Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:51
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
OP, I'm with you. That is super annoying! Nothing you can really do about it but let it go. My in-laws are always coming up with little things that make me nuts too.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:47
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
Anonymous wrote:DS is a one-year-old. My inlaws enjoy referring to him as Daddy's boy, saying Daddy is his favorite person etc etc etc, even recently telling me that if I wanted to have better luck capturing video of him walking I should film him while standing next to his father so he had motivation to walk towards me.
I find this incredibly hurtful --- as if to inspire competition or drive a wedge between DH and myself. My family doesn't do this --- I've asked my husband to say something to his parents, and he hasn't. In fact he seems to enjoy perpetuating this image.
I'm trying not to be petty so if that's how this comes across, please flame away --- maybe I need the reality check. Recently returned to work FT so maybe that's why this stings. Not sure how to nip this in the bud.
I'd just let it go. They're being obnoxious. You're his mom. He loves you. Ignore the ILs.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:38
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
Ha, if your husband is playing along with it too, work it to your advantage: here Daddy, take your boy this afternoon so I can go for a coffee and massage 
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:32
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
I don't think you are being petty and I get why this would feel bad to you. As I see it, you have one of two choices at this point... 1) let it roll off your back and know that they're just insensitive or 2) say something to them directly ("Please stop calling him Daddy's Boy.").
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:31
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
OP, you do need a reality check! If this is the extent of your discontent, I want your life LOL
Seriously, grow up already
Seriously, grow up already
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:29
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
thanks all! To be honest, not sure who DS prefers --- during the day I often think he prefers DH, at night he won't calm down unless I'm there. So maybe it's 50-50, which is probably how it should be....
Not entirely sure why this needs to be a constant conversation point with them --- at the end of the day, it makes me uncomfortable in my own home and like my interactions with son are constantly being judged to see if they show I'm not the favored parent.
Not entirely sure why this needs to be a constant conversation point with them --- at the end of the day, it makes me uncomfortable in my own home and like my interactions with son are constantly being judged to see if they show I'm not the favored parent.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:28
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
Anonymous wrote:DS is a one-year-old. My inlaws enjoy referring to him as Daddy's boy, saying Daddy is his favorite person etc etc etc, even recently telling me that if I wanted to have better luck capturing video of him walking I should film him while standing next to his father so he had motivation to walk towards me.
I find this incredibly hurtful --- as if to inspire competition or drive a wedge between DH and myself. My family doesn't do this --- I've asked my husband to say something to his parents, and he hasn't. In fact he seems to enjoy perpetuating this image.
I'm trying not to be petty so if that's how this comes across, please flame away --- maybe I need the reality check. Recently returned to work FT so maybe that's why this stings. Not sure how to nip this in the bud.
This isn't a hill to die on, or something to even address. Just let it go. Don't let something this silly even make any kind of issue between you and your DH. So they say your DS prefers THEIR CHILD over you. So what? What is it that you want your DH to say? That he doesn't prefer him? That he is not Daddy's boy? REALLY? Just LET IT GO.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:24
Subject: Re:MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
Anonymous wrote:Your IL's are doing this because it is their son's child not as a slight to you, but to booster their own sense of pride in their family (the same way you will be proud of your children into their adulthood). Yes, it is obnoxious and grating, but it is unlikely to be malicious.
Get used to it. Over the next 10-17 years, your son will flop back and forth between a Daddy's boy and a Mommy's boy. It's part of life that if both parents are interactive with the child that they will have times that they favor one or the other parent. After a few years, you'll be tired from the childcare. You won't love it any less, but you'll be tired. I take those times when my children prefer my spouse as times that I get to do more things for me or household things and less childcare. It's very hard to be on-call for all of your child's waking hours and I appreciate the times when I get to do chores without interruption every 30 seconds to 3 minutes. I know that sooner or later, I'll be the parent of choice and my spouse will be doing all the adult things and enjoying getting 5 minutes to finish a household task or take 3 minutes to go to the bathroom without the door popping open and being "checked on." At this stage a few years past you, there are times I appreciate not being the favored parent.
So I would let it slide and just take it in stride. Be the bigger person and let them be the proud grandparents.
This.
My inlaws also say every child we have looks like their son (when popular opinion says the opposite) - I agree with them every time. Because it shows that they are bonded and love their grandbabies.
You are being sensitive. And, does the child prefer your husband? You never say if he/she does. That is perfectly normal as well.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:15
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
You sound a little over-sensitive, but that's natural for a new parent. I think the issue is more with your husband. If it were me, I'd be telling my DH that I know I'm being sensitive, and that I love how great a Dad he is, but that it really hurts my feelings when his parents keep trying to make him out as the favorite parent. If he's a sensitive guy, he should be able to step in when his parents make this sort of comment and defuse it. "Favorite person? You're crazy--you should see how happy he is to see Larla in the morning." If he's a jerk, you have bigger problems than your in-laws.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:10
Subject: Re:MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
Your IL's are doing this because it is their son's child not as a slight to you, but to booster their own sense of pride in their family (the same way you will be proud of your children into their adulthood). Yes, it is obnoxious and grating, but it is unlikely to be malicious.
Get used to it. Over the next 10-17 years, your son will flop back and forth between a Daddy's boy and a Mommy's boy. It's part of life that if both parents are interactive with the child that they will have times that they favor one or the other parent. After a few years, you'll be tired from the childcare. You won't love it any less, but you'll be tired. I take those times when my children prefer my spouse as times that I get to do more things for me or household things and less childcare. It's very hard to be on-call for all of your child's waking hours and I appreciate the times when I get to do chores without interruption every 30 seconds to 3 minutes. I know that sooner or later, I'll be the parent of choice and my spouse will be doing all the adult things and enjoying getting 5 minutes to finish a household task or take 3 minutes to go to the bathroom without the door popping open and being "checked on." At this stage a few years past you, there are times I appreciate not being the favored parent.
So I would let it slide and just take it in stride. Be the bigger person and let them be the proud grandparents.
Get used to it. Over the next 10-17 years, your son will flop back and forth between a Daddy's boy and a Mommy's boy. It's part of life that if both parents are interactive with the child that they will have times that they favor one or the other parent. After a few years, you'll be tired from the childcare. You won't love it any less, but you'll be tired. I take those times when my children prefer my spouse as times that I get to do more things for me or household things and less childcare. It's very hard to be on-call for all of your child's waking hours and I appreciate the times when I get to do chores without interruption every 30 seconds to 3 minutes. I know that sooner or later, I'll be the parent of choice and my spouse will be doing all the adult things and enjoying getting 5 minutes to finish a household task or take 3 minutes to go to the bathroom without the door popping open and being "checked on." At this stage a few years past you, there are times I appreciate not being the favored parent.
So I would let it slide and just take it in stride. Be the bigger person and let them be the proud grandparents.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:09
Subject: Re:MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
Nope - not going to flame. These people are asses and your husband is TOTALLY wrong for not standing up for you. It's amazing how stupid stereotypes get imbedded really early. Epic in-law fail. Epic DH fail.
For the record, I was always the 'cheerful stupid' child in the opinion of my grandparents on my dad's side. I knew this by age three (it didn't help that I was left handed like my mom- just to give you a further indication of what these people were like).
I won't bang on about the fact that it now appears I am not as dim-witted as they thought (I am still mostly cheerful FYI) but no one close to me will ever put my kids in a box and try and keep them there. And if my husband bought into that kind of "me against/more preferred than you" toxic muck I would visit upon him something dire. You cannot change your in-laws but I hope to hell you can impress on your husband how wrong his buying into this is for your family dynamic.
Sorry if I sound strident (maybe that's the intellectually inadequate bit coming out) but you do need to deal with this. It's not just a phrase or a moniker, it's a power issue that needs to be addressed. Strong respected women grow strong respectable boys. Disrespected women have far greater challenges. Put your foot down OP.
For the record, I was always the 'cheerful stupid' child in the opinion of my grandparents on my dad's side. I knew this by age three (it didn't help that I was left handed like my mom- just to give you a further indication of what these people were like).
I won't bang on about the fact that it now appears I am not as dim-witted as they thought (I am still mostly cheerful FYI) but no one close to me will ever put my kids in a box and try and keep them there. And if my husband bought into that kind of "me against/more preferred than you" toxic muck I would visit upon him something dire. You cannot change your in-laws but I hope to hell you can impress on your husband how wrong his buying into this is for your family dynamic.
Sorry if I sound strident (maybe that's the intellectually inadequate bit coming out) but you do need to deal with this. It's not just a phrase or a moniker, it's a power issue that needs to be addressed. Strong respected women grow strong respectable boys. Disrespected women have far greater challenges. Put your foot down OP.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 11:09
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
OP, I can completely understand why this would be annoying.
And I think you need to find a way to laugh it off and not let it bother you.
And I think you need to find a way to laugh it off and not let it bother you.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 10:59
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
It's not clear whether they are just saying this or whether your son actually has a preference for your husband.
If he does, you should know it's perfectly normal for kids to prefer one parent or the other at various times. It might sting, but it doesn't mean anything in the long term, and you need to let it go.
If your son doesn't have a preference, and your ILs are just saying this, the you have an IL problem that probably ought to go into Family Relatinoships instead of parenting.
If he does, you should know it's perfectly normal for kids to prefer one parent or the other at various times. It might sting, but it doesn't mean anything in the long term, and you need to let it go.
If your son doesn't have a preference, and your ILs are just saying this, the you have an IL problem that probably ought to go into Family Relatinoships instead of parenting.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 10:56
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
I don't know, I don't think you can address it anymore without coming off as super petty. Why does it bother you so much? I think this is just something you need to shake off.
Anonymous
05/05/2015 10:51
Subject: MIL/FIL insist on calling son "Daddy's Boy"
DS is a one-year-old. My inlaws enjoy referring to him as Daddy's boy, saying Daddy is his favorite person etc etc etc, even recently telling me that if I wanted to have better luck capturing video of him walking I should film him while standing next to his father so he had motivation to walk towards me.
I find this incredibly hurtful --- as if to inspire competition or drive a wedge between DH and myself. My family doesn't do this --- I've asked my husband to say something to his parents, and he hasn't. In fact he seems to enjoy perpetuating this image.
I'm trying not to be petty so if that's how this comes across, please flame away --- maybe I need the reality check. Recently returned to work FT so maybe that's why this stings. Not sure how to nip this in the bud.
I find this incredibly hurtful --- as if to inspire competition or drive a wedge between DH and myself. My family doesn't do this --- I've asked my husband to say something to his parents, and he hasn't. In fact he seems to enjoy perpetuating this image.
I'm trying not to be petty so if that's how this comes across, please flame away --- maybe I need the reality check. Recently returned to work FT so maybe that's why this stings. Not sure how to nip this in the bud.