Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?

Move to a region of the country, like southern California, where your children can be outdoors all year, where there are people from many backgrounds and walks of life, where the people do all sorts of different things, and where everyone is generally happier, and certainly less intense.

I think LA is just as much of a rat race re HS/college admissions as Metro DC is at this point. Endless resume building and schlepping kids to lessons and academic pressure. My sibs still live in CA and their kids are confronting the same issues and attitudes there that mine are here.

OP here - Thanks everyone. Loving the fact that the advice hasn't been save more money, or do MORE activities.

We're west-coast originally and often have the grass-is-greener discussion, but we're managing here and try to be pretty laid-back with kids in terms of schedules and intensity. (Although we DO drink...)

I just want them happy, but reading this board, it feels so intense when you're going through this "what's the first step out of the home?" process.

If I had a time machine I would go back and get a mammogram sooner( maybe I would not be facing chemotherapy), I would spend more time with some family members before they passed away, and I would spend LESS time running around to so many activities with my kids. Do not spend your precious time with your kids worrying about the perfect college. Just encourage then to try different things, do well in school, and enjoy life and family time!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?

Move to a region of the country, like southern California, where your children can be outdoors all year, where there are people from many backgrounds and walks of life, where the people do all sorts of different things, and where everyone is generally happier, and certainly less intense.

The grass is always greener...

I would have just waited ten years to have them. Having them in my teens rather than my 20s means I simply didn't know a lot of things about what kids need. I'd have nursed longer, been more focused on them and bonding and attachment when they were babies,etc.

Anonymous wrote:No TV during the school week. I would have taken her to a tutor to help with her writing skills. I would have become more like a "tiger mom", I would have stopped drinking (I have now, but I should have done it sooner), I would have stopped the spankings. Lots of things done wrong. I actually wish I could have a do-over from the age of 18months. I look at her sometimes and say "I'm sorry" (in my head and heart). She has suffered because of so many mistakes I made.

Tell her in person. Out loud. She need to know she didn't deserve to be hit.

Wouldn't have chosen the most challenging high school. DC has done very well but success comes at the price of having little or no time/energy to explore and set your own challenges.

No TV during the school week. I would have taken her to a tutor to help with her writing skills. I would have become more like a "tiger mom", I would have stopped drinking (I have now, but I should have done it sooner), I would have stopped the spankings. Lots of things done wrong. I actually wish I could have a do-over from the age of 18months. I look at her sometimes and say "I'm sorry" (in my head and heart). She has suffered because of so many mistakes I made.

Anonymous wrote:Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?

Move to a region of the country, like southern California, where your children can be outdoors all year, where there are people from many backgrounds and walks of life, where the people do all sorts of different things, and where everyone is generally happier, and certainly less intense.

Anonymous wrote:Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?

Take them on a summer trip to India/Pakistan and China (rural areas) to show them real poverty and tell them if they don't shape up, that's where they'll end up. Show them that these kids are clawing their way to get to the station where your kid is so he/she has no excuses.

I would choose to enjoy their childhood. An elite college acceptance is not a guarantee of a happy outcome in life. Let the kid be a kid.

Would go further back and choose a far, far better man to be my husband and the father of my children.

Anonymous wrote:I would have to go back to age three- and I just do not have the energy frankly.

It's that bad?

I would have to go back to age three- and I just do not have the energy frankly.

Reading these admissions threads already have me feeling nauseous. If you were me, with a highly-distracted 7 year old who is going to be a challenge to get to focus on either sports or a musical instrument, and you could go back in time and do something differently (or the same, if it worked out well) -- what would you do over or do differently?