "be thinner and more attractive" to DH.

A package of Brita filters for my birthday. Not even gift wrapped.

I married him anyway. He sticks to my Amazon wish list, and I don't complain

For me it is Shampoo.