Anonymous wrote:But if you're divorcing, you need to sever the financial ties - the house would have to be split, right, or you'd have to buy him out? If you're broke, how could you buy him out?

Or are you thinking you'd retain the house, manage it, and once the house was sold (down the line) you'd give him the proceeds he'd be due as of this year?

I feel like you aren't thinking this through clearly and dispassionately and as you're packing you're having remorse, regret, and grief at how things have turned out.

It's possible retaining the house might might financial sense. But right now you're not making this argument from a place where you've run numbers and scenarios - you're making an emotional argument, based on bad emotions.

The only numbers I have not run are the numbers entailed with selling the house at a higher value down the line. If you have actual advice on that regard I would love to hear it.

But if you're divorcing, you need to sever the financial ties - the house would have to be split, right, or you'd have to buy him out? If you're broke, how could you buy him out?

Or are you thinking you'd retain the house, manage it, and once the house was sold (down the line) you'd give him the proceeds he'd be due as of this year?

I feel like you aren't thinking this through clearly and dispassionately and as you're packing you're having remorse, regret, and grief at how things have turned out.

It's possible retaining the house might might financial sense. But right now you're not making this argument from a place where you've run numbers and scenarios - you're making an emotional argument, based on bad emotions.

Anonymous wrote:i think it is incredibly clear that you should SELL. cut the tie both financially and emotionally as well as the need to be involved with him on a constant basis making decisions for a rental.

OP here. Yes, true. The reality is I would be doing all the work while he is off in lala land. Thats been the case for a while. The only advantage of that is that it would be me handling the rental. know its just nuts. My main reason for leaving was to protect my daughter and myself, once it all became clear what I was dealing with. The house and money didnt matter. Still kind of doesnt, but its still a house in a neighborhood unlikely to decline, and maybe some of the hassle of retaining it is worth it.

Besides, daughter is 8, so I have 10 more years of ties to him at a minimum.

i think it is incredibly clear that you should SELL. cut the tie both financially and emotionally as well as the need to be involved with him on a constant basis making decisions for a rental.

A bit long, but details are important. I need thoughts and impressions as well as facts from anyone who has made this kind of choice.

House is in Kensington. Separating/divorcing, but the selling of the house is to escape out of what I consider to be "only a matter of time" losing the house. This month will be the first missed mortgage ever. Credit has held steady despite huge credit card debt. Husband developed expensive addiction and helped run us into what looks to me like inevitable financial ruin. And he continues to underearn, and be an addict. He could pull forth more earning potential if his career jumpstarts work, But I have my reasons for doubt. I have to start over because I ran all the details of his business- didnt have own source of income.

I convinced him to sell the house was the only way to recover what little equity we have and pay off all the debts and start over. We would have to sell at somewhat below value because it needs some repairs, nothing major, but we are broke and cant afford anything. The house has such potential, we did do alot of work on it.

I feel like getting out of this house is important for me because he had become abusive and the house is filled with some bad memories. Our daughter was sad at first, but is ready to move. We will move in with family.

MY QUESTION: Would renting be a feasible way to retain the house? Im just sitting here with boxes, packing up 20 years of life in an utter state of disbelief at my husbands decline and what has come of it, and Ive resigned myself to what is to come. But maybe, just maybe, its SMART to retain a property in Kensington if at all possible. The market should improve over time and maybe we could afford the repairs down the line, and sell at a higher value later. Or keep it.

My husband has become an unbelievably nasty piece of work, narcissistic, completely in denial about the nightmare he has become, nasty to our kid, manipulative etc. Being financially liquidated from him in this way would be great.

But I just dont want to make a mistake selling the only thing I have part ownership over that has real value, esp. considering I have to start over at age 46.

There are no clearcut answers here, I just have noone I can talk to about this, and I am hoping someone here has some experience, etc. Thanks in advance!