Anonymous wrote: I overheard my husband tell this to a girl in his office about to marry.

" you will not know true love until you have been married as long as we have. That giddy butterfly feeling is not love. Love like ours is so deep words cannot explain it. I feel we are one person. "

Quotes like this highlight to me how the perfect person won't be perfect for everyone. I have no desire to be one person with my husband. I want us to be two people who are partners, not the same person with schizophrenia.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I overheard my husband tell this to a girl in his office about to marry.

" you will not know true love until you have been married as long as we have. That giddy butterfly feeling is not love. Love like ours is so deep words cannot explain it. I feel we are one person. "

Well, then. Your husband is a pompous ass

And codependent

Anonymous wrote: I overheard my husband tell this to a girl in his office about to marry.

" you will not know true love until you have been married as long as we have. That giddy butterfly feeling is not love. Love like ours is so deep words cannot explain it. I feel we are one person. "

Well, then. Your husband is a pompous ass

I'm the one with the great smelling wife. I respect her intelligence, her tenacity, her ability to keep her head in stressful situations. I appreciate that she finds my dorkiness cute instead of awkward (or at least she doesn't let on). I appreciate the way she and I are able to parent like a team- even when we acknowledge that we've been outflanked and lost a battle with the kids- we lose and win together.

I love the way she bursts out laughing- she either smiles or cracks up- not much in between with her. I like her butt when she wears scrubs (she's a nurse) and I appreciate her empathy toward others. I know she can't cook- or so she has claimed for the last decade- yet when I'm exhausted from work, she makes something happen so I don't have to.

I think the secret to our success is acknowledging that each of us has a tough road, but it's easier to travel together. We don't weigh troubles and play the who has it worse or better game. We try to be present and keep the balance day to day- and when it is out of whack, due to illness or stress or whatever, it doesn't feel so overwhelming to jump in for the other.

It isn't always butterflies like it used to be. Mostly now it is comfort and companionship and love. But we do make an effort to date one another and yes, for me the butterflies do fly on occasion. And even if they don't I'm patient and know they'll be back.

i had overstated my visa and needed to leave the country. He didn't want to lose me so we had a quickly courthouse wedding. I didn't know what love is until i met him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PP that you make your own happily ever after. I remember clearly the butterflies when I met my wife- what she wore, what her perfume smelled like. We had tons in common and spent the late summer and early fall falling in love- dinner and art galleries, picnics at Wolf Trap-when I think back still feels lit by that great early fall evening sun. We have been together 12 years and I love her today like she's a part of me. I'm forever grateful for her and for the family we've made together. We spend most our time with our kids now, but I still get butterflies when we do date night and she wears that perfume.

This made me smile!

PP, it is your duty to share more!

For those of us holding out hope that men like you exist, PLEASE tell us more about what it is that knits the two of you together. Share more of the story! What do you respect about her, what do you cherish? The small things. Talk.

I never really had a list of things I wanted in a partner. After a pretty sad and brief marriage, I find that I only want one thing, and that is to be valued.

Please share more of the story. I would love to hear your perspective.

Signed, Team Butterfly

Not the PP to whom you addressed the question but I share a lot of his sentiments.

Being valued is something that happens mutually. It cannot be a one-sided sentiment but when it is mutual, it can actually grow and flourish.

I overheard my husband tell this to a girl in his office about to marry.

" you will not know true love until you have been married as long as we have. That giddy butterfly feeling is not love. Love like ours is so deep words cannot explain it. I feel we are one person. "

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PP that you make your own happily ever after. I remember clearly the butterflies when I met my wife- what she wore, what her perfume smelled like. We had tons in common and spent the late summer and early fall falling in love- dinner and art galleries, picnics at Wolf Trap-when I think back still feels lit by that great early fall evening sun. We have been together 12 years and I love her today like she's a part of me. I'm forever grateful for her and for the family we've made together. We spend most our time with our kids now, but I still get butterflies when we do date night and she wears that perfume.

This made me smile!

PP, it is your duty to share more!

For those of us holding out hope that men like you exist, PLEASE tell us more about what it is that knits the two of you together. Share more of the story! What do you respect about her, what do you cherish? The small things. Talk.

I never really had a list of things I wanted in a partner. After a pretty sad and brief marriage, I find that I only want one thing, and that is to be valued.

Please share more of the story. I would love to hear your perspective.

Signed, Team Butterfly

The only part of our relationship that is like a movie plot is that our son was born exactly 6 years to the day of our first date (and I pushed like hell to make that deadline)

Haha. DH and I had an awful half of our first date. I mean TERRIBLE. It was one of those things where all the little details went wrong (the place he picked out had a private party that night, it was further than I realized from my apt and I walked and was late), we both suck at small talk so that was difficult. Then I had an idea for a place to get drinks that I thought was walkable to...it took us 20 min. It was SO awkward but we committed to at least getting one drink. Ended up loosening up a bit we threw all first date rules out (talked about politics, religion, my adoption, etc.) and ended up having a blast.

I still can't believe I lucked out with such an amazing guy. Every day I find new ways to fall in love with him.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PP that you make your own happily ever after. I remember clearly the butterflies when I met my wife- what she wore, what her perfume smelled like. We had tons in common and spent the late summer and early fall falling in love- dinner and art galleries, picnics at Wolf Trap-when I think back still feels lit by that great early fall evening sun. We have been together 12 years and I love her today like she's a part of me. I'm forever grateful for her and for the family we've made together. We spend most our time with our kids now, but I still get butterflies when we do date night and she wears that perfume.

This made me smile!

I agree with the PP that you make your own happily ever after. I remember clearly the butterflies when I met my wife- what she wore, what her perfume smelled like. We had tons in common and spent the late summer and early fall falling in love- dinner and art galleries, picnics at Wolf Trap-when I think back still feels lit by that great early fall evening sun. We have been together 12 years and I love her today like she's a part of me. I'm forever grateful for her and for the family we've made together. We spend most our time with our kids now, but I still get butterflies when we do date night and she wears that perfume.

We eloped ............ became social outcasts but we did not care. Still together and happy after more than two decades.

Met in high school - married at 29. Madly in love with each other, but no small issues here. Big ones, that we worked really hard to overcome. Still madly in love at 39 and adore our kids and each other. The only fairy tales are the ones you make.

It is hard to believe there are love stories like the ones in the movies, magical and romantic and they live happily ever after. I know each relationship has their own issues, but small enough to be managed and work through without it affecting happiness or love. I want to keep believing it exists, I want to hear your love stories! Your happily ever after!
Thanks in advance.