Do not feel OP you look down on your sister and I suspect everyone of the above comments is from the same person. I do not think by giving a little background means you do not like/respect your sister, you laid out the facts.

The take away for me is that she is incredibly selfish and pampered and does not want to inconvenience herself for you, or anyone else. If it were me I would call her and tell her you have taken care of the invites to remove the stress from this task and at that point ask for a "re commitment" from her about whether or not she has it in her to help out or not. I would not pressure her and would tell her that you are fine if she cannot help out but you need to know in an effort for the planning to be done as efficiently as possible. And that would be a good time to go over a timeline/to do list and if she is on board, let her clearly know what your expectations are of her and in what time frame, allow her to say whether or not she can commit to it.

This gives her a graceful "out" or it's a great subtle reminder of if she is going to help out, you are outlining the parameters in no uncertain terms. Good luck, dealing with narcissistic people is never easy. I have a few in my own family.

I don't understand why your brother can't do invitations. That's a great task for the out-of-towner.

And yes, you definitely look down on your sister.

When is this party happening?

Anonymous wrote:You do not respect your sister. We can all see that. You may respect women who nake the decision to be stay at home moms, but you do not respect your sister.

+1 Reread your post, OP. You love her but you don't respect her. That's crystal clear.

Just order the invites yourself and she can pay her share. It seems that she's assigned the invites so that she can do "something" on principle but in truth she gets overwhelmed with small tasks and it would be easy for you to get it done.

You do not respect your sister. We can all see that. You may respect women who nake the decision to be stay at home moms, but you do not respect your sister.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh well. If it will only take you 20 minutes to do the invitations, with your eyes closed, then just do it. Get in bed with your ipad, strap on a sleep mask, and order the dumb invitations.

I'm a SAHM, and while I'd follow through if I told you I'd order the invites, I actually hate party planning. Hate it. We waited years to get MARRIED because I dreaded planning the damn wedding and reception. You obviously dislike your sister and look down on her choices, but this is your parents' party. Don't make this about your struggles.

I dislike my sister? Says who! I lover her and respect her tremendously, I applaud her decision to stay home to raise her daughter so please don't go there and try to antagonize a situation you know nothing about.
What I don't respect is her telling me she wants half the responsibility but cannot do one simple
task. Especially because she does not have neatly the load I do but my husband said best thing is to email her and let her know I will take care of the few small jobs I gave her and be done with it- don't need the extra stress.

Well seeing that 90% of your post passively aggressively putti g her down, yea, most of us would surmise that you don't likeher, jealous of her lifeste or both.

Anonymous wrote:Do it yourself. She has proven that she isn't going to step up, so don't add any more stress to your busy life by fuming over what she "should" do. I agree she's kind of useless, but you have no control over that.

OP, just tell you're going to order the invites. Don't try to control others; it's futile.

Just do it yourself.

Anonymous wrote:Oh well. If it will only take you 20 minutes to do the invitations, with your eyes closed, then just do it. Get in bed with your ipad, strap on a sleep mask, and order the dumb invitations.

I'm a SAHM, and while I'd follow through if I told you I'd order the invites, I actually hate party planning. Hate it. We waited years to get MARRIED because I dreaded planning the damn wedding and reception. You obviously dislike your sister and look down on her choices, but this is your parents' party. Don't make this about your struggles.

I dislike my sister? Says who! I lover her and respect her tremendously, I applaud her decision to stay home to raise her daughter so please don't go there and try to antagonize a situation you know nothing about.
What I don't respect is her telling me she wants half the responsibility but cannot do one simple
task. Especially because she does not have neatly the load I do but my husband said best thing is to email her and let her know I will take care of the few small jobs I gave her and be done with it- don't need the extra stress.

Just do it yourself. Some people suck at party stuff. Did you ask her what part she wanted to help with?

Oh well. If it will only take you 20 minutes to do the invitations, with your eyes closed, then just do it. Get in bed with your ipad, strap on a sleep mask, and order the dumb invitations.

I'm a SAHM, and while I'd follow through if I told you I'd order the invites, I actually hate party planning. Hate it. We waited years to get MARRIED because I dreaded planning the damn wedding and reception. You obviously dislike your sister and look down on her choices, but this is your parents' party. Don't make this about your struggles.

Do it yourself. She has proven that she isn't going to step up, so don't add any more stress to your busy life by fuming over what she "should" do. I agree she's kind of useless, but you have no control over that.

Would love some insight here. I work full time have 4 kids, busy busy lives and frankly have very little down time except on weekends which normally are spent juggling the 2 remaining kids at home and their schedules (husband and I split the duties). So my sister who has one little girl does not work and who considers making a nail appt. and maybe shopping a bit "a hard days work". I accept it...we live different lives, I would be bored to tears doing what she does every day and she certainly could not handle running a business and doing all I do.

However, we are planning a surprise anniversary for our parents (50th). It was my idea I asked her if she wanted to do it, my brother is on the west coast is limited in what he can do but happily said he will pay his share. I have done the legwork including booking our club, starting to make up the guest list,etc....i asked her to do one thing. Take care of the invitations, she is hemming and hawing over it telling me she is "so busy". I told her she could easily do this online but she says she gets overwhelmed doing it online (insert eye roll here). So I gave her a few places in Georgetown (where they live) waited 4 days and called to see how she made out. She got mad that I was "pressuring her" and she would take care of it when her schedule allowed!!!

I was fuming! I could do this in 20 min with my eyes closed. She is going on vacation next week and i can see it now, it will not be done before she goes. So I am thinking of either calling or emailing her telling her I will take over the invitations and just ask that she pay her share (the party is costing about 12k). She has not ordered the invites or done a single thing however did mention she figured out what she is wearing!! Imagine that. My patience is done, I am so over trying to appease her, thoughts?