Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:41     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Hi, MIL, we just got a big box of gifts from you that you picked out, wrapped and sent to your grandkids. I am hoping to only give them one, and put the rest into the Easter baskets I put together from the Easter bunny. Who is not their grandmother who lives a distance away and is left just sending gifts to her grandchildren on holiday. Who is actually a made up animal with a curious relation to the actual death of Jesus on a cross. You don't mind the switcher oo right?"


OP here. I see your point. I'll give them the dang gifts.


Haha! FWIW I have a crazy MIL too
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:40     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
I meant "overseas" -- not oversees.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:39     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
Just give them the gifts. I have a brother who lives oversees and I used to send his kids wrapped gifts for the holidays that I carefully picked out. I discovered that he unwrapped them, distributed them to different kids, and said they were from Santa. I never received acknowledgment from the kids re the gifts because they didn't even know they came from me. I found it very hurtful, and I've just stopped sending gifts to the family. Now I just call or email. Just give the children the gifts -- what's the harm? You are running the risk of alienating your MIL.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:38     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
But you want to take gifts she bought and make them part of your gift from the easter bunny. That's all kinds of crazy.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:38     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a chronic over gifter. Gift giving is her love language, and I am really trying to accept her gifts with a spirit of appreciation rather than irritation. She sends boxes of wrapped gifts for every holiday and birthday. We just got our Easter box and it includes about 6 wrapped gifts for each of my 3 children. Each gift is small, like a craft kit from the dollar aisle at target or cheap sunglasses. I just don't see opening a pile of wrapped gifts from grandparents as something I want to include in our Easter tradition. We will be having baskets from the bunny and a little hunt but I don't want the kids to come to expect lots of gifts to open at Easter. They are 4,2 and 9months so they dont know the difference btw a pile of gifts that costs $10 and a pile that costs $100. I always go through her boxes and take out things to put away for later, like for airplane rides or rainy days. Is it rude to ask my MiL if she would mind if I put the rest of the stuff in the baskets and say it's from the bunny? I was thinking I could give them one thing from her so they know she was thinking of them, then divide the rest btw baskets and closet for later. Do you think she would be offended? I feel like it's a good compromise but I realize it means the kids won't know she picked all the stuff out for them.


OMG op, this is my mom to a tee. My kids are 10 and 12 now. My advice is take one thing per kid, like you say, but donate the rest. Don't save it. And this is tricky, as her DIL you could offend her by having the talks I've had with my mom--and frankly, don't bother because I can assure you that it will have NO EFFECT whatsoever on the gift load, (but may on the relationship). LOL!

The one thing where I put my foot down is if she gives money, I take it and don't let the kids see it. I have been very firm with my mom (so your DH should be with your MIL) to NOT tell the kids how much money she's given them for Christmas or whatever. It gets in the way of you training your kid to strive when your kid says, "I don't have to worry about college, grandma's already put money in the bank for it," or "fine, you won't get me X? I'll just ask grandma/I'll just use the money grandma gave me"

The sooner you can come to terms with throwing out or donating unwanted toys/candy/treats, the better you will feel. Purple Heart Veterans has a great pick-up service.

Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:37     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OMFG are your cheap???
Make your own basket.
She deserves credit for what she bought. You want to tak that from her? Disgusting.


Please don't be rude. I did make my own basket! It's ready to go. It's plenty for my children to get on Easter, a holiday not traditionally associated with piles and piles of gifts.


Also, she is pretty reasonable. Like she has mentioned before that it would be ok if we put some other stuff she sent away for a rainy day. I was thinking if we told her we put it in the baskets and told them how much they liked the stuff she'd just be happy to know they liked it. I know PP doesn't agree, but is there anyone who can see this as being reasonable?

I also don't know when we would open these gifts. We'll be gone all day at my sister's house after an early Church service. I guess at bedtime.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:33     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
Anonymous wrote:OMFG are your cheap???
Make your own basket.
She deserves credit for what she bought. You want to tak that from her? Disgusting.


Please don't be rude. I did make my own basket! It's ready to go. It's plenty for my children to get on Easter, a holiday not traditionally associated with piles and piles of gifts.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:31     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
Anonymous wrote:"Hi, MIL, we just got a big box of gifts from you that you picked out, wrapped and sent to your grandkids. I am hoping to only give them one, and put the rest into the Easter baskets I put together from the Easter bunny. Who is not their grandmother who lives a distance away and is left just sending gifts to her grandchildren on holiday. Who is actually a made up animal with a curious relation to the actual death of Jesus on a cross. You don't mind the switcher oo right?"


OP here. I see your point. I'll give them the dang gifts.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:29     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
*take
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:29     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
OMFG are your cheap???
Make your own basket.
She deserves credit for what she bought. You want to tak that from her? Disgusting.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:23     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
"Hi, MIL, we just got a big box of gifts from you that you picked out, wrapped and sent to your grandkids. I am hoping to only give them one, and put the rest into the Easter baskets I put together from the Easter bunny. Who is not their grandmother who lives a distance away and is left just sending gifts to her grandchildren on holiday. Who is actually a made up animal with a curious relation to the actual death of Jesus on a cross. You don't mind the switcher oo right?"
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:20     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
You are married with children now and MIL sending wrapped gifts for Easter is now your Easter tradition.
What is the big deal in having your kids unwrap presents versus plucking them out of a basket?
OP, check yourself. I can't imagine explaining with a straight face that unwrapping gifts is not the Easter you are envisioning.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:19     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
Why do you have to tell her?
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:19     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
I see no reason you can't put the gifts away for later. I hate clutter. Kids should get to open some gifts from grandma though. Especially the 4 year old since she can talk better and grandma might ask.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2015 17:16     Subject: Easter gifts from grandparents
My MIL is a chronic over gifter. Gift giving is her love language, and I am really trying to accept her gifts with a spirit of appreciation rather than irritation. She sends boxes of wrapped gifts for every holiday and birthday. We just got our Easter box and it includes about 6 wrapped gifts for each of my 3 children. Each gift is small, like a craft kit from the dollar aisle at target or cheap sunglasses. I just don't see opening a pile of wrapped gifts from grandparents as something I want to include in our Easter tradition. We will be having baskets from the bunny and a little hunt but I don't want the kids to come to expect lots of gifts to open at Easter. They are 4,2 and 9months so they dont know the difference btw a pile of gifts that costs $10 and a pile that costs $100. I always go through her boxes and take out things to put away for later, like for airplane rides or rainy days. Is it rude to ask my MiL if she would mind if I put the rest of the stuff in the baskets and say it's from the bunny? I was thinking I could give them one thing from her so they know she was thinking of them, then divide the rest btw baskets and closet for later. Do you think she would be offended? I feel like it's a good compromise but I realize it means the kids won't know she picked all the stuff out for them.