Separate. Used to be hybrid. DH had a huge financial infidelity which caused me to separate everything. I understand I'm still technically liable by law for his poor judgment but it does emphasize it's on him, and if he makes future poor choices, he'll have to ask to get it fixed. It hurt as much as him fooling around on the side. Bad bad choices. If it happens again it will end our relationship.

We have a joint checking account and joint savings account, and then we each have a personal checking account and savings account.

We figured out how much our joint expenses are (bills, entertainment, gifts, vacations, gas and car repairs, health expenses -- basically, anything we have a shared vested interest in) and we put that amount into the joint checking every month, split according to our salaries. He makes two-thirds of our total HHI, so he puts in two-thirds of this monthly joint amount.

Whenever that joint checking account is flush with cash, we transfer some to the joint savings.

We pay for our own expenses (clothes, hobbies, entertainment with separate friends) with our personal credit cards, which we pay off from our personal checking accounts.

We don't have children, but if we did, obviously their expenses would be paid jointly, according to our salaries -- him two-thirds, me one-third.

Separate accounts. They are "joined" only in the sense we can transfer money between them, but cannot see the the others' account detail (balance, transactions, etc.). He pays mortgages, tuition and utilities. I pay groceries, household items, clothes for kids, etc. I do keep a copy of his checkbook to write checks for him if needed (seems to get a lot of speed camera tickets!).

Anonymous wrote:Hybrid.

Separate accounts, that the other is a joint owner, but neither has a debit/credit card for the joint account. Bills are evenly split. Any large joint expense is evenly split. Large meaning greater than 1k.

I REFUSE not to have my own money, for two reasons: 1) I've seen too many friends stay in a failing marriage due to lack of funds. Or their spouse does more discretionary spending (via expensive hobbies), and they end up with some level of resentment, 2) my husband likes to give extra money to his mom. His mom can't manage her own funds, even though she has them. Now that we have separate accounts, I'm not as bothered by his gifting.

P.S. We have similar annual earnings.

Ditto. DH "loans" money to his friends out of his account and I don't have to know or think about it.

2 checking accts. that are technically joint but that we manage separately. One joint savings for emergency fund/savings. DH is a little more spendy than I am, and I prefer staying out of his checking account so I don't nitpick every little thing. I think joint is all fine, but it can make one person the money manager, and I like that we both are. And I like that I can save up and buy him something, and it feels like a real gift, and vice versa. We never argue about money, so I never feel too motivated to change things just because other people might think it strange.

One joint checking account, from which we pay all shared expenses. We each have a credit card that we use for shared expenses and pay those from the joint checking. We also have a shared savings account, which holds money we received when we married and anything else we've managed to save since we got married.

We also have separate checking and savings accounts that we had before we met; we each keep some money in those, and have other credits cards that we use for the occasional personal expense. (e.g., I had brunch and went shopping with girlfriends today; I put that on my personal card.)

Twice a month, $150 of my paycheck is direct-deposited into my personal checking and the rest goes into our joint account. My husband is self-employed and is paid in lump sums a few times a year. When he gets a check, he sets some aside for taxes, some for business expenses, and the rest goes into our joint accounts.

We've been doing it this way for almost a year, and I think it works pretty well. I don't worry about who's paying what anymore. Even though I'm earning more, it just feels more even.

Anonymous wrote:Joint everything. Didn't even consider split accounts. However we see eye to eye on finances and have similar spending habits. We have never argued about money. If it were a source of contention maybe we would go with split.

+1

Separate accounts (that we have each other's name on). Makes life easier because we manage money differently. So we split bills in a way we find fair and each pays our respective bills. DH ususally puts a specific amount into our long term savings/ emergency acct. But we've accounted for that when we split the bills. Any leftover, we can spend however we want.

I always thought joint accounts was a sign of commitment to marriage. But this has shown me that's not the case. Even when I was unemployed, it was 'our' money. DH was never stingy or made me feel like he was in charge and I had no say.

We're joint partly for convenience, partly philosophically, and partly because when we started out together we would have been bouncing checks left and right if we hadn't pooled everything (just the phrase "bouncing checks" probably tells you how many years ago that was).

Every account and bill has both of our names on them. Always been that way.

Joint everything. Didn't even consider split accounts. However we see eye to eye on finances and have similar spending habits. We have never argued about money. If it were a source of contention maybe we would go with split.

Anonymous wrote:Joint everything for us.

same here. always have.

Joint everything for us.

Hybrid.

Separate accounts, that the other is a joint owner, but neither has a debit/credit card for the joint account. Bills are evenly split. Any large joint expense is evenly split. Large meaning greater than 1k.

I REFUSE not to have my own money, for two reasons: 1) I've seen too many friends stay in a failing marriage due to lack of funds. Or their spouse does more discretionary spending (via expensive hobbies), and they end up with some level of resentment, 2) my husband likes to give extra money to his mom. His mom can't manage her own funds, even though she has them. Now that we have separate accounts, I'm not as bothered by his gifting.

P.S. We have similar annual earnings.

How many of you who are married have joint accounts versus separate ones versus some hybrid (please describe)

Why did you choose the approach you did?

My husband and I have joint accounts for everything, save one separate credit card each that we rarely use (and keep primarily to buy gifts for each other). We do it this way because it is just easier and also puts a lot less strain on things than having my money and his money separate. I often feel as if separate accounts say something about how much a couole trusts each other. They also seem pointless from a self-protection standpoint because, in a divorce, everything is on the table to be split.

Thoughts?