It sounds like when the sibling moved in it was more for the benefit of the sibling than the parents. Was there a unique situation that dove this? Recent divorce? Lost job? Never quite found the right place in the workplace? Mental health issue? Does not know how to manage money?

What changes that the sibling is no longer able to pay the mortgage? What are the sibling's plans after the house is sold?

If you were to walk away, how would you feel 5 years from now? 10 years from now?

Will one sibling be a hold out and feel bullied into signing over?

Why do the siblings need to sign over - cant the estate sell the property and people decide what to do with their proceeds? (gift to sibling or not)

OP here. DH's parents were in their early 70's and did not really require much. They were still very much mobile and self sufficient (with jobs). One parent died before the other when sibling moved in. This is not a case of caring for an elderly parent. More of a roommate situation with added bonus of making sure surving parent was OK by themselves. Each sibling would probably net more than 40 but less than 100k each after expenses. Thanks for the advice.

Selll the house and split it 4 ways. They are all equal owners. The child who lived there can probably argue that they might get a little bit more benefit if they paid the mortgage.

If there are multiple siblings, then is is not likely yo result in much cash. Walk away. Not destroys family relationships quite like arguing over money. It isn't worth it.

I would agree to give the sibling a little more ($10,000-20,000) because of the caregiving but not because he choose to maintain the house. Acknowledge he did care for his parents and what hard work it is. It doesn't sound so difficult or hard till you did it. Nursing homes are very expensive and not so great. Its nice the parents got to remain in their home with family. I wouldn't expect him to pay rent or resent him for that. I'd be grateful. (we took care of my MIL till we got her into a nursing home as my husband's brother who lived near her refused - it isn't easy).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the period before the parents passed. He got free lodging, but he also was providing care giving. Treat that as a wash. IMO, all that matters is the period since they passed. For that, figure out the likely value of the house how, and the total of all the mortgage payments the sibling has made. When the house sells, sibling gets reimbursed first for all mortgage payments, and the balance is divided among all the siblings. If there won't be anything left after mortgage payments (or the amount will be de minimis), other siblings should just sign the house over to the one living there to make it simpler.

Was sibling also paying for repairs?

And property taxes?

Mortgage includes property taxes in the vast majority of situations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the period before the parents passed. He got free lodging, but he also was providing care giving. Treat that as a wash. IMO, all that matters is the period since they passed. For that, figure out the likely value of the house how, and the total of all the mortgage payments the sibling has made. When the house sells, sibling gets reimbursed first for all mortgage payments, and the balance is divided among all the siblings. If there won't be anything left after mortgage payments (or the amount will be de minimis), other siblings should just sign the house over to the one living there to make it simpler.

Was sibling also paying for repairs?

And property taxes?

What kind of numbers are you looking at, op? What is the value of the house? The remaining mortgage? How many siblings total? Were there other assets previously distributed?

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the period before the parents passed. He got free lodging, but he also was providing care giving. Treat that as a wash. IMO, all that matters is the period since they passed. For that, figure out the likely value of the house how, and the total of all the mortgage payments the sibling has made. When the house sells, sibling gets reimbursed first for all mortgage payments, and the balance is divided among all the siblings. If there won't be anything left after mortgage payments (or the amount will be de minimis), other siblings should just sign the house over to the one living there to make it simpler.

Was sibling also paying for repairs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the period before the parents passed. He got free lodging, but he also was providing care giving. Treat that as a wash. IMO, all that matters is the period since they passed. For that, figure out the likely value of the house how, and the total of all the mortgage payments the sibling has made. When the house sells, sibling gets reimbursed first for all mortgage payments, and the balance is divided among all the siblings. If there won't be anything left after mortgage payments (or the amount will be de minimis), other siblings should just sign the house over to the one living there to make it simpler.

No it is not a wash. Unless the rent, utilities, food in a similar house was upwards of 10k/month. We had to pay to have someone with MIL 24hrs/7 days a week and it was $25/hour. Almost 15k/month. And she didn't required lots of "caregiving." She then moved into an assisted living facility and it was about 10k/month.

Yeah, caregiving is worth 125k a year, if it was full time. Rent is unlikely to be more than 20k a year. The value of the caregiving is worth more than rent.

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the period before the parents passed. He got free lodging, but he also was providing care giving. Treat that as a wash. IMO, all that matters is the period since they passed. For that, figure out the likely value of the house how, and the total of all the mortgage payments the sibling has made. When the house sells, sibling gets reimbursed first for all mortgage payments, and the balance is divided among all the siblings. If there won't be anything left after mortgage payments (or the amount will be de minimis), other siblings should just sign the house over to the one living there to make it simpler.

No it is not a wash. Unless the rent, utilities, food in a similar house was upwards of 10k/month. We had to pay to have someone with MIL 24hrs/7 days a week and it was $25/hour. Almost 15k/month. And she didn't required lots of "caregiving." She then moved into an assisted living facility and it was about 10k/month.

Ignore the period before the parents passed. He got free lodging, but he also was providing care giving. Treat that as a wash. IMO, all that matters is the period since they passed. For that, figure out the likely value of the house how, and the total of all the mortgage payments the sibling has made. When the house sells, sibling gets reimbursed first for all mortgage payments, and the balance is divided among all the siblings. If there won't be anything left after mortgage payments (or the amount will be de minimis), other siblings should just sign the house over to the one living there to make it simpler.

The fair solution is sibling gets their share of the profits once it sells plus principle paid for however many of the last years he/she paid the mortgage. What is left is divided among the rest of the siblings.

How much is this home worth after the sale? (In other words, what would you walk away with?) I'm betting it's not much, especially if the house still has a mortgage, which the resident sibling was paying for several years.

You didn't have to pay for the care of your MIl, and the resident sibling actually already has a financial stake in the house. Walk away.

DH's parents died a few years ago. One of his siblings took up residence in the family home during the last years of their life and afterwords as a pseudo caregiver but also lived for free most of the time. After their death DH and the other kids let the sibling continue to live at the residence but they all remained equal owners on paper. The sibling just assumed the mortgage because they could afford it at the time. Fast forward and sibling can no longer afford it (neither can anyone else) and wants to sell and is trying to get the other beneficiaries to sign over the property and forfeit their share. Everyone has different priorities and financial situations. WWYD?