Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about trickery or forcing him into the decision or into having kids that he doesn't really want. It is not something I take lightly and I realize how important it is for us both to be in agreement about how many kids we want/can handle. Currently, this is all just hypothetical as we just have 1 baby (under a year old). But things are going so well and we're both so loving being parents thus far that I've been thinking a lot about how many we ultimately want to have (yes, I know we don't have control over this but in an ideal world...). We are both 30 so we have some time but I'd love to have 4 kids (and be done having kids before I'm 40) and so I don't want to wait too long! Meanwhile, my husband thinks we should only have 2 kids. He only has 1 sibling, each of his parents only has 1 sibling...it's his 'norm' He's also more concerned than I am about money, I think primarily because he grew up not having much $$ whereas I grew up fairly wealthy so he understandably worries more about finances than I do but I think I'm pretty realistic about finances too. We currently are doing just fine-- no debt and both have stable, lucrative careers.

Anyone out there have a similar situation and were you ever able to get your spouse agree to have more kids? If so, what types of things helped you convince them?

Anonymous wrote:4 kids is pretty disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:I would encourage you to take this decisionkid by kid.

We originally though we wanted 4 kids. We ended up with 3 kids in 4 years. I love where we are with 3. It's a lot of work but it's working for me. My husband still wants a 4th but I'm on the fence. my pregnancies have gotten progressively harder with the last one ending with a stressful induction due to possible pre-eclampsia. My body has also had a harder time recovering--this 3rd baby really did a number on my abs. Also, I'm tired. I'm happy but tired.

I think with 3 I can manage cooking and laundry and still be present in all activities and I worry with a 4th, I'll lose that balance and feel more like a maid.

I'm not saying you'll have the same experience as me but it's possible that with each kid (and the phases they will each go through) you may change your mind about how many you want.

It's fun to dream and plan but I think kids is an area to wait and see...

Anonymous wrote:4 kids is pretty disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about trickery or forcing him into the decision or into having kids that he doesn't really want. It is not something I take lightly and I realize how important it is for us both to be in agreement about how many kids we want/can handle. Currently, this is all just hypothetical as we just have 1 baby (under a year old). But things are going so well and we're both so loving being parents thus far that I've been thinking a lot about how many we ultimately want to have (yes, I know we don't have control over this but in an ideal world...). We are both 30 so we have some time but I'd love to have 4 kids (and be done having kids before I'm 40) and so I don't want to wait too long! Meanwhile, my husband thinks we should only have 2 kids. He only has 1 sibling, each of his parents only has 1 sibling...it's his 'norm' He's also more concerned than I am about money, I think primarily because he grew up not having much $$ whereas I grew up fairly wealthy so he understandably worries more about finances than I do but I think I'm pretty realistic about finances too. We currently are doing just fine-- no debt and both have stable, lucrative careers.

Anyone out there have a similar situation and were you ever able to get your spouse agree to have more kids? If so, what types of things helped you convince them?

He sounds more sensible than you. I agree with PP -- two is a totally different ballgame. Have the second one -- then think about it. Also, sit down and write down monthly expenses with 4 kids...it's pretty breathtaking.

OP here: yes, he is certainly more sensible than I am. Good advice about writing down monthly expenses w/ 4. I assume you have 4 kids based on your response. Are you glad you had 4 or do you wish you had stuck w/ 1, 2 or 3 (obviously I'm not asking if you regret any of your actual children specifically but do you regret having that many kids for practical reasons?)