Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would likely work out fine. But, we did an anonymous egg donation and I think that is also a great choice. You will feel connected to the baby because you carried it, because you decided to be the mother and because of all the day to day stuff that actually makes up motherhood. Genetics are only as important as you choose to make them.

Genetics actually mean a lot to me - in part because our grandparents were Holocaust survivors and as a result we don't have a lot of blood relatives, so I really want to carry those genes forward.

Wow - that has to be one of the most nonsensical reasons I have ever heard! And I am Jewish with one set of grandparents who lost everyone in the Holocaust.

Our genes are not any more special than anyone elses and propagating does nothing to bring back our ancestors!!!

What can I say? It's important to me. I would like for my child to have Jewish genes, and additionally, if there's a way to "keep it in the family," that's what I would choose.

Then you find a Jewish donor. While I agree it is nice, its not the end of the world not to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would likely work out fine. But, we did an anonymous egg donation and I think that is also a great choice. You will feel connected to the baby because you carried it, because you decided to be the mother and because of all the day to day stuff that actually makes up motherhood. Genetics are only as important as you choose to make them.

Genetics actually mean a lot to me - in part because our grandparents were Holocaust survivors and as a result we don't have a lot of blood relatives, so I really want to carry those genes forward.

Wow - that has to be one of the most nonsensical reasons I have ever heard! And I am Jewish with one set of grandparents who lost everyone in the Holocaust.

Our genes are not any more special than anyone elses and propagating does nothing to bring back our ancestors!!!

This, we lost much of our family too and have a small family. We adopted and its a non-issue. I have never once been as concerned with sharing my genetics. I would never ask a family member as some will in the long term be ok with it, but others may not. Also, it will completely depend on the child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would likely work out fine. But, we did an anonymous egg donation and I think that is also a great choice. You will feel connected to the baby because you carried it, because you decided to be the mother and because of all the day to day stuff that actually makes up motherhood. Genetics are only as important as you choose to make them.

Genetics actually mean a lot to me - in part because our grandparents were Holocaust survivors and as a result we don't have a lot of blood relatives, so I really want to carry those genes forward.

Wow - that has to be one of the most nonsensical reasons I have ever heard! And I am Jewish with one set of grandparents who lost everyone in the Holocaust.

Our genes are not any more special than anyone elses and propagating does nothing to bring back our ancestors!!!

What can I say? It's important to me. I would like for my child to have Jewish genes, and additionally, if there's a way to "keep it in the family," that's what I would choose.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would likely work out fine. But, we did an anonymous egg donation and I think that is also a great choice. You will feel connected to the baby because you carried it, because you decided to be the mother and because of all the day to day stuff that actually makes up motherhood. Genetics are only as important as you choose to make them.

Genetics actually mean a lot to me - in part because our grandparents were Holocaust survivors and as a result we don't have a lot of blood relatives, so I really want to carry those genes forward.

Wow - that has to be one of the most nonsensical reasons I have ever heard! And I am Jewish with one set of grandparents who lost everyone in the Holocaust.

Our genes are not any more special than anyone elses and propagating does nothing to bring back our ancestors!!!

Anonymous wrote:I think it would likely work out fine. But, we did an anonymous egg donation and I think that is also a great choice. You will feel connected to the baby because you carried it, because you decided to be the mother and because of all the day to day stuff that actually makes up motherhood. Genetics are only as important as you choose to make them.

Genetics actually mean a lot to me - in part because our grandparents were Holocaust survivors and as a result we don't have a lot of blood relatives, so I really want to carry those genes forward.

I think it would likely work out fine. But, we did an anonymous egg donation and I think that is also a great choice. You will feel connected to the baby because you carried it, because you decided to be the mother and because of all the day to day stuff that actually makes up motherhood. Genetics are only as important as you choose to make them.

Anonymous wrote:My SIL did it for her older sister. My SIL is no closer to that kid than she is any of her other nieces and nephews.

OP here - that's kind of how my sister feels at this point. She's not at a stage in her life where she's ready for her own children. I would carry the baby. She and I look very much alike - people say we have "the same face" - so it's not like she'd necessarily see only herself every time she looked at the child.

My SIL did it for her older sister. My SIL is no closer to that kid than she is any of her other nieces and nephews.

I don't think anyone can predict or inform you how this will "shake out" in your individual and unique sibling relationship anymore than we can predict how your marriage will shake out or your future child will turn out. There are families where this would have lasting permanent explosive implications and families where this would be a never to be mentioned bit of background information. You need a lawyer to instruct you on legal issues and a bioethicist as well.

Please read this, OP, and ask your sister to read it.
http://mom.me/blog/14818-parents-raising-my-eggs/

As a man I would be as connected to that baby as I am my own children with the only difference being the emotional distance. But, as a man I didn't go through a pregnancy with the baby being a part of my body. I wonder how a woman who donates an egg but someone carries the baby to term would feel.

You'll need to check with your fertility clinic as well. Many discourage siblings from donating and require sessions with a counselor before proceeding.

You sister and you should see a counselor together and discuss the long term implications before doing this.

I think it really comes down to her and you. Personally I could do this and never give it another thought. Other people couldn't.

Wondering how this shakes out in the long run. I may need an egg and I have a young sister who may be willing to give me one, but I'm not sure she's even old enough (mid-20s) to comprehend what it means in the big-picture, long-term sense. Has anyone here been through this?