Sorry but I agree with the pp above - I don't think this is normal. I have a 5 year old. I agree that looking at yourself at that age and maybe touching yourself is normal. Her doctor said even looking at others especially opposite sex is normal due to curiosity. But asking I be touched doesn't seem right to me. I would definitely let the other mother know although it will be tough. I would also talk to the pedritrician to get some more information on this and normal vs not.

Wait...what?

Maybe I'm a prude, but the invitation to touch her seems totally inappropriate and screams abuse to me. While it's normal for children to be curious about their bodies, I am concerned by the fact that the other little girl asked your daughter to touch her. Where did she get the idea, especially the idea that that sort of touching is a game. I don't think it's normal at all and would be concerned that someone else had played that sort of game with her.

Anonymous wrote:Not a big deal. Reiterate with her that in the future she should say to a friend "I don't want to play that, let's play Chase/House/Dolls/Whatever."

This. You need to give her the tools to do/say/introduce something else. I am sure she remembered your instructions, but was clueless on what to do next. This wasn't threatening to her, kwim? Also, she says she didn't pull down her pants, so it sounds like she was just put on the spot and didn't know what to do.

So just remind her about what you said, and then tell her to say something like the pp said.

completely normal

Not a big deal. Reiterate with her that in the future she should say to a friend "I don't want to play that, let's play Chase/House/Dolls/Whatever."

Anonymous wrote:This is so normal for this age. I wouldn't even bring it up with the other mother. There's nothing to freak about.

+1

This is so normal for this age. I wouldn't even bring it up with the other mother. There's nothing to freak about.

Very normal at this age. Don't freak out. Kids are curious, kids know doctors check that area, it's not far fetched. If you don't make a big deal out of neither will your child.

Totally normal.
Talk to your friend, but in a normal, supportive, between friends way. Don't freak out on her. It's just information for a mom to know, not a complaint (or worse).

Yeah, I'm a little afraid of what will happen if you tell the other mom.

This is normal, OP. Certainly not a reason to freak out or cause drama. Talk to your daughter again but don't make a bigger deal out of it than you need to.

This is so normal.

I remember a little show and tell with a boy neighbor, no touching. I was so damn curious to actually see a penis! maybe a little oldr than 5 but not much. I remember it but not in a weird way, as a curious "oh thats what it is" kind of way. We did hide behind a shed so we obviously knew that our moms would not be happy.

I remember a kindergarten classmate doing something similar. Not touching, i think, just showing.

While getting ready for bed tonight, 5yr old DD mentioned that during a recent playdate her best friend pulled down her own underwear and told DD to touch her. According to my DD, she did what she was told but did no reciprocate by removing her own underwear. We have always talked about what our private parts are, that they are our's alone, and we shouldn't touch others or let anyone touch our's. Instead, she should always say no and tell us if something like that happened. I reassured her that I wasn't mad, and in fact that I'm glad she told me and can always tell me anything, but that she needs to know that it isn't okay, even if her friend told her to do it.

I'm totally freaked out. Obviously I need to tell the friend's mom, who is herself a good friend of mine. I'm also scared that despite years of talk about no-touch and so on, that all it took was her best friend to tell her something and she did it.

Please offer any advice or insight as to what to do next. Is this part of normal childhood curiosity, that we need to discourage but not make into major drama, or is this reason for serious concern and need to find help for our child. This is such an important thing, and I'm caught off guard since I felt as if we had inoculated DD against this sort of thing.