OP: Does you have the ability to check on your child's homework/grades online? Keep a close eye on her and talk to her about upcoming projects and tests and her strategies of getting all the work done. While middle school grades don't count in the high school GPA, the grades do matter. Most schools require an A/B grade to take the following year's Honor courses.

Have you taught her how to organize her time? How to prioritize? You say she has been forgetful in the past. For some, this comes naturally, for others, this needs to be taught.

I would to the post-mortem, but then figure out with her what she needs to do to be better organized. Bat Mitzvah and a crush are no excuse to not do ANY work for 3-4 weeks.

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, it sounds pretty typical. She had a lot going on and her time management skills weren't up to snuff. I'd use it as a learning experience and help her prioritize things and manager her time more efficiently. Sit down with her, do a post mortem eval, and she can figure out ways to get her assignments done in the future. I wouldn't sweat the actual grades so much, MS grades aren't that big of a deal. But she'll need to manage her time better in HS as things tend to get busier and more hectic.

I agree with this. She had a lot going on, and 13 is hard for girls. She may have also, without even realizing it, been curious as to what would happen if she let it all slide. I think your instincts are on track, OP.

I would expect my child to be able to articulate what happened and why, and what the plan is for getting caught up and helping to prevent it from happening again. I don't think there's any need for a penalty in this case - you said your child's already disappointed in her performance and is typically a good student. She understands it was a temporary blip, she knows why it happened. The important lesson to my mind is how she can identify her grades slipping next time. She will have other periods of intense activity, and she may have just discovered she has trouble juggling multiple balls. That's excellent information! I'd have her brainstorm with your help ways of identifying she's entering a difficult spot, and ways to help make sure she doesn't crash and burn.

Sounds like you have a great kid!

I would take her phone away or only allow her to have it one hour a day. I would not take away soccer.

I would not punish her but I would keep a very close eye. Even with the bat mitzvah middle school is early to be hitting this kind of wall and this could be an early warning for problems when the demands increase in high school.

To be honest, it sounds pretty typical. She had a lot going on and her time management skills weren't up to snuff. I'd use it as a learning experience and help her prioritize things and manager her time more efficiently. Sit down with her, do a post mortem eval, and she can figure out ways to get her assignments done in the future. I wouldn't sweat the actual grades so much, MS grades aren't that big of a deal. But she'll need to manage her time better in HS as things tend to get busier and more hectic.

Anonymous wrote:She had been all A's and B's. But, she was prone to losing assignments/forgetting to turn them in. She is also a bit burnt out....

It sounds like she needs a little bit of a slower schedule and maybe some coaching on organization. She probably got overwhelmed and gave up trying to keep up with everything. Middle school is where a lot of kids have to really step up their organization and time management skills, and it may help to give her a more explicit system of managing her time.

Have you asked her what was going on? What does she think the problem was? At 13, I would give her strong input in this discussion. I would probably start with something like, "ok, so I know you're not really happy with your performance this quarter. Want to talk about that and figure out what happened so we can make a plan to change it or prevent it in the future? Your teachers say you didn't really do much for a few weeks there. That's probably not going to work very well to get a result much different from this one. What do you think was up with that? Did you have too much going on, or what?"

If it's like you say and she already knows there was a problem and wants to improve, it's possible she has a pretty good idea of what needs to happen.

I would definitely restrict privileges and let her know that this is not okay with you for any reason. It is never okay to let your grades slip and millions of kids every year manage to keep up with their school work while prepping for their Bar Mitzvahs.

It had been pretty intense, but thins out with Bat Mitzvah prep being done. She has Soccer 2 nights and Piano...I do not want to cut out the physical activity (Soccer).

What is her after school schedule like? activities are a privilege that gets earned with hard work at school, I would cut back if necessary to make sure she has time for homework (and to be a kid!)

She had been all A's and B's. But, she was prone to losing assignments/forgetting to turn them in. She is also a bit burnt out....

I dunno... I would keep a very close eye on her mental health. How was her academic performance prior to this?

My DD will be bringing home her worst report card yet. Based on the reports from the teachers, she did virtually no work for about 3-4 weeks, and had to overcome zeros for those homework grades. Tests and projects (after the gap) were still decent (A's and B's). She is not happy about her performance - she knows she screwed up. But there was a lot going on in her life at that moment: 1) She was in final preparations for her Bat Mitzvah (she did great!), and 2) she was was dealing with her first real crush. My thinking is to give her a pass with the report card...heck, in the 7th grade, it does not matter anyway (long term), assuming she has learned her lesson (and she is disappointed in her academic performance). March (into April) were not typical, and were stressful.