Combination of insecure and big ego is an oxymoron.

Ugh. Run.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain what's going on with these individuals? How do you make a connection? The one I know has problems being vulnerable, gets needy if he thinks he'll lose me and distant if he thinks he's got me. I like him, though I'm not overly invested. I want to know what makes him tick.

Borderline Personality Disorder with a touch of Narcissism. Its a real winning combo.

There's no way you could diagnose BPD given that info.

The narcissism sounds right though. He has a grandiose self image. When he fails to live up to his own ridiculous expectations (and others fail to "recognize" his awesomeness) he probably gets upset.

But, when his ego recovers, he's back to taking people for granted again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to make a connection with this drama king? Find an emotionally stable guy and don't look back.

Some women are just bored by emotionally stable guys. Say they don't want drama, but then invest a bunch of energy in the guys who are either head cases or playing games.

OP said she wants to know what makes him tick. I'll bet dollars to donuts she thinks she can fix him too.

A little bit, yes. I want to know what he needs, what will make him feel better about himself. Sometimes when I compliment him he puffs up and it makes me happy. Other times he doesn't believe me and it makes me sad for him. We're both post marriage and it's not really a serious relationship. More of a friendship. I think he's terrific, I just wish he felt the same way about himself.

Careful that you are not codependent, OP.

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain what's going on with these individuals? How do you make a connection? The one I know has problems being vulnerable, gets needy if he thinks he'll lose me and distant if he thinks he's got me. I like him, though I'm not overly invested. I want to know what makes him tick.

Borderline Personality Disorder with a touch of Narcissism. Its a real winning combo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to make a connection with this drama king? Find an emotionally stable guy and don't look back.

Some women are just bored by emotionally stable guys. Say they don't want drama, but then invest a bunch of energy in the guys who are either head cases or playing games.

OP said she wants to know what makes him tick. I'll bet dollars to donuts she thinks she can fix him too.

A little bit, yes. I want to know what he needs, what will make him feel better about himself. Sometimes when I compliment him he puffs up and it makes me happy. Other times he doesn't believe me and it makes me sad for him. We're both post marriage and it's not really a serious relationship. More of a friendship. I think he's terrific, I just wish he felt the same way about himself.

You will eventually see what he's insecure about. It's pure fucking torture trying to love someone like this.

Both of you are operating on a weird cycle of chase. It creates a lot of uncertainty. That uncertainty lends itself to a weird high that goes along with the chase. It makes the sex unbelievable, but it's not sustainable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to make a connection with this drama king? Find an emotionally stable guy and don't look back.

Some women are just bored by emotionally stable guys. Say they don't want drama, but then invest a bunch of energy in the guys who are either head cases or playing games.

OP said she wants to know what makes him tick. I'll bet dollars to donuts she thinks she can fix him too.

Run OP! I dated one like this. Doesn't turn out well.

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to make a connection with this drama king? Find an emotionally stable guy and don't look back.

Some women are just bored by emotionally stable guys. Say they don't want drama, but then invest a bunch of energy in the guys who are either head cases or playing games.

Why would you want to make a connection with this drama king? Find an emotionally stable guy and don't look back.

He's a game player. Run away.

To a mild degree, I think this is normal. When I'm feeling insecure, I do find myself seek emotional reassurance from people.

I think the key for him is that when he is feeling "up," to remember how helpless and needy he felt when he was "down," and to stay humble and not take people in his life for granted. I think this eventually happens as people mature and have been through many "ups and downs."

He could be bipolar, too -- cycling between depressive and hypomanic states.

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain what's going on with these individuals? How do you make a connection? The one I know has problems being vulnerable, gets needy if he thinks he'll lose me and distant if he thinks he's got me. I like him, though I'm not overly invested. I want to know what makes him tick.

Why do women like assholes?

Can someone explain what's going on with these individuals? How do you make a connection? The one I know has problems being vulnerable, gets needy if he thinks he'll lose me and distant if he thinks he's got me. I like him, though I'm not overly invested. I want to know what makes him tick.