My parents put my son to bed too late, don't feed him as healthfully as I do. They let him watch too much TV and play too many video games. On top of that my father tells inappropriate things like it is OK to fart and burp. Drives me nuts.

That said I know he will be SAFE and LOVED and generally well taken care of when he is with them. They are not daily care givers so I have learned to accept that my son having a close relationship with my parents comes with a few drawbacks.

I am a single parent and about once a year I need to travel for work. My mother is the only one I would allow to stay with DS for while I am gone. She able to do school drop off/pick up and take care of DS and all the household chores while I am gone. I of course do as much as I can before I go.

Sadly, no. Mom is very old school and while I'll trust her while DD is a baby/ toddler I won't later (she's kind of abusive, frankly). Dad molested me so he's out. DH's parents are hoarders who always have the TV on - no way in hell I'll leave DD with them.

It really sucks.

Parents, yes. In-laws, no. And that has nothing to do with the fact I'm not their child, it's their health (and actually, their judgment too now that I think of it).

No, because my dad is in denial about his hearing loss. It's too bad-- if he would get a hearing aid I wouldn't have a problem.

My parents, yes. My ILs aren't willing to watch our kids, but even if they were, I wouldn't really trust them. My kids aren't comfortable with the ILs either.

Well, they're the custodians in the event of my & my husband's death, so clearly I trust them more than I trust anyone else. That said, I have seen them drop the ball on some safety precautions I would have expected to be second nature to them. Nothing negligent or horrible, but not exactly what I considered common sense. I try to keep it in perspective - it would be a lot less traumatizing for my kids to go with family they know & love than with strangers, and my parents were overall very good parents. My husband and I are taking a different approach than they did on a number of things, but when it comes down to it, yes I fully trust my parents with my kids.

MIL I trust with the kids, but she doesn't stand up to FIL when the kids' safety requires her immediate attention and he's demanding tea be made right then & there, so while he's still present and demanding of MIL's full attention, I can't give the ILs the full range.

Anonymous wrote:100%. Both sides of the family.

Me too, and believe me, I fully appreciate what a blessing that is.

100%. Both sides of the family.

My parents, yes. With all ages. They respect my rules and guidelines, even if they don't 100% agree with them and they back me and DH up completely. They love spending time with grandkids and respect us as their parents. They also respect the kids and have appropriate expectations (ie, they don't expect a 2yo to sit still for a formal dinner, they do expect a 6yo to be polite and clean up after themselves, they don't push the kids to perform on cue or give guilt trips)

My MIL? Nope. Prob not until they're middle school or so. She's not dangerous, it's just like a PP said above, she's lost that mommy danger sense. In addition, she doesn't respect our rules and does what she wants, even if we explicitly say no. She tries to undermine us with DS and he has very little patience with her since she treats him like a baby or like a teenager, she's forgotten what's appropriate for little kids and what they are/are not capable of.

Generally, yes.

They need some reminders as to what particular kinds of trouble DS might get into for the phase he's in now and a demonstration of the car seat (grandparents are long-distance), but on the whole, yes.

Absolutely.

My parents? Yes. My in-laws, mostly yes. My in-laws are a little spacey, but my MIL is a nurse practitioner. My FIL alone? No way.

They are going to handle things differently. That's okay--kids really can figure out that different adults = different rules. It's good for them to have different authority figures. As long as they aren't feeding them food they are allergic to or letting them endanger themselves, it's fine.

No. They've just lost their mommy/daddy danger sense. So they don't get worried when it's too quiet. Or help a young one down the stairs when he/she follows them out the front door. Etc.

Depends on the age of the kid. With 5+, I totally do, but not with babies because my parents stubbornly refuse to cooperate with safe sleep rules. After several screaming fights, I don't leave them alone with babies. Too bad because I would have liked to take a nap.

I'd like to say I do, but I don't. I think my parents and my ILs were/are great parents and I know they love my kids but I also know there are a lot of things they do differently than I do as a parent and I have seen quite a few instances w/ all of them where they were not as attentive as I'd like or handled a situation much differently than my DH and I do. I hate feeling like this--it makes me feel like I'm a control freak and I want my kids to spend time w/ their grandparents and just let go and let the grandparents do their thing...but how do I allow myself to let go and trust them?