I've also known women who do this. C-level exec married to an artist/actor/plumber.

+1 Yes, there are some men who create nuclear family fiefdoms. They usually suck as colleagues as they try to create another fiefdom in the office. Small minded, scared to collaborate and major self esteem issues.

I once had to listen to a colleague walk his unhinged helpless SAHM wife through a toddler discipline scenario. The "I'm calling your Dad" card was played. So 1950s.

My marriage ended because I'd been less than forthright in letting my DH know who I was before we married. I own that.

He grew angry and resentful as he came to understand my background. I fault him for not being proud of me instead of becoming petulant, but I also concede that I was being understated about my family background, education, relative wealth, life experience, cultural awareness,...general sophistication. He wanted a village wife and that's not me.

The sad thing is that I never worried about our mis-matched backgrounds. The only thing that mattered was what I thought was our shared values and the life we could build together.

I hear what you're saying, OP, although I would state it differently.

Anonymous wrote:Dc working women with high b level degrees in nonsense are very frumpy and argumentative.

Both of the guys I was thinking of live outside of DC.

The reason I'm asking is that while I don't have a problem dating it seems like men that are my equals prefer to date down. I'm not basing it on simply a description of the women but actually meeting them. So while a waitress can be smart, this one was not. She also couldn't do anything other than look good and stroke his ego. As a PP said, it is probably because these two men are immature.

Anonymous wrote:wtf? a waitress or someone who doesn't like sports isn't "helpless."

maybe the question is: why do men I think have it all date women I look down on?

Or...Why are they dating THEM and not ME????

Anonymous wrote:Men like women who are grateful. Ego strokes.

Helpless? No. This, however is spot on ...

Dc working women with high b level degrees in nonsense are very frumpy and argumentative.

wtf? a waitress or someone who doesn't like sports isn't "helpless."

maybe the question is: why do men I think have it all date women I look down on?

Just because a person is a PhD or a good athlete...or whatever...doesn't mean they have a high level of self confidence in all aspects of their life. Nor does it mean they are seeking someone with the same interests.

Now, about the women not being their equals. There is a good possibility they are superior to these men in areas the men value or need.

And last, many men (and I don't include the immature and selfish men) tend to gravitate to women that make them feel good. Many women don't get that about men but it's true.

Oh...there are also men that are so base they go after the women just for their looks and cup size. See the immature and selfish men mentioned above. And yes, even those men can be good athletes and have PhD's.

You said "some guys." So there's your answer. But JK Rowling was "just a waitress," so it doesn't mean they're not equal.

I think that you are zeroing in on one aspect of these women and coming to conclusions that might not be accurate. Maybe these guys like these women because they are funny, resilient, smart, well read, spontaneous, fit, adventurous...there are lots of things that they might have in common that you just aren't seeing. It's possible to be a waitress with a good work ethic and who pays her bills on time. It's also possible to be a white collar professional with a poor work ethic and drowning in debt.

Men like women who are grateful. Ego strokes.

opposites attract

Less pitchy

I've noticed that some men that I work with or friends with date women who are not their equals. Ex: PhD dates a woman that works as a waitress. Athletic guy dates a girl that doesn't like sports. Etc. Of course none of these men are married so maybe that is why. Your thoughts DCUM?