I do have a friend who was able to get enough alimony that she could SAH (in addition to help from her parents), but she had a special needs son, homeschooled at times, and didn't have much earning potential.

Given the income "potential" of you both, I'd be surprised if you get much in the way of alimony, let alone for 10 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One additional note. Let's just say for the sake of argument you did get alimony. That would only last until the kids leave, and then what? You would have been out of the job market for years. You will find it incredibly difficult to find work.

+1. DH offered the deal you are looking for to his exWife. She has been out of the work force now for 20 years. The youngest goes to college in the fall. Job prospects are pretty low for a 50 yr old women who has not been employed for many years. The jobs that she can get require standing on her feet which as you get older is difficult. Add to that that because she was a divorced SAHM living on alimony, she has no retirement. Do not do this to yourself.

Were they married long enough for her to qualify for his Social Security?

I have known people so SAH after divorce, but it's usually when there are so many young kids that childcare would be cost-prohibitive. In your situation, OP, not likely. Sure you planned to SAH, but you also planned to stay married-- plans change.

People like you give SAHMs a bad name. Get off your ass.

Sorry-- I think even if you did get a generous portion of his income, it wouldn't be enough for you to SAH. Running two households is super expensive. And what about your long-term financial needs? It's in your best interest to get a job asap.

Anonymous wrote:One additional note. Let's just say for the sake of argument you did get alimony. That would only last until the kids leave, and then what? You would have been out of the job market for years. You will find it incredibly difficult to find work.

+1. DH offered the deal you are looking for to his exWife. She has been out of the work force now for 20 years. The youngest goes to college in the fall. Job prospects are pretty low for a 50 yr old women who has not been employed for many years. The jobs that she can get require standing on her feet which as you get older is difficult. Add to that that because she was a divorced SAHM living on alimony, she has no retirement. Do not do this to yourself.

Nope. Go to work.

Get a job, freeloader.

One additional note. Let's just say for the sake of argument you did get alimony. That would only last until the kids leave, and then what? You would have been out of the job market for years. You will find it incredibly difficult to find work.

I'd be interested to know how the two of you (pre-divorce) reached the conclusion that the person with the graduate degree should stay home, and the person who makes only 2/3rds of of what the grad school graduate makes would be the one to go to work.

That's seems like an odd set up even before the divorce. Now that you are getting a divorce, agree with others that it's unrealistic to expect two household to be supported on this one limited income.

Time for you to put to work the graduate degree you got.

Generally a judge will give alimony for a time that is half the amount of time you stayed home, as long as you are not re-married or shacked up with someone else. If you have a graduate degree, it is expected you will use it.

Unlikely. A judge is more likely to require that you return to work after some period of time. You don't get to be a stay-at-home mommy if you divorce, especially if you have a graduate degree and more earning potential. That' patently ridiculous.

I think you may have a tough time running two households on one not-large income. If I were you, I'd consider going back to work, sorry.

I know this invites criticism but I want to know if I am being unrealistic. Married approx 10yrs, 2 kids under 10yrs old, I have graduate degree but been SAHM for 3 yrs, H didn't graduate college.. H makes about two thirds of what I used to make but we decided that we wanted a stay at home parent. Can I get alimony until kids go to college so I can SAH like we originally plannned?