I feel your pain OP, exact same boat here.

I don't know about the exercise, because I haven't figured out how to fit that into my full-time work, 2 young kids schedule.

The eating is hard too. Instead of buying all of the healthy foods at the beginning of the week & letting them go bad, plan on takeout. But, instead of pizza, pick up salads, or something else that's semi-healthy, that you LIKE. For me, that's the key. We still eat/order pizza & comfort food more than we should but it does help to plan on your takeout being more healthy, at least. It may not be a perfect solution, but maybe it's one you can handle for now. And as for the brownies at work. Don't resist - everyone deserves a little chocolate. Take one. Eat half & save the other half?

It seems like you need strategies to help your exhaustion. Do you & DH take turns sleeping in on the weekends and/or napping when your DD does? I know when I feel more rested, I feel more motivated to do something and eat healthier. Can you take walks with DD? Or commit to 10 minute workout videos with your DH before you collapse on the couch for the night?

I think one thing is not to have the same expectations of yourself as you did before - your life isn't the same as before. You may not go to the gym and workout for an hour, but 10 minutes at home and a walk outside is better than nothing. Try making small changes, small decisions - maybe they will lead to bigger changes?

After I had DC #1 I ate to treat myself, because there was no time to treat myself in other ways. I recommend getting a babysitter regularly and having some quality adult time to get out of this rut.

I was raised to snack constantly, and I finally had to ask myself why. I realized I was eating out of boredom. Personally, I couldn't afford to continue the bad habits, because I have borderline diabetes. The weight gain won't stop escalating unless something changes.

I would recommend getting a crock pot and looking up healthy recipes you can make with that. There are a lot of things that can be made and all you need to do is chop up and toss in some meat and vegetables early in the day and let it cook on low heat all day while you're at work.

We made a list of 20 recipes that are easy - easy enough that my husband knows some of the steps (if he beats me home he can get started and doesn't need hand holding) - we try to prep some before work, so when we get home what's left is super easy. We also meal plan (boring, but who the F wants to stop at the grocery store with a couple of kids at dinner time)..one night is takeout..we are only in week two, but so far, it's ok. I made a big lasagna last ngith and that's what we are eating this week for lunch.

OP, my DS is 16 months and DH and we have gotten into a rut too and are trying to improve.

I do really like trader joes for "healthier" frozen food. Especially the veggies. We love the zucchini fries, vegetable birds nests, and sweet potato fries. I try to stock some quick easy meals so that it will at least be healthier than fast food or take out and we have it on hand.

We have our good days and bad. Last night we had Sonic for dinner

There are prepared and semi-prepared foods that are healthy. Trader Joe's has a bunch in the frozen foods section - just read labels in the store so you aren't accidentally getting too much sodium or saturated fat. At Wegmans you can buy bags of prepared, pre-chopped veggies for things like stir fry. Thinner cuts of fish and chicken cook up quickly on your stove top or in the oven and are healthy provided you don't drown them in butter or oil.

Another thing you could try is a meal delivery service like Plated or Blue Apron - it's more cooking than you're probably used to, but it's all portioned out and delivered right to your door. Just keep an eye on fat and calories in some of the meals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why not post on the Food board?

Because I don't need recipes, I know what is healthy and how to cook them. I need a strategy for our relationship to motivate each other to eat/live better and better handle our stress/exhaustion.

You are overthinking it. You don't need strategies for your relationship to motivate each other. You just need to plan meals. It is a basic human need and you deserve to give it priority in your life. If you know what is healthy and how to cook them, just do it. Don't agree when DH says "let's order pizza". Say no, let's cook. Or, better yet, pull out a meal from the fridge that you have already prepared. Unless this is a major source of strife within your marriage, you are overthinking this as a relationship issue.

Anonymous wrote:why not post on the Food board?

Because I don't need recipes, I know what is healthy and how to cook them. I need a strategy for our relationship to motivate each other to eat/live better and better handle our stress/exhaustion.

I second the trying to prep food in advance. Or buy pre-prepped healthy food so it's just as easy to pull out a bagged salad as a bag of chips. I usually scoff at the prices of the pre-chopped fruit and veggies at the grocery store, but they do cut down on prep work considerably and won't be any more expensive than take out. If you stock your house with healthy, semi-prepared food and don't buy lunch out, it sounds like you'll be much better off than you are now. Calculate what you are spending on take-out in a given week, and if you don't order any for a week or two, reward yourself by spending the money on something that would ordinarily be a bit of a splurge (house cleaner? baby sitter? dinner at that fun sushi place?).

Don't try changing everything all at once, but pick one of two things to do differently starting this week, for example, prepping lunches at night. Or, since the weather is changing, taking a walk together when you get home from work. If you're motivated by competition or tracking changes, try an ap like my fitness pal or getting a fitbit. Once you get in a good groove, it will be easier to start making other changes and turn down the brownines.

Try going on a special diet like HCG to burn off the the weight so then you can go on a maintenance plan.

It's a vicious cycle. You're not cooking because you're so tired, but you're so tired because you aren't eating healthy foods.

Commit to weekend prep! Google "once a month cooking" for ideas of what can be prepped in advance. One parent takes the kid out for a date on Sunday morning after the family shops, the other parent does the prep for the week. Roast a chicken, boil a dozen eggs, chop a bunch of vegetables, cook up a large batch of brown rice.

why not post on the Food board?

i don't have anything to suggest but wanted you to know I'm in exactly the same boat.

Takeout shouldn't even be an option. Meals don't have to be fancy. Prep for the week - don't just shop - on Sunday. It's not healthy for your daughter to be eating all that food either. Can you join six o clock scramble or something like that? cook a couple meals on the weekend, and use the leftovers for lunch. Buy a premade soup, or roast some veggies, and have turkey sandwiches for lunch. A rotisserie chicken and some brown rice and veggies for dinner is fast, and much healthier than takeout. You just have to make it priority.

Ever since my DD was born 2.5 years ago, I have not been able to lose the 40 pounds I gained during pregnancy and DH has gained 20. We used to be active and cook healthy meals, only drink alcohol during the weekend, go out for sushi or to restaurants with healthy food options. Now, we are so exhausted and stressed, that we don't make time for exercise and have pizza, Thai and Chinese on speed dial. We buy healthy foods at the beginning of the week and half of it goes bad because we're too tired to cook when we get home and frequently also buy lunch rather than make the time to pack lunch. I've always been a stress eater and working full time and having a kid are kicking my ass. How do we get to a point where we motivate each other to exercise and make consistently good choices? Right now, we're enabling each other because one of us will say I feel like pizza and the other one will give in because we don't feel like cooking. Or when there are brownies at a work meeting, I no longer resist. Instead I eat 3. It is not a good path to continue on but it is so hard to get back on track.