21

I'd allow a little big in high school, maybe 16 or 17 years old. This just takes some of the mystery off and allows for actually teaching how to drink alcohol. I think waiting for them to discover it at age 21 is just dangerous.

When they're in college.

Age 21. My parents were the same with me. Perhaps at a wedding or other significant event, if I wanted one sip of wine, I could have one. But not a drop more. I didn't even really start drinking wine casually with my parents until I was about 24 or 25 and out of college -- it just seemed awkward still.

We don't drink much in our home but I vividly remember the kids who had their very first experiences with alcohol when they got to college. It was not pretty. My child is very young, so we'll see how it works out but I expect that it will be at some reasonable point before the end of high school.

With the first kid it was 21. With the second it was 19. Before that we were strict, other than a little champagne on New Year's Eve.

DH and I have wine with dinner about 3x/week. The kids either have apple or grape juice to match our wine. They've asked if they could have a sip of our juice. We give it to them. They say yuck and go back to their drinks.

DH has 2 older kids. He's been allowing them to sip off of his drinks since they were kids. Mostly they said yuck and went back to a regular drink. The oldest starting asking for his own drink after freshman year in college.

I think the trick is to not make it a taboo thing.

21

Once they went away to college, any time they came back they could drink*. Before that, they had to ask to drink from our glasses.

Although once the oldest had been to college when he came back he went through a phase of making alcoholic milkshakes and the high schooler was allowed to drink those.

*We are not a family that drinks on a nightly basis. If we are hosting a party there are drinks. If we have friends over there will probably be wine. My two college kids knew if they wanted to drink they were not going to drive that night. They could have friends over but couldn't go out. And no, we did not serve their 20 yr old friends alcohol unless the parents had also come over and they said it was also okay.

At 21.

I think 16 is good

21 is the goal. Definitely not before 18. My parents let us drink early, maybe 9 or 10. And I thought I'd do the same. But there are several studies emerging that link parent-sanctioned underage drinking to inappropriate use of alcohol as an adult.

When we visit the in-laws in Europe, the law states 16 years old in public. Its younger than that in private homes.

We will comply over there with their laws.

Over here? Its just silly, frankly.

I was allowed to have wine or Cider ( hard Cider, grew up in England) in my mid teens with a meal, special occasion or Sunday dinner type of meal.
I intend to allow my child to do the same.

When would/did you start to allow your DC to have an occasional alcoholic beverage (beer, wine, etc) to drink with you and other of-age relatives in your home? How did you come to your decision? When did your parents allow you to drink alcohol in their presence?