Anonymous wrote:We do stay in a hotel when we visit my parents because they are hoarders. I wish things were different but I don't think it will ever change.

Same here.

We eased into it by having an "excuse" (brought a pet with us) and then have just made it habit. We also try to stay at B&B type places and say we like to make the visit feel like a mini vacation too.

We do stay in a hotel when we visit my parents because they are hoarders. I wish things were different but I don't think it will ever change.

Anonymous wrote:We do it when we visit my parents at the same time as my sisters family. I do it to make things easier on my mom. We show up showered and post-breakfast in the am.

+1 Same here. Everyone, including my parents, is quite happy with this arrangement.

We used to stay at FIL's, but now that I'm in my mid-40s I value my sleep too much for this. His house is a disaster and one step above 'condemned.' The hotel isn't a huge improvement, but there's a workout room which always improves my outlook.

Yes, I think they mind, but I'm not sleeping on an air mattress or with tons of cat hair.

We've only done it when we've brought our dogs along. It was a 2 night stay and it was just easier to have the dogs come with us but stay in the hotel while we went for our visit. In laws were fine with it.

We stay in a hotel because my parents' house is very small and my boys are active and loud. My parents do not feel comfortable with hosting all of us (they don't particularly like my husband, so I think that plays a role, too).

When they come see us, they stay in a hotel because they prefer to be in walking distance from bars and restaurants, and they do not appreciate the noise level created by my boys. We have always let them know they are more than welcome to stay with us, as we have plenty of space for them, but they refuse.

It's much, much easier for everyone involved if we stay in a hotel when we visit my ILs. MIL gets incredibly anxious at the idea of guests. She also chain smokes in the upstairs part of the house, so it's not a very healthy environment. When we stay at a hotel, she knows she can focus on one or two areas of the house to get guest-ready instead of the whole house, which makes her feel more comfortable, and we all have much better interactions because of it. They actually pay for the room, though we always offer.

We stay in a hotel. Our asthmatic child does not do well sleeping in beds with lots of pet hair and dust. Family members totally understand.

We do it when we visit my parents at the same time as my sisters family. I do it to make things easier on my mom. We show up showered and post-breakfast in the am.

Depends on the circumstances. DH and I stay in a hotel when the IL's house gets crowded-- we let DD camp out at the grandparents' house with her cousins, and we eat dinner with ILs, then go out for a drink, then sleep in and go out to breakfast together. It's heavenly. I always express abject gratitude to my MIL for this, which lets her save face. And I hype to my DD that only big girls get to stay at Grandma's without their parents. So it's very special.

My dad stays in a hotel when he visits me. He thinks he's doing me a favor not having to deal with houseguests, and it's clearly what he prefers, so I just roll with it. He likes his space and can afford it, so whatever. It started when I had some very, very screamy newborn twins, so it was understandable, and then he just kept doing it.

My in-laws weren't thrilled but they got over it when they realized it wasn't really up for discussion.

I think more people say they do this than actually stay in hotels. I know for DH and I, if we had to stay in a hotel to visit, we'd never, ever visit. Same with our parents.

For those of you who opt to stay at a hotel rather than with family in their homes, do your families mind? Do they take it as a personal affront, or pressure you to stay with them? Just wondering if we are alone.