I wouldn't let her go. But personally I wouldn let Her go to college either. Yes she can attend higher education but only under my roof. Curfew 9 pm no driving after dark

When I went on college tours for prospective students at age 16 and 17 (granted, this was a WHILE ago), there were several schools that had school-sponsored parties or mixers that had loads of alcohol. In other words, I got to experiment right off the bat before I'd even graduated from HS with that environment and making choices. NOT that I advocate giving 17 and 18 yr old HS students copious amounts of alcohol at school-sponsored events. I'm just saying what happened, and I think in the end it is ENTIRELY about what you know about your child. Me, I was already calling most of my social shots from 16 on (long story, but I had very little supervision), but I liked being in control and knew there was danger out there, so I never got out of control. But I had peers who were drinking from 14 or 15 and their parents had no idea, and of course they went wilding when the got to college, and it was bad. If their parents had been more communicative wiht them while they lived at home, they probably could have had much better conversations about responsible choices.

So that leaves me feeling like you know your child OP. Sounds like you've had the key conversations with her - I think you need to think about what 2 or 3 things you're most concerned about, talk to your DD first and then her BF and her together abotu the trip, and then let them go. I assume your DD has a cell phone? Also encourage her to be in contact with you if ANYTHING at all makes her uncomfortable or she's worried about anything.

Then process her trip when she gets back, so you know whether to trust her even more next time, or change her college options to only local schools and lock her at home.





JOKING about the last part!!!

I think your concerns and realistic outlook for what will most likely happen over that weekend away are both very valid. That being said I would address those concerns with your daughter, but let her make the final decision on whether to go or not.

I agree. Let her go. I traveled with my one year older boyfriend when I was her age. I was really glad my mom let me go.

she's 18......let her go

Nope. No. Sorry, no go.

My DD did this at this age. I read her the riot act before she left and while I don;t know what she did because I wasn't there, it was fine as far as I could tell. I think at 18 they can have that kind of freedom.

The thing is when you're in college, you can leave a party and go home back to your dorm. She won't have that option here. I would lean toward saying no.

Have you asked her what she thinks about it? How much does she want to go, why does she want to go, what does she think the potential problems might be, how would she plan to handle those problems, and so on.

Just say no. Otherwise you're nuts.

Do you trust her not to drink?

Do you trust her to never, ever, under any circumstance, get in a car who's driven by someone who has had alcohol?

If the answers to both questions is yes, then I'd let her go.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP above. "You have four months left at home. Focus on your longtime friends who'll all be scattering come late August. If in September when you're away at college, you still want to go on a trip with this boy, then go and be safe."

NP. I agree. Depending on how mature and responsible the 20yo is- I might allow it with a long talk about staying safe, not drinking too much, not driving, and making sure he has got to make sure she is safe. Also make sure she understands the risk she could be in if she drinks too much.

Whether this happens today or in 6 months- she's going to start making choices about alcohol, drugs, and parties.

I'd probably discourage it but understand the blind-eye as well.

Agree with PP above. "You have four months left at home. Focus on your longtime friends who'll all be scattering come late August. If in September when you're away at college, you still want to go on a trip with this boy, then go and be safe."

I have a college freshman DD. This is a situation where I think I'd use my "not till you're in college when I don't have to be a part of it" no. I'm realistic about what goes on, but I still enjoy and utilize my occasional blind eye.

DD (18) is my oldest. I have no problem with her dating a guy 2 years older. She is a HS senior, he is a college sophomore (local). He visits friends occasionally in other areas/at other colleges. He wants her to go on one of these trips with him. It would be an overnight trip. I know he drinks when he visits friends. The reason I do not want her going is due to the drinking. I am afraid she will get in to legal problems while she away (party gets busted, etc - anything can happen at a party with underage drinking). I am concerned about safety - something happening to her as a result of her drinking. I do not approve of underage drinking, but I am a realist and I know what happens at college parties. She knows about never taking a drink from something that has left her hand/she did not open. We have all the bases covered as far as sex and protecting herself. I just think this trip has the potential for so many problems. But she will be in college in 4 months, and after reading the "mixer" thread, I am not sure if I am being properly cautious, or some kind of overboard nut case. ANY input here??