Anonymous
05/04/2015 06:09
Subject: Verbally abusive/mentally ill grandparent
I think it's wonderful that your child speaks up and defends you. He sounds like a great kid.
Children, especially young children, can compartmentalize "good grandpa" who they have fun with and enjoy and want to stay, from "bad grandpa" who is mean to mommy. It's not going to do him long term harm. You can tell him Grandpa is getting old and sometimes old people say mean things. Continue gently standing up to your father.
If your father threatens to go home, I would let him, without question. Tell your child that grandpa has to go home because he's not behaving the way people behave in your house, where the rules are people have to be nice to each other. He'll come back very soon when he can be nice to every one. Don't negotiate.
Children, especially young children, can compartmentalize "good grandpa" who they have fun with and enjoy and want to stay, from "bad grandpa" who is mean to mommy. It's not going to do him long term harm. You can tell him Grandpa is getting old and sometimes old people say mean things. Continue gently standing up to your father.
If your father threatens to go home, I would let him, without question. Tell your child that grandpa has to go home because he's not behaving the way people behave in your house, where the rules are people have to be nice to each other. He'll come back very soon when he can be nice to every one. Don't negotiate.
Anonymous
05/03/2015 20:07
Subject: Re:Verbally abusive/mentally ill grandparent
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to a therapist. Learn how to deal with this for the long term.
+1 This is too serious an issue to get a bunch of anonymous advice about. Please speak to a qualified therapist.
+2
Anonymous
05/03/2015 13:03
Subject: Re:Verbally abusive/mentally ill grandparent
Anonymous wrote:I really think this call for therapy about almost everything is off. OP, your kid sounds like he has a very healthy self esteem and a natural knack for dealing with his grandpa. You could spend some times clarifying issues with him, explaining and so forth.
I sincerely understand the healthy urge to avoid teaching our kids that abusive relatives are OK--you know what I mean--but from what you have written, OP, it seems as if your little guy has a natural talent, and a very good level of emotional security from you. He feels safe sticking up for you and himself, if I'm reading you accurately. If your little one can see past the illness and have a relationship with his old grandpa, this is great! Good luck, OP. Mental illness in families is a heartbreak many of us share.
+1000 Sounds like your little guy will be able to teach you a few things about dealing with an aging parent. He sounds like a chill kid who both understands how to be protective of you and his beloved grandpa. You are very lucky, OP!
Anonymous
05/03/2015 12:51
Subject: Re:Verbally abusive/mentally ill grandparent
I really think this call for therapy about almost everything is off. OP, your kid sounds like he has a very healthy self esteem and a natural knack for dealing with his grandpa. You could spend some times clarifying issues with him, explaining and so forth.
I sincerely understand the healthy urge to avoid teaching our kids that abusive relatives are OK--you know what I mean--but from what you have written, OP, it seems as if your little guy has a natural talent, and a very good level of emotional security from you. He feels safe sticking up for you and himself, if I'm reading you accurately. If your little one can see past the illness and have a relationship with his old grandpa, this is great! Good luck, OP. Mental illness in families is a heartbreak many of us share.
I sincerely understand the healthy urge to avoid teaching our kids that abusive relatives are OK--you know what I mean--but from what you have written, OP, it seems as if your little guy has a natural talent, and a very good level of emotional security from you. He feels safe sticking up for you and himself, if I'm reading you accurately. If your little one can see past the illness and have a relationship with his old grandpa, this is great! Good luck, OP. Mental illness in families is a heartbreak many of us share.
Anonymous
05/03/2015 07:00
Subject: Verbally abusive/mentally ill grandparent
Mental illness or developing dementia? (I am dealing with the latter)?
Anonymous
05/02/2015 22:56
Subject: Re:Verbally abusive/mentally ill grandparent
Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to a therapist. Learn how to deal with this for the long term.
+1 This is too serious an issue to get a bunch of anonymous advice about. Please speak to a qualified therapist.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 16:56
Subject: Re:Verbally abusive/mentally ill grandparent
You need to talk to a therapist. Learn how to deal with this for the long term.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 16:46
Subject: Verbally abusive/mentally ill grandparent
My father may have undiagnosed mental illness. He is sometimes verbally abusive to me [in front of DC]. I do not want this type of behavior around DC, but DC is always asking and wanting to see his local grandpa. It has gotten to the point where DC will often tell grandpa to be quiet when my father talks to me, even if my father is just being conversational. While my father is having an episode and I call him out on his behavior, he says he'll go home - which causes DC to get upset because he wants grandpa to stay. What to do?