Sheryl is that you?

I spent my college years and most of my twenties going to bars and being ignored while my hot friends were constantly hit on. Sometimes a group of guys would assign their friend to distract me/assuage my wounded pride with some pity-flirtation while they concentrated on picking up my hot friends.

I didn't lose my virginity till I was 26 years old and in a relationship with a nice young man who had similarly been rejected by women his whole life. By the time I was 29 that relationship died due to our mutual insecurities. Now I'm in my mid-thirties and still mostly invisible. The other PP had it right. For those of us who are average/below-average looking, the most constant experience is total invisibility. Men just ignore you. It's like they don't realize you're female.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you feel makes you ugly, pp?

Cut the crap. This isn't rocket science; we all know what is ugly and what is pretty. This thread doesn't have to turn into some condescending counseling session so the pretties can pretend to feel good about themselves.

Well, that was ugly

Well, I've been short and fat my whole life and never managed to conquer my bad skin or my thin, limp hair. And my big nose swallows my face. I'm in my mid-forties, had a few uninspiring relationships, and am now comfortably settled into the knowledge that I'm just going to go it alone.

Can't say being ugly brought me any advantages, sorry. Only nice thing is that at my age, all the pretty women are starting to lose their looks too.

I'm completely average looking. I get no attention anywhere unless it's from REALLY drunk guys (I'm not in those kind of situations now of course but I was in college). In stores the clerks completely ignore me. It's especially bad at high-end stores and Sephora, which kind of amuses me because it actually takes me a lot of makeup to look average.

I'm 6 months pregnant and it has actually made me realize how much I was ignored before. Now strangers are pretty nice to me in comparison - holding doors, another customer got something off a high shelf for me at a store, even get slightly better/faster service at restaurants. But I know it's because I'm pregnant because none of these things have ever happened before.

Anonymous wrote:When I finally found DH, I was thankful for the complete lack of male attention I had gotten before him, because it made me the person I am and that attracted the kindest, tenderest, most loving man into my life. A man who saw past my face and body and loved me for who I am.

That is the biggest gift. I'd rather have gone my path - 29 years of singled and virginity, unattractive and alone - and found a man who loved me for me, than attracted a man who only saw my outer looks.

+1 me too

I'm not necessarily ugly but I am fat. I have been thin in the recent past, and people were certainly more attentive - holding doors, offering help, etc. No one is mean to me now or anything, mostly just invisible. Which is not a bif deal to me.

When I finally found DH, I was thankful for the complete lack of male attention I had gotten before him, because it made me the person I am and that attracted the kindest, tenderest, most loving man into my life. A man who saw past my face and body and loved me for who I am.

That is the biggest gift. I'd rather have gone my path - 29 years of singled and virginity, unattractive and alone - and found a man who loved me for me, than attracted a man who only saw my outer looks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you feel makes you ugly, pp?

Cut the crap. This isn't rocket science; we all know what is ugly and what is pretty. This thread doesn't have to turn into some condescending counseling session so the pretties can pretend to feel good about themselves.

You sound angry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you feel makes you ugly, pp?

Cut the crap. This isn't rocket science; we all know what is ugly and what is pretty. This thread doesn't have to turn into some condescending counseling session so the pretties can pretend to feel good about themselves.

I'm pretty average looking. I think very few people are truly ugly and am wondering what makes people define themselves that way.

ugly inside or ugly outside?

Anonymous wrote:What do you feel makes you ugly, pp?

Cut the crap. This isn't rocket science; we all know what is ugly and what is pretty. This thread doesn't have to turn into some condescending counseling session so the pretties can pretend to feel good about themselves.

What do you feel makes you ugly, pp?

Thank god! I was ignoring the other thread but somehow it just wouldn't get buried; I was irritated every time I saw it pop up to the top of the page but I never bothered to open it.

Being perpetually single has taught me to be self-reliant. I don't need men to love me to figure out how to accept myself. I earn 6 figures so I don't miss the fact that no man has ever bought me a drink.

Because the "pretty privilege" thread made me want to throw up.

Let's talk about our experiences here!