Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, DH is most of the time on his laptop or cell phone.
He seems to be in his own world when conversations are going around in the house.
When I directly talked to him today about some gardening stuff, he just walked away as though I am not talking to him.
How to deal with this?
He seems to actively participate in conversations with his friends.

Spend some money on something for yourself that you ordinarily wouldn't buy. BUT, before you do mention this to him when you know he isn't really listening. When he questions you about the purchase let him know you did tell him about it but apparently he wasn't listening. LOL

OP here.
Thank you for this comment. It did make me smile.
DH is aware of this that I can never bring myself to go and randomly buy expensive jewellery or clothing for myself.

You're welcome.

And perhaps it's time to bring yourself to buy .....

I think he's tuning out because he's just not interested. Use fewer words. Women take 3 paragraphs of explanation of our thoughts to say what could be said in 6 words. Men only want the 6 words.

I would say "Hello? Hello? Earth to Larlo?"

It sounds like he takes you for granted and doesn't think much of you. I used to get that from mine. He was always in his own world, on his computer etc. Always totally checked out and self-medicating with whatever fantasy or distractions he could fixate on. Once I'd had enough (he had other negative behaviors as well), and he realized he no longer had me to take for granted, his attitude did a 180 and he sought help.

Go talk to him while he's in the shower. Nowhere to run.

I do think it kind of depends on whether you have his attention in the first place. If I am in the middle if something, I won't always catch the start of what is said to me, and if it's not clear the speech is addressed to me (ie there are kids or other people in the room) I may not realize it is. If that's happening, meet him halfway and realize you may be unfairly "interrupting" him even if he's not talking.

That said, this sounds like something different. But the description is ambiguous enough that I thought I'd throw the thought out. Always good to consider whether someone may deserve the benefit of the doubt.

When my DH does this, I stand and stare at him until he asks why I am staring. Then I respond that I am waiting for him to begin listening to me. He usually responds defensively that he is listening, and then I say "I'm glad you're listening." And then I say what I wanted to say.

I also don't begin speaking to him without getting his attention. A lot of men have a hard time multi-tasking, so I try to meet him halfway on this one.

Tell him that it bothers you, and that you aren't going to yell. Anything that he doesn't hear because he's not paying attention, you are going to assume that he agrees with. If he wants input into things, he needs to listen to you.

Get an affirmative statement that he is listening before you start relaying information.

Tell him something, and then act as though he heard and agreed. Doesn't have to be buying something for yourself--if you told him your plans for the garden, then go ahead and buy/plant whatever you said you would. Tell him that you're meeting some friends for drinks after work, then do it. Tell him you are going to buy a new KitchenAid, then do it. If he says anything, remind him that you told him.

Send him an email. OR while talking to him randomly throw in the word naked or nipple or start to moan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, DH is most of the time on his laptop or cell phone.
He seems to be in his own world when conversations are going around in the house.
When I directly talked to him today about some gardening stuff, he just walked away as though I am not talking to him.
How to deal with this?
He seems to actively participate in conversations with his friends.

Spend some money on something for yourself that you ordinarily wouldn't buy. BUT, before you do mention this to him when you know he isn't really listening. When he questions you about the purchase let him know you did tell him about it but apparently he wasn't listening. LOL

+1. I got some really nice stuff for the house I knew he wouldn't otherwise have been on board with before he started listening, and now he actually listens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, DH is most of the time on his laptop or cell phone.
He seems to be in his own world when conversations are going around in the house.
When I directly talked to him today about some gardening stuff, he just walked away as though I am not talking to him.
How to deal with this?
He seems to actively participate in conversations with his friends.

Spend some money on something for yourself that you ordinarily wouldn't buy. BUT, before you do mention this to him when you know he isn't really listening. When he questions you about the purchase let him know you did tell him about it but apparently he wasn't listening. LOL

OP here.
Thank you for this comment. It did make me smile.
DH is aware of this that I can never bring myself to go and randomly buy expensive jewellery or clothing for myself.

Anonymous wrote:Well, DH is most of the time on his laptop or cell phone.
He seems to be in his own world when conversations are going around in the house.
When I directly talked to him today about some gardening stuff, he just walked away as though I am not talking to him.
How to deal with this?
He seems to actively participate in conversations with his friends.

Spend some money on something for yourself that you ordinarily wouldn't buy. BUT, before you do mention this to him when you know he isn't really listening. When he questions you about the purchase let him know you did tell him about it but apparently he wasn't listening. LOL

Anonymous wrote:Yell

this just works one time. Then the next day, I get the same behavior.
I can't yell everyday. It is tiring.

Yell

Well, DH is most of the time on his laptop or cell phone.
He seems to be in his own world when conversations are going around in the house.
When I directly talked to him today about some gardening stuff, he just walked away as though I am not talking to him.
How to deal with this?
He seems to actively participate in conversations with his friends.